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And mark my word...eventually your friend will see thru your bull****. You keep inviting her, but you never offer to pay. Never. One day she's going to say (if she is smart enough)...wait a minute, she always wants me to go places with her but she expects me to pay everytime.
Then she will begin declining the invitation. It may take months, years...but I think you should offer to pay atleast for every 3 invitations you do. Dont come off as a selfish snob who is needy for a lunch buddy.
I can't believe this is for real lol. How silly. And you were actually wondering why you didn't have friends a few months ago.
I can't believe this is for real lol. How silly. And you were actually wondering why you didn't have friends a few months ago.
Its because I was in the process of moving...FYI. Now what you going to say about that? Nothing, so dont try to figure out things for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozgal
seriously???
If you can't afford to go out & an invitation is extended to you, the socially acceptable thing to do is to decline the invitation.
Yes Im serious, and Im about serious to tell you off in just a moment.
But I guess Im a bit used to people offering to pay when they invite me places. I'd do the same. Last week, I wanted to hang out with a guy friend, and I bought him drinks and bought his dinner. Because I invited him.
Some of you women must not be used to getting spoiled or wined and dined. I feel sorry for you...
Sounds like she never asks you to go to lunch? That un-equal treatment.
And first of all...thats WORK! I'm not talking about work. I used to go out to lunch with these 2 guys from work all the time and yes I did pay mine.
Ok, since some of you are obviously stuck on the paying part....lets look at the ride situation, which really got me.
Again...my friend gets new car, picks up fat ass girl but doesn't stop by to give me a ride EVEN THOUGH....I was the one giving rides the past 5 times including once with that fat ass girl in the back.
Now...instead of me wasting gas, she could have just came and picked me up.
And mark my word...eventually your friend will see thru your bull****. You keep inviting her, but you never offer to pay. Never. One day she's going to say (if she is smart enough)...wait a minute, she always wants me to go places with her but she expects me to pay everytime.
Then she will begin declining the invitation. It may take months, years...but I think you should offer to pay atleast for every 3 invitations you do. Dont come off as a selfish snob who is needy for a lunch buddy.
This must be a generational thing. If I go out with girlfriends, I usually pay for my own way and she pays for hers. Right from the get-go in the restaurant, I ask for separate checks. That way each one pays for what each one orders.
If it's a special occasion, such as her birthday or she got a raise or accomplished a project, etc. I would offer to pay. Otherwise, each one pays for their own. I've never had any girlfriend threaten not to see me anymore because I didn't pay her way. I wouldn't have anything to do with a person who talked to me like that. That is ridiculous!
If I had no money, then I would tell anyone who asked me to go out somewhere,"You paying? Because I have no money." I would make that fact clear right in the first phone call. If you guys are exchanging texts, then you need to text that person as to what your money situation is. Don't count on people paying your way automatically.
Maybe your friend was excited about having a new car, and just simply didn't pick you up. Maybe you should have said,"I'd love a ride in your new car."
Last edited by cricket_factor; 02-14-2010 at 04:12 PM..
Sounds like she never asks you to go to lunch? That un-equal treatment.
And first of all...thats WORK! I'm not talking about work. I used to go out to lunch with these 2 guys from work all the time and yes I did pay mine.
Ok, since some of you are obviously stuck on the paying part....lets look at the ride situation, which really got me.
Again...my friend gets new car, picks up fat ass girl but doesn't stop by to give me a ride EVEN THOUGH....I was the one giving rides the past 5 times including once with that fat ass girl in the back.
Now...instead of me wasting gas, she could have just came and picked me up.
And mark my word...eventually your friend will see thru your bull****. You keep inviting her, but you never offer to pay. Never. One day she's going to say (if she is smart enough)...wait a minute, she always wants me to go places with her but she expects me to pay everytime.
Then she will begin declining the invitation. It may take months, years...but I think you should offer to pay atleast for every 3 invitations you do. Dont come off as a selfish snob who is needy for a lunch buddy.
GRRRRR!!!
I think you just started this thread to get a rise out of members, IMO.
If you have this pity party problem with being broke, having friends whom will not pay your way, nor offer to pick you up, then you need to be mature enough to tell them about it.....not bring it to a forum to get sympathy from people, who can see through you!
