NEPA ~ Off Topic ~ Chatting Thread ( New ) (Chester, Penn: statistics, rank, hired)

[fisheye]

Originally Posted by jimazee

...and the big news up here this a.m. is both good and bad.

The bad is that there are more woodchucks in our yard than ever

The good news is that they are eating dandelions

The question is do I chase 'em immediately, or let 'em eat for a while

...and my neighbors are still pretty poor.

Grab $30+tax and head to one Tractor Supply store: http://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/pro...2?cm_vc=-10005. Then stop and buy a few cheap apples at the grocery store. Take the big trap, in the two trap set, and one quartered apple. Set it in the day time close to the hole or where you see the groundhogs. Throw one piece of the apple all the way back over the trip plate so the animal has to trip the trap. Toss another piece of apple before the plate and one right inside the trap. The last piece of apple place outside the trap; but close enough that the animal can see and smell the other pieces.


Do not get your fingers near the groundhog when you catch one. PA does not want you to transport animals and let them loose in State Parks. I will not give you further instructions. If you would decide to let it loose; they do usually run from you if you do not block their exit. If you do; they could attack. Groundhogs love apples and will even climb trees to get some.


Never set these traps at night with peanut butter; unless you are going after skunks!


Good luck!


PS If you chase the groundhog and it is too far from it's hole and thinks that you will catch it; they will attack! Be careful.

[theatergypsy]

jima, I had a groundhog under my front porch. He was a boldie. Used to come out and watch me cut the grass. I named him Phorty Phort Phil.


One day, someone told me that he could tunnel his way into my house - well, I certainly didn't want that so I called a person who specialized in removing unwanted critters. His wife came (he was captaining a fishing charter boat) and she set a humane trap. Nothing. Days went by. Nothing. One morning, I looked out and there was a skunk. In the trap. I called her and she said she'd be here in an hour when she took her daughter to school.

She showed up, moved quietly and dropped a sheet over the trap. She picked up the trap and carried carefully to the van, put the trap inside, took my check for $50.00 and continued on to the school with her daughter in the car! She had set another trap and in two days we had Phorty Phort Phil inside. Another $50.00

After that, I decided that if Phil wanted in my house badly enough, let 'im. Besides, how do I know she wasn't turning him loose in the neighborhood so he could find his way "home" and I'd be good for another $50.?

Phil II is still around but we co-exist peacefully. He seems to spend the Summer under my porch and the winter hibernating under my neighbor's porch.

My neighbor won $25,000.00 on a scratch-off once.

[fisheye]

Originally Posted by theatergypsy

My neighbor won $25,000.00 on a scratch-off once.

Then they could afford the $50 skunk and $50 woodchuck!

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by mr.magoo

My nabe recently retired as a Warden at a NJ Womens Correctional Unit...I cut her front lawn for three years from 2004 to 2007...
lets see, 20 cuts a year @ $1000. per cut...

Wow, I have a big payout coming!

Don't buy anything yet, magoo. These nice people are going to use the money for the good of the community.


Since they opted for cash payout, each of the eight will collect roughly $35,500,000.00. Uncle Sugar will take about 45% of that so they'll have to watch their pennies.


I'm happy for them. Your neighbor worked hard and now she'll have a comfortable life in her retirement years. (Maybe she'll call and hire you for landscaping work! I'll bet she's a big tipper!)

[mr.magoo]

you did your math well Theatergypsy, that's pretty much on the money(pardon the pun) as to what they will be getting.
Seriously though, she is a sweetheart of a neighbor and she always offered to pay me for cutting her grass but I always told her, 'that's what neighbors are for'

Speaking of gratuities, I once had a job circumcising Elephants at the circus...pay was minimum wage, but the tips were huge!
Then the Circus hired me on as 'The Human Cannonball' getting shot out of the cannon into a large net.
They told me they were looking for a man of my caliber.

Then there was the job at the Parsley Farm...had to quit because they kept garnishing my wages...

[mr.magoo]

Originally Posted by jimazee

...and the big news up here this a.m. is both good and bad.

The bad is that there are more woodchucks in our yard than ever

The good news is that they are eating dandelions

The question is do I chase 'em immediately, or let 'em eat for a while

...and my neighbors are still pretty poor.

