Future Headline Banner? (houses, 2013, name, woman)

[Norm Barnes]

As a Philadelphian who appreciates competition, it would be a sight to behold. Good Luck. Maybe if they spent money on talent who can survive a season they would be on the road to improvement. We'll see if you rank along the likes of Nostradamus.

[Norm Barnes]

Cure for Cancer Found!!!!! Astonishing determination that "Bubble Gum" can cure Cancer. It appears that the relaxing sensation caused by Gum chewing excites areas of the brain that generates antibodies that actually ward off cancer. On word Topps stock soared to highest levels since the hay days of card collecting. Topps also announced that it will now come in three new flavors: St. Joseph's Aspirin having a mild orange taste, Milk of Magnesia having no taste at all, and; Pepto Bismol flavor which we'll just describe as "Yucky" for those who tend to have upset stomachs. Health Plans nationally announced they will consider coverage on a case by case basis. The downside is Gum will now cost about $30.00 a piece although Galaxy Wyburp announced it will try to bring down the product by assisting Topps with its marketing.

[sun queen]

Originally Posted by AksarbeN

The UFOs that had landed near populated areas of the nation last week have left without any harm to humans or property. It has been reported that several aliens had been in communications with humans and asked questions. No humans were injured in this exchange of information. It was determined that the aliens were leaving earth after finding out that there was no hope in helping mankind, humans were beyond help and out of control according to their higher intellect and abilities.

Meanwhile the wars, poverty, religious and political unrest around the world continue as usual with no evidences
of change taking place.

Oh some how I believe u There is only One WAY and it's the road less traveled...

[Norm Barnes]

Person Needed!!!! Must be able to call me at 8:30 AM prompt daily. Should have calming sexy voice and be able to deal with early disgruntledness. Pay negotiable. Call anytime but not before 8:30 AM. 1-NOB-ODY-CARES

[AksarbeN]

American Auto Manufactures Provide New Safety Equipment

In the recent decade of increasing cell phone usage while driving and the increasing number of accidents auto manufactures will be equipping new cars starting 2015 with the new safety steering wheel. The new wheel will have hand sensors installed that requires both hands on the wheel. The sensors will detect when there is a 15 second absents of one hand or both and activate the flashing visual warning system at the front and rear of the car as well the hone will provide an repeated audible alert. The flashing lights will alert other drivers on the road that the vehicle is being operated in an unsafe manner and to avoid the possible accident by being too near it.

If the sensors detect a longer than 30 second time period, the onboard GPS system will place a call to the nearest 911 emergency center notifying the authorities of the cars location. The GPS system will be programmed with the owner’s name and license plate number as well.

The system is estimated to prevent $150 million in accidents and save over 250,000 lives when it becomes fully used by motorists throughout the nation. The cost of the safety equipment when added to all newly manufactured 2015 and after models will be under $400 per vehicle. Auto Insurance rates are expected to drop by an average of 18% for most drivers in America which will more then offset the price of the safety equipment being installed.

Auto companies will manufacture the equipment in American facilities by American workers helping to reduce the unemployed in the nation. The UAW and company officials are negotiating wage and benefits that will provide workers a living wage, while reducing the upper corporate management and CEO salaries. The present CEO salaries will be reduced from the 400 to 450 times that of the average worker annual salary to a level that is profitable for the companies. It is anticipated that job opening for upper level management positions will increase.

The safety sensor system is an invention of an anonymous senior citizen of the southwest who is expected to earn over $5.2 billion dollars over the next five years.

[AksarbeN]

TSA reduces costs as it adds income to the government

Airport security systems are now improved with technical advances in xray systems. The full body scans will provide additional images that will be viewed online by the general public. Anyone online viewing the body images of a passenger that is a “questionable” security risk will be able to notify the airport TSA and collect a reward for turning in a possible terrorist. This will reduce TSA agents at airport terminal gates, saving the nation millions of dollars each month. A nominal fee for access to the online viewing is expected to add $1.8 billion dollars to the government over the trial period while the new security system is in place. The new systems are expected to be running online by midyear.

[Norm Barnes]

Raquel Welch turns 102!!!! Today's her Birthday. Miraculously she looks as pretty as she did at age 63. Asked what she attibuted to her charming youthful appearance she only turned away from Camera and appeared to take some sort of pill. When asked what it was she merely stated it was a PM Capsule she had somewhat of a Headache. She plans to costar with Betty White in a remake of an old TV Show called the "Golden Girls". She was also asked as to what part she would play. She simply stated: "Any part I want". Well Happy Birthday Raquel and "Are you doing anything later?".

[Norm Barnes]

A Friend just called about the Raquel Welch reply and asked me "Did I know PM stood for Pre-Menstrual?" I told him: "No I didn't" - "I thought it was a nightime formula". My sister who was visiting told us we were both wrong that it either stood for "Post Menopausal" or "Pre-Man". We both stood corrected. Love my Sister?

[fuzzymystic]

Originally Posted by Norm Barnes

Raquel Welch turns 102!!!! Today's her Birthday. Miraculously she looks as pretty as she did at age 63. Asked what she attibuted to her charming youthful appearance she only turned away from Camera and appeared to take some sort of pill. When asked what it was she merely stated it was a PM Capsule she had somewhat of a Headache. She plans to costar with Betty White in a remake of an old TV Show called the "Golden Girls". She was also asked as to what part she would play. She simply stated: "Any part I want". Well Happy Birthday Raquel and "Are you doing anything later?".

Actually, I heard it's going to be a spinoff, also starring Hugh Hefner, called "The Golden Girls Next Door!"

[Norm Barnes]

Over the last three weeks I had attended three different parties celebrating a third generation addition to three different families. Three weeks ago it was a party for a son adopted by a Gay Couple of which one of the partners happened to be a child of a gay couple. That’s one of the Grandparents being a female, the other male, 2 added male grandparents, the gay parents, adopted son and 2 surrogate mothers. I think I got that right but I’m not sure. The following week it was a similar situation however it was 2 Lesbian Grandparents, 1 Straight Male and Female Grandparent couple, 2 Lesbian Parents and the adopted girl child and 2 surrogate fathers. The third week I attended a Baptism and it was the Grandparents of the couple, the couple, and the newborn. I just want to let you know I am not judging moral, immoral or amoral just trying to overcome a state of confusion. I'll get over it.