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Two spouses working isn't a necessity for all marriages.
What if she plans to be a stay at home mother? Does she really need career ambition if that's her goal?
If she plans to be a SAHM or SAHW, then she at the minimum needs to be able to cook and clean and keep the house organized & running. I hope she isn't so lazy as to refuse to do the grocery shopping and just sleep till 11 everyday and watch Oprah re-runs.
Two spouses working isn't a necessity for all marriages.
What if she plans to be a stay at home mother? Does she really need career ambition if that's her goal?
Hopes, I am well aware that 2 spouses working isn't necessary for all marriages as I am a SAHM, but she wants to quit now and do nothing.
I hope she is a SAHM as I believe very strongly in that, but she has no ambition, she wants to sleep all the time, go shopping or just lay around and watch TV. I want her to go to college because at one time she wanted to go but she just keeps putting if off.
Ick....obviously didn't know that when I wrote my first response.
Well, unfortunately you can't choose your children's spouses and he either doesn't care or is blind to her lack of ambition/laziness.
Does he make enough to support her & future children?
Have they ever lived together? I'm usually not for that before marriage, but it may be eye-opening to son to see how little housework/cleaning/etc she does.....and if she stays at home, that's how she woudl need to contribute to the family since she's not making $$$.
He does make enough to support them and their future children, and they have been living together for about 1.5 years, he gets upset at her but then seems to blow it off.
If she plans to be a SAHM or SAHW, then she at the minimum needs to be able to cook and clean and keep the house organized & running. I hope she isn't so lazy as to refuse to do the grocery shopping and just sleep till 11 everyday and watch Oprah re-runs.
I know she is capable of doing all of this, she just doesn't want to.
I had no trouble letting my two older girls grow up and move out into the world on their own. I am proud of what they have accomplished in their lives so far.
Having said that, neither have been in a relationship to the point of that kind of seriousness. My oldest, soon to be 29, was dating someone last summer who she thought she could get serious about......until he told her kids were not ever going to be in his future. She asked for advice and in the end she told him she just would not invest the time and effort into a relationship that would have to end eventually. I was so very proud of her for looking that far into the future and making that decision.
She only recently started dating another guy who is pulling out all the stops for her and she is falling quickly. We've not met him yet, but on the surface he is doing all the right things. lol She's got a very good head on her shoulders though, so if she and he last and choose each other for marriage partners, then I will trust her.
My second oldest, 24 this summer, has only casually dated so we've never faced anything in that regards with her.
It's so hard as a mom to watch your kids fail, but failure is a great teacher. I haven't had to face the marriage thing yet, but I have watched my daughter drop out of college. It has been so hard not to yank her by the hair and tell her to get her life together! Instead she is working full time and saving money to move out. We have given her a deadline to either go back to college or move out. It's breaking my heart because I feel like she is throwing her life away. Sometimes we have to step back and realize that we are not in control and pray that they will find their way.
Hopefully if your son does marry this girl he will find out quickly how lazy she is and will end the marriage before children come into the picture. Either way, there isn't much you can do but be there to pick up the pieces. He is a grown man and trying to stop him will only push him away.
This sounds like a controlling personality. You weren't willing to let your kids experience their own mistakes and you tried to protect them. This is a perfect example of over-protection from someone who just needs to fill an empty void in their life through control.
Who are you referring to?
You quoted Pitt Chick. But her post didn't indicate that she was controlling AT ALL. Quite the opposite. Maybe you're confused.
It's so hard as a mom to watch your kids fail, but failure is a great teacher. I haven't had to face the marriage thing yet, but I have watched my daughter drop out of college. It has been so hard not to yank her by the hair and tell her to get her life together! Instead she is working full time and saving money to move out. We have given her a deadline to either go back to college or move out. It's breaking my heart because I feel like she is throwing her life away. Sometimes we have to step back and realize that we are not in control and pray that they will find their way.
Hopefully if your son does marry this girl he will find out quickly how lazy she is and will end the marriage before children come into the picture. Either way, there isn't much you can do but be there to pick up the pieces. He is a grown man and trying to stop him will only push him away.
I truly hope their marriage works out, I don't want my son to be unhappy and I do realize we just have to back off and let it be, and just pray for the best. It is just very hard to see your kids making what you feel like could be a mistake.
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