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Okay, this is probably a really stupid question but what is 1, 2, 3 Magic?
I have used the 1, 2, 3 Magic on my son from age 5 to currently which is age 7. At first I thought it was really silly but it does seem to work. And it works in all different situations, store, school, home, etc. If I remember right, I probably need to relook at the book. But when the kid is misbehaving, you say 1, if they straighten up then you stop counting, if not, then you say 2, if they still keep it up, you say 3 and then they go to time out(for us they always told us a minute per year of childs age). You are not supposed to argue or talk to them in between the counting. And for whatever reason it seems to work. At first our son would get to three or try to count with us, so there were a lot of time outs but now when we do he straightens up pretty quick.
I haven't read the book, so I don't know the method specifically. But we have tried the "You have until I count to 3 or else you get a time out" thing. The problem was that she wouldn't do anything if I didn't count, and even then she'd wait until I got to 2. We decided to stop counting and just have her listen the first time or else she gets time out.
Is the concept to do counting?
I just have a tough time w/ that concept as I feel it puts the power w/ the child & after awhile, it becomes a game to them.
What if time outs do not work for your child? What happens after 3?
Haven't read the book so I'm not going to say it is wrong but not sure I'd read it if the focus is counting.
Mom says, "Ooonnne. Martha!" You're acting up and ignoring Mom.
Mom says, "Twwooo. Martha Mary!!" She's got your attention but you keep acting up.
Mom says, "Three! Martha Mary Fitzpatrick!!!"
By the time they got to three you knew you were in big trouble and Dad was going to hear about it when he got home from work.
I get this...but, why should it even involve the parent who is not there? The parent who is there is the one who needs for the children to understand that when they mean business, they mean business.
It is very easy to say: "Do you want Daddy to hear about this when he gets home?" in order to get the behavior to stop. But, it also is pushing things onto the parent who is not even there to begin w/ & leaves an open door to the child.
I try very hard not to do this as I want my boys to respect my authority as much as their fathers.
Instead, I say a lot of "Daddy sure is going to have a warm heart when he hears what a great boy you've been today" or something of that nature.
For my 5yr old, there is one warning; sometimes none. That is it. He is beyond aware what he is doing & doesn't need 3 times to get a chance to improve/stop/make changes.
I get this...but, why should it even involve the parent who is not there? The parent who is there is the one who needs for the children to understand that when they mean business, they mean business.
It is very easy to say: "Do you want Daddy to hear about this when he gets home?" in order to get the behavior to stop. But, it also is pushing things onto the parent who is not even there to begin w/ & leaves an open door to the child.
I try very hard not to do this as I want my boys to respect my authority as much as their fathers.
Instead, I say a lot of "Daddy sure is going to have a warm heart when he hears what a great boy you've been today" or something of that nature.
For my 5yr old, there is one warning; sometimes none. That is it. He is beyond aware what he is doing & doesn't need 3 times to get a chance to improve/stop/make changes.
Nothing got "pushed onto the parent who is not even there". You got "it" twice. Once from Mom who was more than capable of lowering the boom all by herself. Then you got "it" again when Dad got home. If Dad got involved you knew you had crossed a line that you should never have even approached.
Personally I worked very hard to insure my mother never called me by my full name. First because I knew my mother was going to discipline me and it wasn't going to be fun. And second because, even as a kid, I loved and respected my dad so much I didn't want to disappoint him by acting like a dope and getting into serious trouble.
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