I do love Dandelion greens in my salad...I pick them in a local prison farm pasture where no dogs can pee on them and there are no chemicals put down.

My college sweetheart, a lovely lithe waif, Olive skin,black leotards, long silky black hair, ... the kind you would fight Dragons for, was Italian, her Dad made His own wine, both from grapes and Dandelions.

I miss that wine, and I did really miss that lovely little Sicilian Artist, when she accepted a slot at the Cooper Union in NYC and left me alone at State College.

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by mr.magoo

you did your math well Theatergypsy, that's pretty much on the money(pardon the pun) as to what they will be getting.
Seriously though, she is a sweetheart of a neighbor and she always offered to pay me for cutting her grass but I always told her, 'that's what neighbors are for'

Speaking of gratuities, I once had a job circumcising Elephants at the circus...pay was minimum wage, but the tips were huge!
Then the Circus hired me on as 'The Human Cannonball' getting shot out of the cannon into a large net.
They told me they were looking for a man of my caliber.

Then there was the job at the Parsley Farm...had to quit because they kept garnishing my wages...

Of course I did my math well, magoo. Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their balance.


As for your current crop of corn, I understand now why you're retired.

[jimazee]

Originally Posted by fisheye

Grab $30+tax and head to one Tractor Supply store: http://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/pro...2?cm_vc=-10005. Then stop and buy a few cheap apples at the grocery store. Take the big trap, in the two trap set, and one quartered apple. Set it in the day time close to the hole or where you see the groundhogs. Throw one piece of the apple all the way back over the trip plate so the animal has to trip the trap. Toss another piece of apple before the plate and one right inside the trap. The last piece of apple place outside the trap; but close enough that the animal can see and smell the other pieces.


Do not get your fingers near the groundhog when you catch one. PA does not want you to transport animals and let them loose in State Parks. I will not give you further instructions. If you would decide to let it loose; they do usually run from you if you do not block their exit. If you do; they could attack. Groundhogs love apples and will even climb trees to get some.

Never set these traps at night with peanut butter; unless you are going after skunks!
Good luck!

PS If you chase the groundhog and it is too far from it's hole and thinks that you will catch it; they will attack! Be careful.

I have tried trapping and know some ins/outs thereof. I even hired a guy in a previous home we had. He was an animal control person...made his living that way. I built his web site and advertised for him. Working with him helped me understand the chucks and some other critters (like bats!).

I know there are many 'chucks in my yard. If I get them all, the next bunch will move in. I would not bother trapping them and 'moving' them...a never ending task I think. A .222 or similar is an effective deterrent but the cleanup is annoying...plus it upsets some folks...so

We have sort of a Mexican standoff approach with these guys. We watch for them (they come out in morn and eve) and shoot at em with a BB rifle. (It is cheap target practice and keeps us sharp.) It isn't totally effective but they are easily spooked and get even spookier as they get farther from their holes...so you need to make sure they know a nut/enemy lives in that big thing a long run from their hole... (so I often scream when I attack ... and do this with the deer too). I seldom hit em (the chucks, the deer are easy) but they run at most any noise anyway.

We fertilize around foundation plants with Milorganite (it's human waste based (environmentalists must like this) and has an unpleasant(!) smell). We also spray plants with Bobbex and or Bobbex-R, which are pretty effective based on years of use. (uh, but they smell some too...you sorta get used to this stuff and know not to spray before a BBQ weekend as it gradually wears off (or maybe we get used to it )). And we may look into the product mentioned in following link now also...one of many sites with good 'chuck advice.

woodchuck control

The BEST thing is if our local bobcat shows up (he usually does about this time of year...I think to feed the kids) and picks off a few of the pigs for us. I watched this last year...amazingly satisfying and poetic justice.

We've lived in the woods for many years in many places . You sorta reach a point of equilibrium with the natives. (We had our annual bear visit last week...hopefully he won't be back til next year, but maybe Mom and the kids will wander by soon.)

Off to the day...looks like a nice one

[mr.magoo]

Originally Posted by theatergypsy

Of course I did my math well, magoo. Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their balance.


As for your current crop of corn, I understand now why you're retired.

then there was the constipated Mathematician who worked it out with a pencil.

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by mr.magoo

then there was the constipated Mathematician who worked it out with a pencil.

Not just retired, you should be pilloried!!