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I don't think you are overreacting. I would look for a new provider. Maybe you can find an in home provider who only has a few kids so that your dd could get more one on one attention or maybe a nanny share? Good luck.
Back to your original question - I don't think you are overreacting about this issue. As others have said, babies who are learning to hold their own bottles should be learning while being held by their caregiver, not alone on a pillow.
It is up to you if you want to give the center one more chance. Realistically, you will probably have to as it takes a while to line up alternative child care.
In my experience when my children were in daycare, I had to routinely go over my preferences with the staff. Sometimes it was due to turnover, other times I just felt as if they had received a lot of messages from a lot of moms and it gets confusing for them. Whether or not you stay at this center, it might help to put your requests in writing (very pleasantly and positively!) and then briefly go over them with the staff periodically.
Only you can decide if this situation warrants finding another daycare. It really depends on your overall feeling about the staff and the center.
Bottle-propping is not safe. Even if they are trying to let baby hold her own bottle, that does not need to involve bottle-propping. When my LO was that age, my daycare provider was also interested in having her learn to hold her bottle. It was not a priority for me, since she only used bottles at daycare and not at home, but it was fine with me for her to practice that as long as baby was still held during feedings. So, daycare provider held baby, but baby held the bottle. Once baby is eating solids in a high chair, there is plenty of opportunity for learning self-feeding. I wanted milk-feedings to be in-arms.
Besides the bottle-propping safety issue, I think your other main problem I see here is that you had specified something on her plan of care (being held for feedings) and that was not being followed even after they agreed to it.
At the very least (and I think this is not really OK either), they should have discussed it with you first before going against your wishes. OR they should have told you right off the bat that they couldn't accommodate your wishes. Bait and switch tactics are not OK. I agree with the others, and would be looking elsewhere.
I can understand letting an older baby feed themselves if the room is out of control but if you are setting around doing nothing -holding & feeding a child doesn't seem like to much too ask for 700 a month plus supply fees. We don't know how long she has been doing it, but we have noticed she only eats 2 5 ounce bottles a day there & then eats 6oz every 2 hours when she gets home. I also asked if they gave her her cereal & I was told "she's been asleep". From 8am to 2:40pm- really???
When my oldest daughter was that age she would sleep as long as you would let her sleep. I was shocked she would not wake up when she got hungry. I had the same issues you do. I was taking her to a 24 hour daycare because I had to be at work at 5 am. I DEMANDED they wake her up every 3 hours at least to be fed and hold her while they are doing it. 3 hours because I figured 2 hours was normal...give her time to wake up on her own. I made them post a sign in the baby area about it. They did it after I raised enough hell with the director. The biggest issue I had with the daycare was the high turnover of care givers in the baby area. Audery rarely had the same carer 2 days in a row even though they might be in the building still... I never figured out why they couldn't have the same person in an area on a regular basis.
It wasn't an ideal situation... it didn't last long. I found a home daycare I felt she was better suited to the lady who ran it.
My 11-month-old attends a daycare where there is a ratio of two teachers to 8 babies ages infant through 2 years.
The bottle-fed babies are always held when they are fed. The teachers keep a written record of each feeding and how many ounces the baby consumed. It is given to the parents when they pick up their child.
When one teacher is bottle-feeding, the other teacher is usually attending to the older babies' needs. When more than one need to eat at once, they call in a "floater" teacher to help out.
I have an irregular schedule and have stopped in during feedings on more than one occassion and she is always being held, no matter who is doing the feedings.
Only when the babies are old enough to sit in a high chair and eat finger foods are they left alone (with the teachers nearby busy wiping faces and getting kids in and out of the high chairs). Even when placed in a high chair, my child is spoonfed her yogurt and other food that she can't feed herself.
I wouldn't prop my child's bottle and would be upset if her daycare did that, especially after I asked them not to.
Propping the bottle would have seriously annoyed me. You're NEVER supposed to prop a bottle for a baby. Beside the ear infections and sucking air, there is also the chance of what used to be called "bottle rot" on her soon-to-be teeth. I used to know someone who did this with his child. At 3 years old, she needed major dental work because of it.
I also wouldn't like their attitude about it --- she's "asserting her independence"??? So they allow her to do something that is potentially physically harmful??? The "she's been sleeping" thing would have pushed me over the edge as well. Aren't they supposed to keep time records of everything (eating, naps, diaper changes, etc)???????
I would look into different facilities. Ask some of the other moms at your job where they send their kids or just do some research. I never had my DD in daycare, but I can imagine how difficult it must be. No one will care for your child the way you do, but they can at least respect your wishes while they're caring for your child.
The thing that would bother me the most is the fact that they were standing around talking and texting while babies were awake! Unless all the babies are sleeping, even if none is eating at the time, they should be giving them their full attention, playing with them, talking to them, singing to them, rocking them, feeding them, whatever.
Enough staff depending on the age of your child (no more than 3 infants to a caregiver, preferably no more than 2, for walking toddlers no more than 4, for 2 and over no more than 6, etc. - you get the idea). There should be enough staff to carry all the children in the room to safety should there be a fire or other emergency.
Separate diapering area. Separate sleeping area. At least one staff member should be in the sleep area when there are infants sleeping there (or babies should be visible to staff from where they are).
Childproofed play area. No playpens, although a few bouncy chairs or swings are helpful at times. Most of the time infants should be on the floor once they are crawling, held if they are still in the *in arms* phase of development.
All toys should be cleaned and bleached at the end of the day. Toys babies mouth should not be shared between infants although this will happen occasionally. If a toy is mouthed, it should be washed off with soap and water before being returned for the children to play with.
