Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks for the advice!
yes, I always have those conversations with both of my children after school.
How was school, did you have fun ? ,what did you do,etc....
My younger one (the one I posted about) says she LOVES school & tells me everything that goes on. Doesn't sound like there are any issues at all.
She goes to school happily and is happy when she comes home. It is that evening time (and sometimes other times as well) that I know she is probably tired , that this is happening most of the time. As I said in my earlier post, it is sometimes the morning too, but it has nothing to do with not wanting to go to school, at least not that we can tell.
I do strongly believe a big part of it is just being tired.
However, if I let her take a nap after school (they get home close to 4pm), she is miserable when she wakes up and then it is hard getting her to bed at night, a never ending cycle.
We are working on the yelling, and I have now been giving her choices. This week so far, the tantrums have been minimal and she seems pleased that she is getting asked "what would you like to wear?" instead of me picking out her clothes,etc... so we shall see what happens.
As for the tomboy issues, as I also stated, it isn't a huge concern, I believe that when I wrote my OP, that I was extremely frustrated with her behavior at the time and the tomboy thing is just was adding to it.
I honestly don't concentrate on it too much, I would love to see her play w/little girls, but I am not overly concerned.
She LOVES to watch football with her daddy, she plays soccer & wants to play Lacrosse (yikes..) we will continue to encourage her interest in sports if that is what she would like.
She has said she doesn't want to dance any longer, so we are not forcing that issue.
Thanks again everyone for the helpful advice!
Lacrosse is a great sport for girls. I am a big girl's lacrosse fan. Girl's lacrosse is not as rough as boy's lacrosse. It combines fitness and toughness. GREAT for girls who are feminine and athletic at the same time. I wish it had been available for me. I played soccer but lacrosse would have been a blast.
Okay. i don't think some people get it, my daughter is just like this to. Putting them to bed at 7, they get enough sleep. Telling them to go to their room, yeah impossible. Putting them in their room ends up in hours long battle of kicking screaming and no results but everyone getting more frustrated. The whole time out, yeah fat chance that is a joke. I've been where you're at.
Took my daughter to a psychologist. They said she has Bi-polar. I tried EVERY route that did NOT involve meds, behavior therapy, counsling, new activites. Nothing. worked.
We got her on meds & it's a whole different child, the crazy violent fits, gone. She's still the same happy go lucky bubbly child, not drugged up. Just balanced out. && We had to cut out ANY and ALL red dye & sugar from the diet.
I'm sorry, and I kNOW how you feel rite about now. Just hang in there.
One issue I had with one of my sons, was he had a "central processing disorder", which means he may have "heard" what I said, but just did not follow thru, because of all the other stimuli.
So, treat this like a severe disability, which it is, and a child like this needs special care.
Go find her, turn off the tv, or whatever activity she is doing, and physically transition her to tHe next activity, "okay, it is time to wash hands for dinner, do you want to do it in your bathroom or at the kitchen sink?". Everything needs to be direct, with no other stimuli going on. Every request is like this, to prevent meltdowns, and yelling.
As for being a "tom boy", she is wired that way. I had a son who hated "boy" games, he was always playing dolls with girls. He hated getting dirty. Just let them figure it out.
Okay. i don't think some people get it, my daughter is just like this to. Putting them to bed at 7, they get enough sleep. Telling them to go to their room, yeah impossible. Putting them in their room ends up in hours long battle of kicking screaming and no results but everyone getting more frustrated. The whole time out, yeah fat chance that is a joke. I've been where you're at.
Took my daughter to a psychologist. They said she has Bi-polar. I tried EVERY route that did NOT involve meds, behavior therapy, counsling, new activites. Nothing. worked.
We got her on meds & it's a whole different child, the crazy violent fits, gone. She's still the same happy go lucky bubbly child, not drugged up. Just balanced out. && We had to cut out ANY and ALL red dye & sugar from the diet.
I'm sorry, and I kNOW how you feel rite about now. Just hang in there.
Good for you for being an advocate for your daughter! I can relate to being told I was doing time outs wrong, not using effective discipline, etc. Turns out my son has sensory processing disorder and asperger's like behaviors. No type or amount or type of discipline would have helped. Occupation therapy has helped a lot, though. Never stop looking for answers!
I have come to this forumn many times before and found that sometimes the advice is ,well, really not advice at all, but more criticism than anything.
I don't live near family or friends so am just at a loss right now.
We have a 5 year old who just started Kindergarten. For the most part, she is a very loving,caring & happy child. Unfortunately though, she has a terrible time listening to anything that is asked of her by both my husband & I.
The least little thing can turn into a huge tantrum and they are getting more frequent since school has started.
I am sure part of it is the adjustment to school, the long days & being tired when she gets home. Unfortunately though, it ruins our evenings & most of the mornings as well.
As I type, she is upstairs in her room screaming,yelling,kicking in her room because we asked her to wash her hands before dinner. The same exact thing happened on Friday evening and this morning as well.
She was brought to school still with a red face from all her crying & carrying on before school.
We have another daughter who it is affecting as well, she is tired of the tantrums, and hearing her dad & I yell all the time. It is causing alot of strain & stress that isn't needed.
I am guessing that if you were to read the book above, you would see yourself clearly in your family dance.
Quote:
We have tried pretty much everything, taking things away, not allowing tv ,no snacks,no playground after school, that type of thing. She has been sent to her room countless number of times with many heart to heart talks, but nothing seems to work.
We will not spank her. Not an option for us.
I highly recommend the above book for limit setting techniques that do no engender resentment, are effective and are definitely positive. Spanking is not on the table, quite the opposite.
Quote:
I am also concerned because she is somewhat of a "tomboy" and only wants to play with the boys at school. This is continued on from preschool where for the most part, her only friends' were boys. She goes around the house imitating the boys playing w/guns ,monsters,etc...
That's bad?
Quote:
I can't stand it. I know that this behavior is probably causing the little girls to stray away from her during school and it breaks my heart.
My daughter is a good girl, she isn't mean to people but I am worried about her behavior and am just looking for any helpful advice anyone may have.
Ok I am going to very gently suggest that this last one is YOUR problem not hers. Part of being a parent is accepting your children THE WAY THEY ARE and loving them unconditionally as you get them. It is hard to raise children with healthy and positive self esteem elsewise.
Another good recommendation that everyone on this board is sick of my posting is:
I suppose someone does a search, finds a thread, then responds to it instead of starting their own.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
