Should I let my DD play with these neighbor kids?(homeschool (SAHM, toys)
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Okay, we moved to this neighborhood and back to our hometown (pop 7k) in a rural area 2 yrs ago - actually into this house 1 yr ago. I have a 4y.o. and 5month old daughters. There aren't alot of kids in the neighborhood but a family moved in 2 doors down 2 month ago and they have 5 boys, including a 5y.o. who my DD really hit it off with. Pretty much every day she wants to go over to play, they have a trampoline and more toys - so she wants to go over there.
These people are very friendly, i'm not saying anything bad about them. Reality is they are very christian conservative, the wife is a supermom, SAHM who has a really big garden, ect and they homeschool. anytime I talk to her she basically says she is really busy setting up the school room and getting everything ready for school - pretty much all she talks about, and the garden, oh and her house is perfect.
A couple times the 5.y.o. and 10 y.o. came over to my house and last week and he started looking at my hubby's dvd's and he told me 'um i cant watch these movies' when he saw the simpson dvd's......he hasnt been back.
My issue is I am nowhere near this conservative, I am a working mom and yes I struggle, my house is a mess....my DH and I are republicans - we would go to church more often if we could but we are shift workers and usually one of us is working on the weekends, you get the picture.
I dont' want to offend them or otherwise step on their toes - which i feel I or my DD may do unknowingly, I just get the feeling they have very idealistic beliefs and values.
I also am on edge b/c I was homeschooled as a kid....my mom was very 'careful' about who we associated with and she prefered we only associate w/other homeschooled kids.
How do I know i am not stepping on toes - to what degree should my DD be playing w/ their kids? Any thoughts?
Actually, maybe she should teach her child to respect others when in their home. If she is that sensitive that she won't let her child come over to your house because he saw Simpson's DVD's, then you are probably in a no win situation.
Obviously having him watch the dvd at your house wouldn't be appropriate if he says he's not allowed.
When your daughter is in their home, she should be respectful of how they do things, and when he is in your home he should be respectful of how you do things. I would not walk on eggshells around them.
My sister in law is ultra conservative, homeschools, etc. When they visit here, I don't change our lifestyle to fit them. They have to go with the flow. When we visit there, same thing. We live extremely different lives. But I have to respect their choices when there. Doesn't always work the other way when they are here though. They tend to think we need to live like them while they visit for some reason.....
Okay, we moved to this neighborhood and back to our hometown (pop 7k) in a rural area 2 yrs ago - actually into this house 1 yr ago. I have a 4y.o. and 5month old daughters. There aren't alot of kids in the neighborhood but a family moved in 2 doors down 2 month ago and they have 5 boys, including a 5y.o. who my DD really hit it off with. Pretty much every day she wants to go over to play, they have a trampoline and more toys - so she wants to go over there.
These people are very friendly, i'm not saying anything bad about them. Reality is they are very christian conservative, the wife is a supermom, SAHM who has a really big garden, ect and they homeschool. anytime I talk to her she basically says she is really busy setting up the school room and getting everything ready for school - pretty much all she talks about, and the garden, oh and her house is perfect.
A couple times the 5.y.o. and 10 y.o. came over to my house and last week and he started looking at my hubby's dvd's and he told me 'um i cant watch these movies' when he saw the simpson dvd's......he hasnt been back.
My issue is I am nowhere near this conservative, I am a working mom and yes I struggle, my house is a mess....my DH and I are republicans - we would go to church more often if we could but we are shift workers and usually one of us is working on the weekends, you get the picture.
I dont' want to offend them or otherwise step on their toes - which i feel I or my DD may do unknowingly, I just get the feeling they have very idealistic beliefs and values.
I also am on edge b/c I was homeschooled as a kid....my mom was very 'careful' about who we associated with and she prefered we only associate w/other homeschooled kids.
How do I know i am not stepping on toes - to what degree should my DD be playing w/ their kids? Any thoughts?
