Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
For the past couple months, I have been overwhelmed by the unsettling revelation about my father. I've come to realize how selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate and rude he is.
I have a little brother in high school and a mom who has worked all her life to support our family. Given, we are not a well-off family so we've always had problems with money. My parents used to, and still do, argue about money all the time. However, troubles started seriously escalating when he got a little taste of money. He moved to a better company and started earning more money. I think that gave him a sense of entitlement or something, he started acting differently, more distant and more about himself.
He would go off to casinoes or fishing every weekend, not come home until the morning to take a shower, hide money from us. We have one family car, which he always takes whenever he wants, leaving the rest of us stranded and trapped at home. He manipulates us when he needs us, like when we have to go to family functions, then immediately turns his back on us when we're done. Whenever we try to talk about it he just starts yelling and screaming. One time, he shutters his body and blocked his ear with hands so he wouldn't hear what I would have to say. He even stole the money that we had been saving for years which he later admitted he used to go to casinoes. The day my mom found out about this was a day of one of my final, and as a result, I had to miss my final. We still don't know what he does or where he goes at night. And I don't know how many days and nights we've stayed up crying in anger because of him.
He treats my mom like ****, and the only reason why we still stay in the same house is because of money. We are still financially dependent on him and don't have the ability to be free from that. He doesn't even seem to be doing that.
What makes me more mad is the fact that he seems completely uninterested in my future, whether I go to college or turn up on the streets. Wheneve I try to ask him to do something for me, he starts yelling saying "I don't know, you figure it out". What kind of a prick of a father is this.
The sight of his face makes me want to throw up, the hint of his voice makes me quiver. Whenever I hear him talk (which is just yelling nowdays) or walk by my room or anything, I just turn on my ipod. I even thought seriously about comming suicide and leaving him a message saying "this is all your fault. You ruined this family and my life. The guilt of killling your daughter is you a punishment you'll carry out the rest of your ****ing life." But then I think about my little brother and my mom and just put the thought aside.
I can't wait until the day we all move of this house and emancipate ourselves from him. In couple of years, when he's all old and frail, I'm going to return him the same agony he is giving us right now. I am forever and ever done with him.
For the past couple months, I have been overwhelmed by the unsettling revelation about my father. I've come to realize how selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate and rude he is.
I have a little brother in high school and a mom who has worked all her life to support our family. Given, we are not a well-off family so we've always had problems with money. My parents used to, and still do, argue about money all the time. However, troubles started seriously escalating when he got a little taste of money. He moved to a better company and started earning more money. I think that gave him a sense of entitlement or something, he started acting differently, more distant and more about himself.
He would go off to casinoes or fishing every weekend, not come home until the morning to take a shower, hide money from us. We have one family car, which he always takes whenever he wants, leaving the rest of us stranded and trapped at home. He manipulates us when he needs us, like when we have to go to family functions, then immediately turns his back on us when we're done. Whenever we try to talk about it he just starts yelling and screaming. One time, he shutters his body and blocked his ear with hands so he wouldn't hear what I would have to say. He even stole the money that we had been saving for years which he later admitted he used to go to casinoes. The day my mom found out about this was a day of one of my final, and as a result, I had to miss my final. We still don't know what he does or where he goes at night. And I don't know how many days and nights we've stayed up crying in anger because of him.
He treats my mom like ****, and the only reason why we still stay in the same house is because of money. We are still financially dependent on him and don't have the ability to be free from that. He doesn't even seem to be doing that.
What makes me more mad is the fact that he seems completely uninterested in my future, whether I go to college or turn up on the streets. Wheneve I try to ask him to do something for me, he starts yelling saying "I don't know, you figure it out". What kind of a prick of a father is this.
The sight of his face makes me want to throw up, the hint of his voice makes me quiver. Whenever I hear him talk (which is just yelling nowdays) or walk by my room or anything, I just turn on my ipod. I even thought seriously about comming suicide and leaving him a message saying "this is all your fault. You ruined this family and my life. The guilt of killling your daughter is you a punishment you'll carry out the rest of your ****ing life." But then I think about my little brother and my mom and just put the thought aside.
I can't wait until the day we all move of this house and emancipate ourselves from him. In couple of years, when he's all old and frail, I'm going to return him the same agony he is giving us right now. I am forever and ever done with him.
Your post probably deserves a long response. But I'll just say a prayer for you instead. I will say this, suicide is NEVER the answer and things always do and will get better. Hang in there. Your day will come and you'll be on your own. Life is not always fair, but tough times do come to pass. Someday you will look back on this and it will make you a stronger person.
