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I read a post on here today that scratched at a sore spot, but it was a few days old, so I didn't post to it.
Why are people getting so intolerant of kids? I was eating at a diner/cafe type restaurant last week at 6 p.m. when an older man approached us and asked us to take our son outside because he 'was disturbing a quiet dinner with his wife'. I immediately got my feathers ruffled and probably looked like it, so he turns and talked to my husband instead. My issue was, my son is 1 and babbles sometimes like he's supposed to, he was not screaming, whining or crying at all. I chalked it up to Florida rudeness, but after reading the 'make your kids behave' thread I see it's alot of people.
Anyway, i told the man, that's why we we eat early and this is not a romantic place it's a family restaurant! I feel sorry for his wife if he thinks she's not worth more than $10. How does anyone who has ever had kids believe they are going to be absolutely quiet for 2 hours? That is what would not be normal! ( He said he takes his grandkids outside when they make any noise, they must hate when he babysits) In the airport the other day, I also heard an older couple lamenting about how people used to have to dress up to fly and give me a dirty look when my son started whining. (I did immediately get up to walk him around, even leaving my bags, just to be courteous) The end point is, do you think people are expecting too much? Of course in the 'good old days' you could go out and not have to listen to kids, but things were more expensive. If you want that then go to a nice restaurant or bar where you're less likely to see children. Don't go somewhere that caters to them and get mad cause they're there! If you want the same experience on a plane, then go private! The opportunities still exist for you to have that experience, but be honest, if you don't want to pay for it, lower your standards and stop blaming parents.
Of course, there are genuinely some out of control children, but for the most part it's relative and it seems what people were complaining about is normal, developmentally appropriate behavior. I'm sorry that the only place with a playground is McDonald's, but we're not going to eat there every week because of some sourpuss.
BTW, the server and manger apologized profusely for the guy's behavior and said something to him! So I guess I'll thank my husband for calming me down once again and not cussing him out like i wanted to. Then i would have looked like the horse's behind instead of him.
I think there is a BIG difference in the reactions of people before and after they have kids of their own. In addition, there is a BIG difference in reactions of people who have "normal", low-maintenance kids, and those who have kids with special needs. It all boils down to experience. People who have had no experience with kids don't have a clue what the challenges are, and people who have kids gauge everyone else by their own experience and have difficulty comprehending how, for better or worse, other families have different issues with their kids - especially where kids' behavior is concerned.
I have a lot of issues with kids, one of them is thier parents and lack of parenting. I have two kids and they were not perfect. One of them decided for some reason to start a tantrum in a family restaurant and so we immediately paid, apologized and left. That is what you are supposed to do.
I do not understand why restaurant and theatre personnel do not go to the parents and ask the people to leave. I no longer go to the movies, nor do my daughters and it does not matter what the movie is rated, kids are there.
I don't even care if its just a little noise I will ask to move first and then call the manager over and ask that they do something or I leave, simple as that.
I do not go to places that cater to kids, and just because you think your kid is cute when they scream and holler and run up and down the aisles I do not.
I have said before I think we should have kid free restaurants and now I am beginning to think kid free movie houses.
Something was said about special needs kids, what does special needs mean, I have known a lot of special needs kids and they are watched, loved and controlled by thier parents they seem to behave better than AB kids that I have known. I have seen one special needs child misbehave in all the years that I have been around.
I would like to think its just a few, its not, maybe in smaller towns but here in Tampa its an epidemic.
I have four dogs, 110 lbs, 45 lbs, 25lbs and one thats 12 lbs, I would guarantee that I could take them to a restaurant and they would all lay at my feet and stay until I got ready to leave.
What restaurant is it that two people can eat for 10.00?
I have a lot of issues with kids, one of them is thier parents and lack of parenting.
I agree. I have no issues with children in restaurants that cater to families and 1 year old babbling is totally normal, I wouldn't bat an eye at happy baby "talk." The problem is when the kids whine, scream, run around, climb over booths, and generally disturb other diners while the parent turns a blind eye is where I get annoyed. Family restaurant or not, that behavior is unacceptable. The problem is the good parents out in public seem to be a minority these days while the ones letting their kids run wild are more the norm.
