HELP!!!! How to manage newborn and toddler (play, 2 yr old, husband)
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The nine year old is old enough to be helping out with the household chores and with the toddler. Employ his/her help now along with that of your spouse. Teamwork!
Been there done that~~~breastfeeding and all!!! First thing a baby swing can be your best friend. Try and get the infant and the 2 1/2 yr. old on the same napping schedule. This will take some time but will be worth it. Do not sleep with your baby!!!! You will bond as you breastfeed and by holding the infant. Housework will always be there. Laundry and cooking are your main goals. Keep control of your other kids so your not losing your mind completely. Nap when the kids are naping. As far as your husband goes, your tired!!! He can help you with the kids, cooking, and doing laundry!!! Do your shopping on the weekends when he's home, taking the older child with you so you have one on one time with him. But find time to spend as a family, this is so important. The older children need to hold, talk and play with there new younger sibling so no jealous feelings will arise. It might happen anyway, just try to spend time with your 2 1/2 yr. old while the infant is in the swing and involve her in the care of the infant, she or he will love this. Your 9 year old can also help you with doing odd jobs around the house using a reward system, not necessarily giving an allowance but maybe an ice cream for so many chores done, watching his favorite tv show, staying up a little bit longer on a weekend night, etc. reward systems always work. I wish you the best of luck. Enjoy them now, it goes by way to fast, I know first hand!! Congrats on the newbie
I need some advice. I have a 1 month old, 2 1/2 year old and a 9 year old and I can seem to get organized enough to cook dinner most days, clean the house and get things done. I also started off breastfeeding but ds is a BIG eater and it was not satisfying him. My plan was to supplement with breastmilk by pumping but I can't seem to find time in my day to do that either. I'm up with ds all night and by morning I'm exhausted but I try to get it together enough to get the 9 year old off to school and spend some time with my toddler.
I need some advice on how to get things done and how to fit in pumping. My husband works long hours and is gone from 4am - 6pm so when he comes home he is exhausted but he tries to play with the kids and take the baby so I can get some things done. Sleeping when the baby sleeps doesn't always work because my toddler is not always taking a nap at that time. Also, I try to get a few things done when they are both sleeping. Any advice is appreciated.
OK-I had three kids in 5 years. It's hard when they are small.
Is there ANY WAY you could hire someone for a few hours every other day to help you? ANY WAY? If that could happen you could shop one day, and get some housework done one day and maybe sneak out by yourself for a cup of decaf coffee at the same time.
The house needs to be sanitary, not perfect. The older one can help with laundry. When my oldest was 5 he was able to SORT the laundry for me so that when I went to put in a load it just took a few seconds to get it going.
Do you have gates in any of your doorways? I used gates to keep the little one in the room with me when I was nursing. It was less stressful than wondering if he was off killing himself.
TV is not evil. Let the toddler watch tv while the little one naps. Put a gate on the door, toddler proof your room and REST. A little dust never killed anyone.
And lastly, enjoy your children. Although it is hard when you have multiple small children, please take some time to enjoy them. THey are wonderful.
I had neighbors once who had this poem framed and hung on their living room wall, to remind themselves and anyone dropping by:
Cleaning and Sweeping can wait for Tomorrow
Babies grow up we've learned to our Sorrow
So Settle down Cobwebs, Dust go to Sleep
I'm Rocking my Baby and Babies don't Keep.
The newborn won't be a newborn after a couple more months and will be better able to entertain himself so just prioritize and relax. The housework will wait for you to get around to it. If some things don't get done, they don't get done.
Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. I am definitely putting them to use. I focus on making sure the kitchen is clean and my husband is helping with laundry. I will put my toddler in mom's morning out M,W,F for a few hours at a local church - great idea!!!! That way I can sleep when the baby is sleeping and catch up on cooking or cleaning. The baby does not like the swing yet, but I put him in it everyday to get him use to it. Doesn't like the bouncer yet either. But he does like the bjorn carrier so I use that when he is fussy to free up my hands. I like a clean house but I am learning not to worry about it. My 9 year old has chores and vacuums in the main traffic areas once a week so that's a big help. Most importantly, I have learned that I can't do everything right now and that's ok. I do want to enjoy my kids because I know how fast they grow.
A baby carrier is awesome. You can put baby in there and go about your other business and baby will stay happy. Mine would fall asleep in there and I would just go about my other activities with my toddler while she slept. You can't in the bjorn, but you could use a different style of carrier and learn to put the baby on your back, which allows you to do more things, like cook or wash the dishes. I also sent my toddler to daycare twice per week so I had the baby alone those days. I think sleeping with the baby (if you are able to breastfeed) is great and saves a lot of sanity. I could lay down in the middle between my toddler and my baby at my toddler's nap time, and the baby would nurse and we would all sleep. I also slept with the baby all night long (in our own bed) and let her nurse as she pleased, which allowed me to sleep essentially all night long only having to wake briefly to switch her to the other side occasionally. There was a study recently that showed that breastfeeding and bedsharing moms of newborns got like an hour more sleep per night as opposed to moms who were only breastfeeding, only bedsharing, or neither. That felt true for me - I highly recommend it!
Have you tried the swing without the swinging? Both my boys loved the swing, but hated the swinging part! Strange, but true.
I remember being so tired that I started mumbling in my sleep. I would wake my husband up on his nights off (3rd shifter), serves him right for all his snoring! lol My guys are 13 months apart, so I totally feel for you. It does get easier, and all the suggestions given are really good ones.
There are a lot of things out there that work for "entertainment". I'm also one who doesn't scoff at watching TV. If you have netflix, they have a lot of PBS shows available. Then there are ones you can buy with ABC's, 123's, sign language, shapes, colors, singing songs, etc... it doesn't have to be pointless entertainment, and it's a lot more fun for them if you sit down and join in.
Letting your toddler help you with dishes can also be a lot of fun. When we lived closer to my Mom, sometimes our oldest would go over and just play in her sink. Absolutely loved it. If you let them at your home it gives you time to clean up around the rest of the kitchen too.
I had neighbors once who had this poem framed and hung on their living room wall, to remind themselves and anyone dropping by:
Cleaning and Sweeping can wait for Tomorrow
Babies grow up we've learned to our Sorrow
So Settle down Cobwebs, Dust go to Sleep
I'm Rocking my Baby and Babies don't Keep.
The newborn won't be a newborn after a couple more months and will be better able to entertain himself so just prioritize and relax. The housework will wait for you to get around to it. If some things don't get done, they don't get done.
I had that up in the babies room as well.
On the fridge I had a small one that said, A perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life. It was my daily reminder to prioritize....not an excuse to keep a messy house. LOL
Once my kids were the run round and noisy age I found a little plaque that I hung in the hall in the foyer. Please excuse the noise and the mess, my kids are busy making memories.
You've gotten such good suggestions. All I would add is to keep to a strict schedule as best you can for meals, naps, playtime (write it down), but nap at any opportunity, and get the kids to bed early. We all went through these frantic times and lived through it, but believe me, they are all too fleeting, so savor them because you will miss them one day.
Don't forget to schedule weekly me time and date night with DH.
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