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I grew up in another country and am not sure what I should do in this situation, your suggestions/advices are welcomed.
We live in a community with a lot of kids. Naturally,the kids form groups base on age/parents' relationship etc. I work full time and my kid goes to a full-day care, as a result, we don't spend much time outside after the long days and don't have close relationships with most neighbors. Today neighbor's kids (brother (8 yr-old)/sister(5 yr-old) and their friends from other community) played with my playset in my yard (without asking me first to start with) Nonetheless I encouraged my son who is 5 and on the shy side to go outside and join them. All seemed alright at first, then they started to shoo him away, my son was still excited to play with them and was trying to start conversations without much responses. Then those kids went back to their house, my son followed them and they won't let him in the house. My son's feelings were hurt and I am not sure what's the best way to comfort him. I told him he could play with another neighbor's kid who is much nicer and around my son's age but my son insisted that he loved to play with these kids today. It was so sad to see him wander outside neighbor's door waiting for those kids to come out. i know there's no way to block mean kids, how can I teach my son to be stronger?
It's a tough one. In a previous neighborhood we had a lot of kids but none of the boys were my son's age, and only one girl was. The boys always treated my son like a baby and wouldn't play with him. He didn't want to play dress up with the girls. He was always so sad that the boys wouldn't let him play.
I just "imported" friends for my son. I arranged a play date every weekend for a few hours and any day that I had off of work and could spend a few hours entertaining another child. It worked out well because those kids parents would also invite my son over and it would give me a few hours of alone time.
I would ask the neighbor parents to please not allow their kids to play on your swing set without permission. Tell them it's just a liability thing. If they ask for permission, tell them that they are welcomed to play on your swing set if they will allow your son to play as well. Force yourself to get out more and meet the neighbors. As you get to know them better it will help your son.
whoa! why are these kids using your yard without your permission and to top it off, wont let the owner of the play set (your son) in on the fun??
these parents need to be told what is going on. i know they would not appreciate someone doing that to them.
You need to set the parents straight about them using your playset w/o your knowledge or permission NOW. Summertime is coming and I assume you'll be working all summer and no one will be home. If one of them get hurt, guess whose insurance is going to be responsible?
I know you're busy with work and stuff but maybe now with the nicer weather, you can get to know some of your neighbors, invite them over, etc. It would be great for your son to have friends to play with on the block.
I agree with what has been posted so far and I wanted to add: I do not let my child play with older kids. He can only play with kids his own age. I mostly arrange playdates for him b/c I have a 12 year old son who has friends over and even then, my 7 yo. is not allowed to hang around with his brother and his friends. Trust me you don't want your 5 y.o. playing with an 8 y.o. kid.
1.) It is totally unacceptable those kids played in your yard without your permission - where's their parents? Next time they are in your yard, I would ask them that, and talk to the parents. Introduce yourself and your son, say that you'd like to get to know your neighbors better, and let them know those kids need to ask permission as it is your yard.
2.) A 5 year old boy probably isn't going to have much fun with a 5 year old girl and the 8 year old probably sees your son as a "baby" because of the age difference
I would focus more on arranging playdates with kids from daycare.
Kids can figure out how to play without parents getting involved. Or, at least, they used to.
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It was so sad to see him wander outside neighbor's door waiting for those kids to come out. i know there's no way to block mean kids, how can I teach my son to be stronger?
