The slob man-child - what does one do? (parents, play, immature)
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You (or his father, I am not sure about the relationship here.
The OP is the father's-girlfriend's-girlfriend-turned-part-time-cook-wench because the father's girlfriend moved out and apparently doesn't cook for him at least three days per week if at all.
You're the one who is having a difficult time processing this. He hired you to cook. There are many people who would be willing to cook for him under the current conditions. Domestic helpers sometimes have to clean up after slobs. It's just a fact. There's always someone willing to do the job. If you're paid hourly, then your time is being respected because you're being compensated for your time. If you were silly enough to be paid per meal instead of hourly, that's your fault. You knew this young adult was a slob before you agreed to the job. The job is what it is.
You said it, he hired me to COOK. Yet the job is what it is, as in cleaning up after this kid? Do you even know what you are arguing about?
Did you read the part where he wanted to pay me to clean as well and I refused BECAUSE he has someone there already who should be doing it?
Whether or not I knew he was a slob is not the point. I am not being paid to clean up after him. I did not sign up for that job. His son is supposed to be doing HIS part. That is what this is about.
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Quit trying to change it into something it's not.
And why am I trying to change it into something it is not? Are you under the impression that I have something to prove here? This is not about me or what you want to make it out to be.
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You're confusing the friend/employee boundaries. You may be his friend, but you are also his employee. You can't be both at the same time.
Says who, you? How are you the authority on my working relationship with my friend? As to the rest of the work issue, I'm not going to bother. Try READING all I've said and you might actually have a clue.
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The OP is the father's-girlfriend's-girlfriend-turned-part-time-cook-wench because the father's girlfriend moved out and apparently doesn't cook for him at least three days per week if at all.
Wrong again, they are BOTH my friends, equally so. Again, had you actually read what I wrote, you would know that.
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Hell, I would have fired the person I hired to cook for dicating how things were done in my household way before she had a chance to post it on the internet!
I would love for you to show me where I "dictated" how things were done in his household. Really. Quote it.
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My children wouldn't be in the situation you describe. And I wouldn't have hired a judgemental person to work for me either.
No, you are clearly one of those people who thinks the person she hires should not have any objection to anything I have described. As long as you are paying them, they should suck it up and do whatever it takes, even if they're not being paid for it. I'm sure you and your children will be great contributors to society.
I'm judgmental and you're a hypocrite. Your responses are as judgmental and uninformed as it gets. But you're right, you would not do well hiring me. If your kid gets on my nerves, has no respect, no manners and is a total waste of space, I'm going let you know about it. Your little prince or princess should not become MY problem, period.
what would you do if this was YOUR child? How would you deal with this kind of behavior, with a kid who truly has no regard for you, the rules or anyone else? Forget about me and my nosey, no life having self. Let's talk about you.
this isnt a KID... this is a GROWN MAN (20, although young, is GROWN) and I would not tolerate it in my house (whether hes 12 or 20). A 12 year old you can correct, but if the loser wants a free ride from dad and cant pick up his dirty drawers from the floor and put dishes in the sink, (if it were MY kids).. he'd be GONE.
the father obviously does not command and demand respect in his home. there is nothing YOU can do about it. You can deal with it for what it is, or quit, and tell the father youll be happy to come back and cook when the home is no longer a pigsty - with or without the son present.
My son is 20 also a slob. We get along great, he goes to college, has had a part time job for 4 years, and he is polite and helpful HOWEVER is very sloppy. I've gone into his room over the years and spent HOURS hauling stuff out, rearranging and cleaning. But since he graduated from HS I have just kept his door shut.
Yesterday he misplaced something and I went into his room to help look for it and it was just too much. Everything in piles on the floor, nothing in the hamper or in the dresser...just piles on the floor. And you couldn't even get to the closet...not that you'd want to since he admitted he just opens it occasionally to toss stuff in that he doesn't want to look at. Thankfully we have a "no food in the bedrooms" rule so I didn't have to deal with pests! LOL!
Today I forced the issue. I got him to bring every speck of clothing and linens for inspecting, sorting, washing and putting away where it's supposed to be and NOT in a stack on the floor. As I type he is in there filling up a garbage bag with old boxes, packaging, papers, etc, organizing books, tossing old computer parts, and working his way to the closet. When he is done I will do a final sweep and set thing up for easy cleaning. We are getting rid of childish things, meaning the games and toys left over from his youth are going. So it the TV and TV stand, which he never uses anyway. NEVER AGAIN. His problem is he just has too much stuff in there, and at least 75% is stuff he could care less about.
I would love for you to show me where I "dictated" how things were done in his household. Really. Quote it.
Read this paragraph you posted:
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Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
When I am there, I cook and clean up the kitchen afterward. I have had to clean the kitchen before hand because the boy will make a mess, even though his father has told him to make sure it is clean before I get there. I told his father about it, nothing has changed. I started telling him to get in there and clean when he wasn't at work, but he will half-*ss his way through it and pots and utensils are still dirty. I just don't have the desire to sit through 2 and 3 washes or wash again what he didn't get right the first time. I told dad this is a complete lack of respect for me and my time to have to go through this almost every time I go there. He apologized and offered to give me more money. Didn't I say that I refused to clean?
Clearly, the father and you have different ideas of the job duties. He offered you more money. That means he wants you to clean. You don't want to clean and that's your right, but you should stop trying to insist that the kitchen be cleaned prior to your arrival or quit if you don't want to do the job the way it is.
You said you wanted your time to be respected. The man is willing to compensate you for your time. Since that's not good enough for you, that means you are trying to dictate the way things are done at the house. If you weren't wanting to change the way they are living, you would just deal with the job the way it is or you would quit. Instead, you continue to work there and continue to try to get them to do things your way.
If you want to keep the job but not deal with the nonsense, why not just cook the food at your home, put it in aluminum trays and bring it there and leave it? You can ask him what meals they want for the 3 days, ask him for grocery money to pick up the items, cook it at your home, bring it to them. This way, you don't have to clean their filthy kitchen before cooking and you don't have to be around the son.
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