Am I over reacting? (party, appropriate, daughter, friends)
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For our daughter's 30th Birthday we sent a very expensive fresh flower arrangement to her office on Thursday- her actual birthday. Then we find out she had decided to take Thursday and Friday off just to run some errands and enjoy some extra time off. I told her on the phone about the flowers and suggested she run by her office to pick the flowers up so she could enjoy them over the weekend. She lives very close to work. She declined. that hurt my feelings right there.
So today she sends us a picture of the flowers and says "One of my friends decided to take them home with her cause she was having a dinner party and she brought them back today cause they are still pretty". It is obvious some of the flowers had been removed as it was not the really large arrangement we picked from a picture.
I'm ticked at her for not taking the time to pick them up but even more cause she was insensitive enough to tell us somebody else enjoyed them over the weekend. And of course how anybody could think they were entitled to take a gift home with them to enjoy when the recipient was not there REALLY ticks me off.
We did not spend close to $100 for her friend to enjoy flowers.
I feel like sending her an e mail which says "I'm glad somebody got to enjoy your birthday flowers. Would your friend be interesting in contributing to the cost of your gift?" But of course I won't.
I would have taken the time to go by work and pick up flowers that someone had thoughtfully sent to me, but I don't expect everyone to be like me. Perhaps she has a valid reason for not going by her office. Maybe she told them she was unavailable during the day and it would be awkward to stop by. Maybe she would have been asked to do something or to work while she was there.
I don't see anything wrong with her coworker taking them home and bringing them back unless she did so without asking your daughter first. I would be glad that they did not sit in an empty office to wilt. Perhaps the arrangement was smaller because she removed dead or dying flowers.
Do you know why your daughter didn't go back for the flowers?
We did not spend close to $100 for her friend to enjoy flowers.
At least someone enjoyed them. Personally, it wouldn't have bothered me if a friend took them home for the weekend. Friends do that sort of thing.
Your daughter chose not to go get them so she could enjoy them at home. So the friend enjoyed them. And brought them back. Yes. You're overreacting. (Sending flowers is always iffy. I used to send flowers but stopped. Several years ago I sent flowers to a friend. They were left on her front door step which isn't visible from the street. The friend goes into the house through the garage. The flowers sat, unnoticed, on the front door step for a week. Lesson learned. Send gift card.)
I would have taken the time to go by work and pick up flowers that someone had thoughtfully sent to me, but I don't expect everyone to be like me. Perhaps she has a valid reason for not going by her office. Maybe she told them she was unavailable during the day and it would be awkward to stop by. Maybe she would have been asked to do something or to work while she was there.
I don't see anything wrong with her coworker taking them home and bringing them back unless she did so without asking your daughter first. I would be glad that they did not sit in an empty office to wilt. Perhaps the arrangement was smaller because she removed dead or dying flowers.
Oh, and this part of the OP " It is obvious some of the flowers had been removed as it was not the really large arrangement we picked from a picture."
Probably not as obvious as you think. Actual arrangements rarely look like the website photo.
I have to agree with others, you cannot dictate how someone chooses to receive a gift. Ideally, the recipient will love your gift, and thank you appropriately.
I am sorry you are hurt by this. Its obvious you wanted to do something special for your daughter.
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