For the past couple months, I have been overwhelmed by the unsettling revelation about my father. I've come to realize how selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate and rude he is.
I have a little brother in high school and a mom who has worked all her life to support our family. Given, we are not a well-off family so we've always had problems with money. My parents used to, and still do, argue about money all the time. However, troubles started seriously escalating when he got a little taste of money. He moved to a better company and started earning more money. I think that gave him a sense of entitlement or something, he started acting differently, more distant and more about himself.
He would go off to casinoes or fishing every weekend, not come home until the morning to take a shower, hide money from us. We have one family car, which he always takes whenever he wants, leaving the rest of us stranded and trapped at home. He manipulates us when he needs us, like when we have to go to family functions, then immediately turns his back on us when we're done. Whenever we try to talk about it he just starts yelling and screaming. One time, he shutters his body and blocked his ear with hands so he wouldn't hear what I would have to say. He even stole the money that we had been saving for years which he later admitted he used to go to casinoes. The day my mom found out about this was a day of one of my final, and as a result, I had to miss my final. We still don't know what he does or where he goes at night. And I don't know how many days and nights we've stayed up crying in anger because of him.
He treats my mom like ****, and the only reason why we still stay in the same house is because of money. We are still financially dependent on him and don't have the ability to be free from that. He doesn't even seem to be doing that.
What makes me more mad is the fact that he seems completely uninterested in my future, whether I go to college or turn up on the streets. Wheneve I try to ask him to do something for me, he starts yelling saying "I don't know, you figure it out". What kind of a prick of a father is this.
The sight of his face makes me want to throw up, the hint of his voice makes me quiver. Whenever I hear him talk (which is just yelling nowdays) or walk by my room or anything, I just turn on my ipod. I even thought seriously about comming suicide and leaving him a message saying "this is all your fault. You ruined this family and my life. The guilt of killling your daughter is you a punishment you'll carry out the rest of your ****ing life." But then I think about my little brother and my mom and just put the thought aside.
I can't wait until the day we all move of this house and emancipate ourselves from him. In couple of years, when he's all old and frail, I'm going to return him the same agony he is giving us right now. I am forever and ever done with him.
I'm going to give you some advice.
One of the reasons you are feeling so hurt and bitter is because a part of you wants a father who will love you and will provide financially and emotionally for you and your family. When you see him or hear his voice, it quickly pulls you back into the reality of the situation. Couple that with the love you have for your mother and brother, and your desire to "avenge" his shabby treatment of them, and I can easily understand the amount of rage you have built up.
Here is the meat of my advice -
1) Realize that the man who fathered you isn't your dad. He has NOT earned that honor, and as such he isn't entitled to your love, OR your resentment. Instead of focusing anger and resentment on him, which in essence IS devoting time and energy to him, let him become dead to you. The moment you stop viewing him as your father, he will simply become an obstacle. Without all of the attached emotions distracting you, you can start taking a practical approach to your current situation. You don't have to love anyone. Love is something that two people should reciprocate to one another.
2) Though your mom is financially dependant on your father, she can divorce him and still lead a life on her own with you and your brother. Remember these words : Alimony and Child support. If you, your mother, and your brother work and support each other financially and emotionally, you would be surprised at the ease in which you can separate from him.
3) Love yourself and appreciate what you do have. Though it is difficult when one lacks the support and encouragement of one parent or both, it doesn't mean that they are any less of a person than if they did have it. You do not need his support or care to be successful in life! You are still blessed to have a mother and brother that love you, and your health. That is a LOT more then a lot of people have. Use it and cherish it.
4) SUICIDE IS NEVER AN OPTION. It denies you your life, and it crushes the ones who love and care about you.
Though there is a lot more I would like to say, I believe those are the few key points you should start looking over and thinking about.
I agree w/ other poster....stop viewing him as nothing more than another human on this earth who you don't care to associate with.
HOWEVER....understand you ARE NOT financially dependent on him. You said your mother worked all her life. She can work and you all can live on what she makes, even if it means living lower than you do now. Could you live in a small apartment, give up extras, take out loans for college someday, etc. if it meant you could free yourself of your dad?
like most folks where i came from you get parents to sign at 17 and go into the military and leave and dont come back. its not about him, its about you and your future. try to sign up for some VT in the military dont just carry a rifle.
My girlfriend's father used to knock her and his wife senseless all the time. But in this case, it looks like you're suffering from emotional abuse. I think the best thing to do is to check into a battered women's shelter and have your mother try to get on her feet again. As the other posters in this thread, there's always child support money.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
