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The reason why I ask this question is because I am generally a quiet guy. So I have a tendency to pay attention more so than others who are yapping.
If some walks up to me and starts sharing a story of some sort with me I try my hardest not to interject "me" into the conversation. I cannot stand when someone does that. Sometimes we need to shut up and humble ourselves and let other people have their "15 minutes of fame". You just might learn something if you stop focusing on "me" when it's not about "you".
We don't always have to talk about ourselves or try to "one up" the person you're talking to. After all, they are talking about them, so let them.
Do you talk about yourself or do you listen ? Be honest!!!
The reason why I ask this question is because I am generally a quiet guy. So I have a tendency to pay attention more so than others who are yapping.
If some walks up to me and starts sharing a story of some sort with me I try my hardest not to interject "me" into the conversation. I cannot stand when someone does that. Sometimes we need to shut up and humble ourselves and let other people have their "15 minutes of fame". You just might learn something if you stop focusing on "me" when it's not about "you".
We don't always have to talk about ourselves or try to "one up" the person you're talking to. After all, they are talking about them, so let them.
Do you talk about yourself or do you listen ? Be honest!!!
I listen to others but if I have a related story even if it includes me I may share it, most of the time if I'm talking about me it's probably about me doing something stupid.
Location: land of quail, bunnies, and red tail hawks
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In the real world, I usually only talk about myself when interacting with my immediate family. My childhood was vastly different from my daughter's, so she likes to hear the stories, plus it gives her a glimpse into why I do some things or hold certain opinions. I like to think that, as a family, we have a nice balance of talking and listening.
It seems the format of many internet forums encourages people to talk about themselves. That's how we get to know one another. To some extent, the same holds true in real life, although actions can speak louder than words. By and large, I prefer to let my actions speak for me so I tend to be quiet. Since I live in a very small, isolated town, the only way to maintain some semblance of privacy is to keep quiet about myself. At some point, too much familiarity really can breed contempt.
I take great pleasure in listening to others as long as they're not totally self-centered. It's an honor to give them "15 minutes of fame," and I'm privileged they value my company enough to share themselves with me.
In rl (outside home and family) I am more of a listener..I always have been..I enjoy people and enjoy hearing them talk about their families, their hopes and dreams and sometimes I just listen because they may need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on for support...
If the person is a gossiper, troublemaker, or wants to change my beliefs, I just pretend to be scratching my ears as I remove both hearing aids and continue to smile now and then as I watch their mouth move
I don't talk much in real life. And I also don't care for people who can't stop yapping. Just shutup already, nobody cares about what your cat did yesterday or what your MySpace looks like.
You asked for honesty, and this is how I learned to shut up and listen to people rather than go on about myself.
This is a conversation I had years ago with the new wife of my brother in law:
Me: "so when do you want to have kids"
Her: "maybe now"
Me: "Well, we (me and my husband) are thinking of waiting until later, we just can't afford a baby right now, we still have to move two more times before my husband finishes school, blah, blah, blah....."
Later, I found out my sister in law was pregnant.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Suddenly I remembered our conversation and the "maybe now" comment echoed in my head. If I wasn't so busy blabbering on about my own plans, I might have understood what she was getting at. Even if there was a language barrier. (which is what I had originally chalked up her short answer to, I thought they were "trying" right now, not "having a baby" right now.) I missed an opportunity to gain her confidence and apparently she wasn't that keen on sharing her news if I just wasn't getting the message. Well, she probably couldn't get a word in edgewise, thinking back.
Ever since then, I have been much more conscientious of interrupting people with stories about "me", no matter how relevant to the conversation they are. I just wait till the other person is done, and say, since you mentioned XXX, the same thing happened to me or whatever.
I will admit, I do talk about myself though, because as far as I am concerned, if you don't ever talk about yourself then people never really know you, so if you want to develop real relationships, you kind of have to talk about yourself so people will know what you are really all about and not what they assume you are all about.
Well...
I talk a lot to my-self...but rarely do I listen.
Okie
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