Yes, there is a low tolerance for kids in this country. I remember when I was taking my then 22 month old to Europe I had so many people tell me that since people in other countries actually liked kids, it would make my trip easier. And that was true. Total strangers would come up and want to help me, offer my child something, pat him on the head, even babysit for me. There was a genuine fondness for kids (except from the Americans on the same tour with us).
One time when my son was 3 and we were standing in line (in Dallas) at a grocery store. My son had his back to a man who had his back to my son. They were back to back and neither one knew the other was there. My son reached back and accidently brushed this guy's jacket with his index finger. I saw it. The girlfriend of this guy who saw this went nuts, yelling at me about why can't I control my child from touching other people. It was such an overreaction. I saw the whole thing. The guy didn't even know what she was talking about. It was so bizarre. It's like the kid-haters are searching and looking for reasons to complain about kids.
On the other hand, it seems that kids have gotten worse overall behavior-wise and parents get used to tuning it out. Not saying this was you, Kelabu. Your situation sounds like the one I encountered at the grocery store. Total overreaction.
I think there is a BIG difference in the reactions of people before and after they have kids of their own. In addition, there is a BIG difference in reactions of people who have "normal", low-maintenance kids, and those who have kids with special needs. It all boils down to experience. People who have had no experience with kids don't have a clue what the challenges are, and people who have kids gauge everyone else by their own experience and have difficulty comprehending how, for better or worse, other families have different issues with their kids - especially where kids' behavior is concerned.
Great post..and I am not going to debate with people who believe in kid free zones....were there kid free zones when you were raising your kids..and please dont throw the horse puckey about how kids were perfect back in the day...because they werent...you just DONT remember it...you probably werent perfect either.
And lets not forget to mention that there is a BIG difference in what stage of life you are in. For the senior citizens crowd...(and it was on the todays show on nbc yesterday..for the chicago beach that is "kids free"--and was completely empty according to what they showed)..most of the people that supported it was the senior citizens crowd or the crowd that had kids who were "older"....The today show basically said that there is a trend amongst the older generation today is the "been there done that, I have already raised my kids attitude". Which is rather sad actually--because its those people that have become the typical "grouchy old people".
On the other hand, I have no tolerance for NON parenting. As a parent, yes I do believe that its my responsibility and my dh's to discipline in public or private on our childrens behaviour.
But the OP is specific to the intollerance of children as a growing trend..and I agree...I do see more and more.
Something was said about special needs kids, what does special needs mean, I have known a lot of special needs kids and they are watched, loved and controlled by thier parents they seem to behave better than AB kids that I have known. I have seen one special needs child misbehave in all the years that I have been around.
Well, with my son (autistic), he has little or no attention/comprehension to normal social interactions/expectations. And while that can be annoying to some people at times (especially since I haven't yet had "AUTISTIC" tattooed across his forehead and people think he is just "acting up"*), every time we go out as a family into a social setting (such as a restaurant or fair), he is learning more and more (hopefully) about social interactions/expectations. I don't go to restaurants that are not family-friendly (you know- paper placemats..), or places where he would detract from any kind of others fine dining, and I don't strap him down to the seat, either. If you have a problem with my child (or my voice, or my perfume, etc...) you can choose to leave the restaurant, but when you dine out, you are always taking a chance that you may not enjoy some of your fellow diners...
*By this I mean that because he doesn't LOOK weird or anything, people assume that he's a bad kid. Truth be told, he is likely on his best behavior and waiting to be able to let loose when we leave.
Something was said about special needs kids, what does special needs mean, I have known a lot of special needs kids and they are watched, loved and controlled by thier parents they seem to behave better than AB kids that I have known. I have seen one special needs child misbehave in all the years that I have been around.
How do you know if kids are special needs or not just by looking at them?
"...Why are people so intolerant of kids?..." Just watch "Super Nanny"
That's a television show where the drama is manufactured and a certain amount of the entertainment is scripted. Let's not confuse real life with reality TV.
I've participated in two "reality" programs and it's about as real as the drama on on WWE.
Sara
Last edited by saralee; 07-17-2007 at 12:50 PM..
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