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The post on bringing opposite sex kids in the bathroom and locker room with you got me thinking.
How comfortable were your parents in discussing sex with you? Did they also discuss changes you would experience when you hit puberty? My son is 7 and in a few years we're going to have to have the talk.
I was raised in a very prudish home. My mom and Dad (who passed away 22 years ago) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
She never told me about any of the changes I would experience as I became a woman. When I hit puberty I had no idea what was happening to me and I freaked out because I had no idea what periods were.
How did you grow up with regards to this subject and did it will it affect how you teach your children about sex?
The post on bringing opposite sex kids in the bathroom and locker room with you got me thinking.
How comfortable were your parents in discussing sex with you? Did they also discuss changes you would experience when you hit puberty? My son is 7 and in a few years we're going to have to have the talk.
I was raised in a very prudish home. My mom and Dad (who passed away 22 years ago) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
She never told me about any of the changes I would experience as I became a woman. When I hit puberty I had no idea what was happening to me and I freaked out because I had no idea what periods were.
How did you grow up with regards to this subject and did it will it affect how you teach your children about sex?
Nudity and sex were considered no really big deal in our family. Like my kids we got a basic sex talk at 5 and more detailed ones as we got closer to puberty. We were told sex means different things to different people....and it was okay if we had sex before marriage and with someone we didn't love....or with people of the same sex as long as we were safe. They showed us how to apply a condom and had them available in the house for us....and mom made sure to put the girls on bc and let us know to carry condoms too and be in control of the safe.
My household was about the same as yours. Repressed.
It was not easy to be otherwise for me, but I worked on it, and ultimately am very open with my children. I still am a believer in privacy and modesty, but not repression. It helped me to remember that biology is biology and you are a teacher, so be factual about things.
The post on bringing opposite sex kids in the bathroom and locker room with you got me thinking.
How comfortable were your parents in discussing sex with you? Did they also discuss changes you would experience when you hit puberty? My son is 7 and in a few years we're going to have to have the talk.
I was raised in a very prudish home. My mom and Dad (who passed away 22 years ago) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
She never told me about any of the changes I would experience as I became a woman. When I hit puberty I had no idea what was happening to me and I freaked out because I had no idea what periods were.
How did you grow up with regards to this subject and did it will it affect how you teach your children about sex?
I don't really remember when or how I learned the basics. I do not remember my parents talking about sex to me but they were anything but prude people.
I don't remember when I began talking to my boys but I do. On every subject from the fact that a lot of diseases don't go away to the fact that you never take a girls word that she uses b/c and you ALWAYS protect yourself, no matter what. I also felt it was important to talk to them about how sex and pregnancy can impact the rest of a girls life and why they should care about that and how you are forever linked to another person if you have a baby with them. We've also discussed abortion to a lesser degree if the topic came up.
I'm not shy about it. My older son is more open to discussion and my younger more shy so and less likely to talk but he hears it so I hope it makes a difference.
We can't expect kids to make good decisions without first being armed with the facts.
My parents talked about sex but they didn't talk about how great it was, or how their orgasms felt or that it was a good idea to have sex with people who don't care about you or that you don't care about. They believed sex was about responsibility, waiting for the right person which meant marriage because children which can result from sex require two parents and a lifetime committment between the parents.
My dad even had this quaint notion that his sons shouldn't just use girls to get off, he would say that if you don't plan to stick around for the next twenty years helping to raise your child with a woman, then you're just using the woman and it's wrong to use someone. He also said flat out that he believed in shotgun weddings. He also warned about child support - and if you don't love someone enough to want to give up a quarter of your paycheck for 18 years, then keep it zipped.
My mom was more clinical - more biological about sex. The way a baby begins but also she got into the sexual "urges" and advised not to start something you shouldn't finish. She got the books that showed the anatomy but she was also prudish in not wanting to talk about her own sexual exploits as she considered it a very private act between a loving couple - and to this day none of us discusses our sex lives with our parents. My dad also believed it was a private act and didn't discuss it on a personal level so I guess they would be called prudes.
