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I thought this was so spot on, we have our traditions but this year we moved across the country from our 2 older children, due to new jobs they don't have the time off for Christmas this year, so my husband, myself and our 3 boys will continue with our traditions. Both of our older children have SO's so they will start their own traditions. It makes me sad to see this part of our life change but as you say "nothing stays the same forever."
True. But I've learned to LOVE new things. I even thought our traditions got boring once the kids grew up. We struggled to come up with "new traditions" but things kept changing so we finally embraced the tradition of something different all the time .
new families like to make their own traditions and sometimes older adults get upset about those changes. Each family should have the right to do things their own way and not feel guilty about trying something new.
I had saved boxes of ornaments for my children hoping they would really want them to preserve childhood memories. But they politely let me know thery want to start collecting their own ornaments and make new memories. I was sad at first but came to realize it was not a direct affront to me but rather a desire to make thir own family traditions.
I'm also impressed that your DD can live alone and prosper in NYC. You've obviously done a lot right. Don't let others make you question yourself. Paying for her airline ticket home for the holidays is a great thing to do.
Is there a less expensive option? Can she drive from NYC, or would that be even more costly?
I have a friend who can't afford to fly her daughter (in grad school) from Chicago to New England so she offered to buy her an Amtrak ticket. Would that work for you?
We can't afford airfare to visit our out-of-state parents for the holidays, but later this month we'll take a road trip, spending a week visiting three states so our kids can see their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. They understand this is what we can afford and that we only have enough time off from work and school to spend two days with each household.
Your daughter is an adult and capable of deciding how to spend her money and where to spend the holidays but offering to help her out financially will probably make her more eager to come home. Even if she can afford the airfare, she may want to or need to apply that money to something else like student loan debt or an upcoming vacation.
If she'll come if you pay, but won't if you don't, you're between a rock and a hard place. If she's just never thought of paying for it, you might bring it up when you're together. Such conversations are always better done face to face.
If this is the only way you "help" her, I think it's fine. We all seem to "help" our twentysomethings in some way.
Buy it! Let her come and visit and God bless all of you. Nobody can promise us a tomorrow with our loved ones. Be thankful you have the resources and you have her here to spoil a wee bit. I know there are posters here who have lost a child and would give their right arms to hug their prescious child one more time. I've not lost a child, thank God, but my parents are gone and the loss at the holidays is ENORMOUS!
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