You have no idea, how many lunches, beers, or nic-nacs I have bought my friend from work, and for your information, I am not a needy, selfish snob who is needy for a lunch buddy, but more of a kind, considerate friend!
Yes Im serious, and Im about serious to tell you off in just a moment.
But I guess Im a bit used to people offering to pay when they invite me places. I'd do the same. Last week, I wanted to hang out with a guy friend, and I bought him drinks and bought his dinner. Because I invited him.
Some of you women must not be used to getting spoiled or wined and dined. I feel sorry for you...
sounds like you want to be invited by people to get a free meal.
and, I've been spoilt plenty of times, the difference is, I don't expect it.
Right from the get-go in the restaurant, I ask for separate checks. That way each one pays for what each one orders.
Thats a good idea...usually my friends wait til they bring the check to say who's paying. And the times I've asked, "who's paying...they say "Im not supposed to ask that question
I don't understand why you bother to ask for input. You seem to know it all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joei
I still have to disagree...but perhaps some of you dont see the principle.
You don't see the principle. When someone asks you out on a date or offers to take you out, they should pay. An invitation to join a group of friends out somewhere is hardly the same thing.
I ask friends to gather all the time. We'll meet at a local establishment, have a few drinks and eats and we all pay our own tabs unless it has been clearly stated otherwise. I have given rides, paid tabs, bought drinks and meals for many of my friends, even when they had the means, but that was MY decision. At no point would they ever feel I owed it to them and if they did, they'd be doing dishes and walking home.
Quote:
I didnt mention, but both of them know that I've gone thru a rough past few weeks. My car was in an accident (still isn't fixed), business was slow, and I just moved into an apartment.
But when I mentioned that work was busy and that I had to go out of town, they just assumed everything had went back to normal, and it wasn't. Im still struggling to pay the bills...and my car is still ****ed up.
Your problem, not theirs. They are not responsible for keeping up with your finances, you are. It would seem a lot more sensible to just stay home if you can't afford to go out.
Quote:
Also, the guy friend I went to the movies with has well over the means to pay for a movie and lunch...It would not have broke the bank for him to pick up the tab...and yes, it was a date, but we're kinda friends too...weird scenario.
If he asked you out on a date, then yes, he was in the wrong. But he could have a million dollars, you are not entitled to it.
Quote:
My other friend, she lives with her parents and like I said...she was telling me how she had all this extra money to go out with, yet she paid for her friend's drink and picked her up...and didnt OFFER to pick me up. Thats the thing. She lives 10 blocks from me, it would have been on the way to her friends place.
She can spend her money however she chooses on whomever she chooses. She may not feel so generous when it comes to you for some reason. Regardless, and again, you are not entitled to a ride nor to her money.
Quote:
Its rather self-centered to ask someone out and assume they are financially able to pay for a movie and dinner. I always carry 'emergency' backup cash for cases like this... while all the while they were well within the means to spend $20.
It is pretty self centered to assume everyone should know your situation and pay your way just because they have the means. "Emergency back-up cash" for cases like this? That has to the all-time best mooch-ism I have ever heard.
Someone has steered you terribly wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ep-
this is gonna be another one of those threads where it turns into the original poster vs. everyone else but the original poster will still thinks shes right after 50 pages of people telling her otherwise.
Its not so much that fact of 'paying'...some of you are getting too hung up on that.
And no...Im not kidding, stop giving me smart ass remarks. I think some of you are looking at the pay part rather than the principle.
Answer this, If someone asked you to go someplace, and you didn't have but $10 entertainment budget...would you be ok if they just ran up, paid for their share but left you in the lurch without first seeing if you have the money to do so?
sounds like you want to be invited by people to get a free meal.
and, I've been spoilt plenty of times, the difference is, I don't expect it.
Sounds like you totally missed the point I was trying to make. Put on your thinking cap and listening ears for once.
It is not about wanting a free meal.
Its about invitations. So far, there's only 1 person in this thread who was able to catch the point I was making, and I repped him.
99.9% of the time when someone invites me someplace, I know that Im not paying for ****! And when I invite someone, 99.9% of the time I realize that I need to have some money just in case they dont.
You say you dont expect to be spoiled, well dont expect someone to have money to pay their own way either. It goes both ways. I can justify my reasoning just as much as you can....if not better.
My mind has not changed at all.
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