I got a book when I was about 8 and that was it. I am 29 now and as far as I am concerned my parents can still think I'm a virgin I lived with my mom until I was 16 and I didn't talk to her about anything. When I was 16 I moved in with my Dad, he probably knew about stuff, but we still didn't talk about. However, I was a very independant child. I made a Dr appt. when I was 17 and got on birth control all by myself! Even after that I still always used condoms
My parents talked about sex but they didn't talk about how great it was, or how their orgasms felt
Great dinner table talk though huh? "Hey kid pass the mash poatoes would ya?" "and man your mom and i had some hot sex last night with some great orgasms".
I got a book about puberty after I had my period. I was 11 it was a little unexpected to me. I will always remember it was like 10 oclock at night and she had to run out to wallgreens.
As for sex I always have talked to my mom about sex. Starting from when I was little and I tried to kiss my mom like I saw on tv. She told me that that kind of kissing was special for boys you love when you are older. TV brought up a lot of teachable moments. I remember when I was about 21 and I saw an uncircumcised penis I called me my mom up to ask her what the deal with that was! (I never had any brothers so a lot of things about boys are foreign to me)
The post on bringing opposite sex kids in the bathroom and locker room with you got me thinking.
How comfortable were your parents in discussing sex with you? Did they also discuss changes you would experience when you hit puberty? My son is 7 and in a few years we're going to have to have the talk.
I was raised in a very prudish home. My mom and Dad (who passed away 22 years ago) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
She never told me about any of the changes I would experience as I became a woman. When I hit puberty I had no idea what was happening to me and I freaked out because I had no idea what periods were.
How did you grow up with regards to this subject and did it will it affect how you teach your children about sex?
I was raised in a healthy atmosphere. My parents didn't run around the house naked, but if we happened to see them naked in passing it was no big deal. When my brother and I were little we saw each other naked. As we got older we naturally (not at our parents insistence) became more modest about our bodies. But again, if we happened to see each other naked by chance it was not big deal.
As far as sex, all of our questions were answered when they came up. My parents never lied to us about where babies came from and I was aware of what was happening when I got my period.
With reference to my red, underlined text above I would like to say that the sexual education of a child is not "the talk". It is not one big information dump that happens on some random day in a child's life. A child does not need all the information about sex on one day of his life. It's to much and not enough at the same time.
Sexual education should happen as the child grow up, becomes curious and asks questions. When a 5 year old asks where babies come from you tell him in an age appropriate manner. When he is 7 he may have more questions. When he is 10, yet more questions. You need to give him TRUTHFUL, AGE APPROPRIATE answers at any age.
IMO there is no "TALK" that will do it. It needs to be a process.
Let's see... my father passed away when I was 8- my mother met & remarried someone shortly afterward...very shortly after- who was 19yrs younger than her- The guy was actually a year younger than my oldest sister. He is a a total slob who takes advantage of her and is so disgusting- He has literally torn the family apart
I never saw my mother hug kiss or hold hands with my real father. Hell, she didn't even love him and only married him because she was pregnant with me and my brother. That fact was made aware to me for as long as I could remember. My father on the other hand truly cared about her, well, at least at one point. He always tried to win her over but never could.
So, I grew up being a cold hearted biotch who shut myself out from everyone. I didn't have sex for the first time until 2 wks after 18th birthday and it was with someone who didn't give a crap about me although we had just broken up a few months earlier after dating for something a little over a year & half. I was stupid thinking I could use sex to win someone back or that that someone would actually be interested in me after giving him what he only wanted in the first place.
So, after holding sex for that long and giving it up the way I did, I then became a different person and put no value on sex. It was easier for me to have sex with someone than it was to kiss them or let them into who I truly was as a person. It totally screwed me up for a long time. My whole idea on love and sex was that you never mixed the two because you would be in a world of heartbreak if you did. Totally doesn't make sense I know, but that is what I got out of my whole upbringing somehow
So..what is the point of all of this? Well, now I have a 3yr old of my own and have no idea how I am going to talk to him about sex and when the right time is and how to talk to him about not toying with peoples emotions. I mean, how do you even have that kind of conversation with children and even get some of it to stick anyway?
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) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
I lived with my mom until I was 16 and I didn't talk to her about anything. When I was 16 I moved in with my Dad, he probably knew about stuff, but we still didn't talk about. However, I was a very independant child. I made a Dr appt. when I was 17 and got on birth control all by myself! Even after that I still always used condoms 