I homeschooled my kids for a few years and I let me kids play with anyone homeschooled or not but there definitely was a view among homeschoolers that "schooled" kids were not the best choice to play with and homeschooled kids were the best. Also there was a huge contingent of folks who homeschooled for religious reasons and they were very conservative. I don't think you can completely avoid stepping on toes because they are homeschooling specifically to keep their kids away from influences that they deem unchristian.
Personally my kids learned the hard way and were hurt when a Christian homeschool neighbor deemed they weren't the right sort and told her child he was not allowed to play with them. it was cruel and it hurt them in a huge way.
Since the other family is the more conservative of the 2 families, it seems like maybe they should be the ones to make that decision. Of course, it is up to you too, but what, exactly is your hesitation? Are you concerned about their beliefs rubbing off on your kids, or your beliefs rubbing off on theirs.
I am a democrat and, except in certain circumstances, I don't like the idea of homeschooling, but even I think I'd let my kids play with them. I think it is fine for kids to see how other families function, as long as they know what OUR family values are at the end of the day.
You are going to run into all kinds of people who are different than you while your kids grow up. And so are they. Learning to get along with people and accept their differences is a valuable thing. I don't think you should "not allow" them to play with kids who have a different background from you. Nor do I think you should change who you are to be more acceptable to them. Invite them to play at your house, if they don't come they don't come...you can't control their actions but unless you fear for your child's safety, I don't see any reason to not allow them to play together.
Also there was a huge contingent of folks who homeschooled for religious reasons and they were very conservative. I don't think you can completely avoid stepping on toes because they are homeschooling specifically to keep their kids away from influences that they deem unchristian.
That's pretty much my sister in law..... you are right, in that situation, you can't avoid stepping on toes no matter how hard you try. We are the black sheep of the family. I think we end up smashing toes, but not purposefully.
You are going to run into all kinds of people who are different than you while your kids grow up. And so are they. Learning to get along with people and accept their differences is a valuable thing. I don't think you should "not allow" them to play with kids who have a different background from you. Nor do I think you should change who you are to be more acceptable to them. Invite them to play at your house, if they don't come they don't come...you can't control their actions but unless you fear for your child's safety, I don't see any reason to not allow them to play together.
Okay, we moved to this neighborhood and back to our hometown (pop 7k) in a rural area 2 yrs ago - actually into this house 1 yr ago. I have a 4y.o. and 5month old daughters. There aren't alot of kids in the neighborhood but a family moved in 2 doors down 2 month ago and they have 5 boys, including a 5y.o. who my DD really hit it off with. Pretty much every day she wants to go over to play, they have a trampoline and more toys - so she wants to go over there.
These people are very friendly, i'm not saying anything bad about them. Reality is they are very christian conservative, the wife is a supermom, SAHM who has a really big garden, ect and they homeschool. anytime I talk to her she basically says she is really busy setting up the school room and getting everything ready for school - pretty much all she talks about, and the garden, oh and her house is perfect.
A couple times the 5.y.o. and 10 y.o. came over to my house and last week and he started looking at my hubby's dvd's and he told me 'um i cant watch these movies' when he saw the simpson dvd's......he hasnt been back.
My issue is I am nowhere near this conservative, I am a working mom and yes I struggle, my house is a mess....my DH and I are republicans - we would go to church more often if we could but we are shift workers and usually one of us is working on the weekends, you get the picture.
I dont' want to offend them or otherwise step on their toes - which i feel I or my DD may do unknowingly, I just get the feeling they have very idealistic beliefs and values.
I also am on edge b/c I was homeschooled as a kid....my mom was very 'careful' about who we associated with and she prefered we only associate w/other homeschooled kids.
How do I know i am not stepping on toes - to what degree should my DD be playing w/ their kids? Any thoughts?
You are going to run into all kinds of people who are different than you while your kids grow up. And so are they. Learning to get along with people and accept their differences is a valuable thing. I don't think you should "not allow" them to play with kids who have a different background from you. Nor do I think you should change who you are to be more acceptable to them. Invite them to play at your house, if they don't come they don't come...you can't control their actions but unless you fear for your child's safety, I don't see any reason to not allow them to play together.
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
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What maciesmom said. Besides, they're kids! Let 'em play!
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