Diaper protocols should be followed including hand washing of both the caregivers and infants hands after the change. We always used gloves. Diapers should be disposed of properly.
Policies should include the fact that children should not be brought in sick and this should be enforced. Parents should be told not to give children tylenol and bring them. Children should be fever free for 24 hours before returning to care.
2. Atmosphere
Caregivers should like children. They should be loving and caring. It's a plus if they are educated in child development, but that can come from experience if they do not have the classes. Caregivers should be social with the children and friendly with each other. They should not, however, pay more attention to the other adults than they do to the children.
Each child should have a *primary* caregiver who is in the room every day and knows them well. Obviously because of shifts, a child will know more than one caregiver, but he or she should have one who is the main person caring for him.
3. Learning
There should be lots of toys within easy reach for the crawling and walking children. Toys should be age appropriate and safe. Toys with batteries should be limited to times when caregivers are supervising closely and should be used rarely. There should be lots of board books and soft books on the shelves for the children to look at. TV or DVDs should be used *very sparingly* if at all.
Caregivers should have a story or song time even when the children are infants. They don't need to have the kids sit for them to listen to a story or song from the adult, but if the kids want to sit that is fine too.
When the infants are awake, caregivers should be on the floor playing with them for a good part of the time. They should have some times during the day where children are allowed to play alone - supervising for safety as well.
Once they are crawling or walking, children should be allowed some independence. It is not good to rescue children every time they are stuck since being stuck allows them to exercise their problem solving skills. Too much hovering is as bad as too little attention.
Whenever possible, children should have two or more periods of outdoor play. For infants, going for walks in strollers can work. Some play should be at the park or school playground. Kids should get out unless the weather is prohibitive and that prohibition should be defined so parents know when children will be allowed to be outside and when they will not be.
The child's culture should be respected. Dolls and toys should reflect the mixture of cultures in the center at the very least. Parents should be asked to talk to the caregivers about their culture if it is different from the caregiver's culture.
There is probably more I have forgotten, but these are the main things I looked for when I had little ones.
Enough staff depending on the age of your child (no more than 3 infants to a caregiver, preferably no more than 2, for walking toddlers no more than 4, for 2 and over no more than 6, etc. - you get the idea). There should be enough staff to carry all the children in the room to safety should there be a fire or other emergency.
Separate diapering area. Separate sleeping area. At least one staff member should be in the sleep area when there are infants sleeping there (or babies should be visible to staff from where they are).
Childproofed play area. No playpens, although a few bouncy chairs or swings are helpful at times. Most of the time infants should be on the floor once they are crawling, held if they are still in the *in arms* phase of development.
All toys should be cleaned and bleached at the end of the day. Toys babies mouth should not be shared between infants although this will happen occasionally. If a toy is mouthed, it should be washed off with soap and water before being returned for the children to play with.
Diaper protocols should be followed including hand washing of both the caregivers and infants hands after the change. We always used gloves. Diapers should be disposed of properly.
Policies should include the fact that children should not be brought in sick and this should be enforced. Parents should be told not to give children tylenol and bring them. Children should be fever free for 24 hours before returning to care.
2. Atmosphere
Caregivers should like children. They should be loving and caring. It's a plus if they are educated in child development, but that can come from experience if they do not have the classes. Caregivers should be social with the children and friendly with each other. They should not, however, pay more attention to the other adults than they do to the children.
Each child should have a *primary* caregiver who is in the room every day and knows them well. Obviously because of shifts, a child will know more than one caregiver, but he or she should have one who is the main person caring for him.
3. Learning
There should be lots of toys within easy reach for the crawling and walking children. Toys should be age appropriate and safe. Toys with batteries should be limited to times when caregivers are supervising closely and should be used rarely. There should be lots of board books and soft books on the shelves for the children to look at. TV or DVDs should be used *very sparingly* if at all.
Caregivers should have a story or song time even when the children are infants. They don't need to have the kids sit for them to listen to a story or song from the adult, but if the kids want to sit that is fine too.
When the infants are awake, caregivers should be on the floor playing with them for a good part of the time. They should have some times during the day where children are allowed to play alone - supervising for safety as well.
Once they are crawling or walking, children should be allowed some independence. It is not good to rescue children every time they are stuck since being stuck allows them to exercise their problem solving skills. Too much hovering is as bad as too little attention.
Whenever possible, children should have two or more periods of outdoor play. For infants, going for walks in strollers can work. Some play should be at the park or school playground. Kids should get out unless the weather is prohibitive and that prohibition should be defined so parents know when children will be allowed to be outside and when they will not be.
The child's culture should be respected. Dolls and toys should reflect the mixture of cultures in the center at the very least. Parents should be asked to talk to the caregivers about their culture if it is different from the caregiver's culture.
There is probably more I have forgotten, but these are the main things I looked for when I had little ones.
If a center is licensed, most of the above is covered by the state standards and should be automatic in most centers, however there are a couple of things that vary from what was posted.
Regarding safety-in our state, infants are NOT to be carried to safety. Centers are required to have one heavy duty crib with wheels that can hold up to 5 infants and all infants are to be put into the crib and rolled out the appropriate and clear door.
Also in our state, the infant room must be one open room with a designated portion for sleeping, but it cannot be a separate area altogether. The staff must be able to see all infants at all times.
Last, it is considered a 'field trip' any time an enrolled child is taken off premises and there are specific rules that must be followed. Infants are rarely taken off premises because in our state you must have 1-1 ratio to take infants off premises. Simply put, that is not going to happen except in very rare cases. Older children are different, however the OP's child is only 5 months old.
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