6 year old doesn't want to say bye at drop off school, why? (teenage, baby)
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please help if you have experience with this.
my 6 year old son is at 1st grade. lately after I drop him off at his classroom which all parents do at the school, my son doesn't want to say bye, or just says bye without much enthusiastic or emotion, like he doesn't really want to say it and gets very impatient with me. some other boys simply
give their mother hugs to say good bye and even though he sees that, every time he prefers to not say bye. the weird part is, he loves to see me when I come in the middle of the day to volunteer to help out with the class, he calls mommy very happily in front of the class.
he's the sweetest boy at home, says lovely words at home, this don't want
to say good bye thing only happens in the morning when I drop him off.
I asked him why, he says this female classmate always stares at him when my son tries to hug me. ok, isn't this too early to care about how others think? I thought
that happens after 3rd grade or something.
he also cares how his hat looks, like I sewed his name on the hat, and he insists on hiding the small name tag when wearing it.
I wanted to note that I'm not a bad looking mother and I don't embarrassed him at school~
should I be upset about it that he doesn't want to say bye or let it go and he'll pass this awkward stage? it is very heart broken after taking such good care of him, I don't even deserve a good bye hug, or just a "good" good bye when I drop him off school. *sad*
Kids go through phases of being embarassed by their parents. Different kids go through it at different times. When my oldest was in 1st grade he did not want me to say that I loved him in front of anyone else. It embarrassed him. We made up a phrase that meant I love you that nobody else knew. Problem solved.
Aah, just chalk it up to a phase for now. Try not to let it bother you, kids are well aware of what others think already in first grade.
My second grade son kissed me good bye one morning in class and this other boy who is a bit of a bully asked him teasingly, "why do you kiss your mom?",
right in front of me!
I didn't say anything to the bully kid at the time, but I gave the kid a laugh and my son shrugged it off.
After school my son asked my why the other kid asked that. (I admit it) I said, "Oh, wow, poor kid he doesn't get kisses from his mom? Wow, that is so sad. I feel bad for that guy"
Made my son feel lucky I guess since it hasn't stopped him from giving me a kiss now and then with a 'good' good bye.
But prior to that my son had his not so 'good' good byes last year in first grade. Meh. they change quite a bit those growing little buggers!
Nope, by 1st grade, they are definitely into trying to look cool in front of the other kids. There always seem to be 1 or 2 kids who start the "no hugs", "why do you call your mom Mommy" and "no Santa" thing. He may have gotten teased about it already.
Maybe you could tell your son, look I know you don't want to look like a baby in front of your friends, but in our family we greet each other hello and we say goodbye. Think of a way you could do this that would be "cool" for him, like high 5's or something.
Don't take it personally, as long as he is his same sweet self the rest of the time. He is just needing to establish a little bit of independence.
if the kids at this age care so much about how others think. what about later at teenage years, if they want to look cool and good smoking, or drinking...does that mean kids would want to follow that cool look and pick up those bad habit? this makes me think about the teenage years.
if the kids at this age care so much about how others think. what about later at teenage years, if they want to look cool and good smoking, or drinking...does that mean kids would want to follow that cool look and pick up those bad habit? this makes me think about the teenage years.
They change so much between 1st grade and the teen years. The same boy who did not want me to say I love you in front of his friends tells me that he loves me in front of his friends all the time now. Just enjoy your son.
Start dropping him off in front of school. Maybe he will give you a goodbye hug in the car. Yes, it is wrong for you to expect him to hug you in front of his classmates. You need to learn to let go. This is just a first step towards independence. It's not going to get any easier as he pulls away throughout the years. For both of your sakes, you need to learn how to let him pull away. Your sadness is not his issue. If you don't push him to continue with affections, this will just be a phase. If you push him to hug you when he doesn't want to, he'll resist forever.
Some people never say goodbye, it brings up too many emotions.
Try something like, "C ya later alligator" or "adios amigo" or something else witty & see if you can get a more lighthearted word than "GOODBYE"
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