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I can say a positive NO...not now, not ever. I've never treated anyone badly to wonder if they actually hate me.
Hate isn't always triggered by some action. People can decide to hate regardless if the hated person did anything to them or not. As many of the posts here demonstrated, the reason for the hatred was a mystery, not connected to any specific thing. The hater can be viciously jealous, disagree with some philosophical, political, or religious belief, ethnicity, nationality, an unfortunate association with a bad memory, etc. Why do you think complete strangers with an ocean between decide to hate people they've never even met? Herman Melville wrote a novel about an envious hatred of a more charismatic, popular, and naive shipmate. Didn't you read the classic Billy Budd, Sailor in school?
I have tried throughout my life to treat people well, be friendly and polite but now and then there has been some serious conflict. In a few cases, some people just hate me. It does not bother me too much if I can avoid them but in many cases, I was forced to interact with these haters on a regular basis.
The people who hated me could be an ex-wife, a neighbor, coworkers, or relatives.
Why did they hate me? Workplace conflict (I tried to stop them from destroying the company or they wanted me fired as part of a power play.) Relatives (Who thought their sister deserved someone better than me.) Neighbors (Who I complained about to the police for having wild parties on their deck at 3 AM 5 feet from my bedroom window.) Ex Wife (Nothing needs to be said!)
How do you respond to people you are forced to be with who HATE YOU? Do you hate them back?
Another federal bureaucrat I know was hunched over a memo he had submitted to his supervisor that carried her stinging comments. I saw him sitting in his cubicle devastated. To cheer him up, I said, "Reading this, you think she hates you?" He nodded. I continued, "She does." "She hates everybody."
I actually work at making myself likeable. Sometimes I fail, though, and sometimes I am just clumsy.
I drop toxic people out of my life. I do it quietly when I can, but I have confronted a couple of them over the years and made it clear that we are never to be friends again.
Hate is a really strong word. I don't think anyone hates me. I'm a pretty easygoing person and I pick my battles wisely. I know there is a person that dislikes me, but we're civil when we meet, but I don't go out of my way to include her in my life and she doesn't either. It's fine with me. I try to stay away from negative people.
My husband's brother and his wife strongly dislike me as did his one sister who died. They were not my cup of tea and I distanced myself from them early on in our relationship. They're toxic people and my husband warned me about not getting close to his family. I didn't listen because my own family was dysfunctional and I wanted some kind of family life. Imagine my surprise when they're all drunk and fighting on Christmas Eve. Yep, just like home. Ugh. They can hate me if they want to, but what didn't go over well was my husband telling me to shut up and leave his brother alone when I fired back after being attacked by them. He had no clue what had happened. It almost caused a divorce because I left him on Christmas Eve and was gone for three days. That was the end of my relationship with them. I saw them at my FIL's funeral and one said "Oh you're here." I said "I'm sorry for your loss and that I was there in support of my husband." They're still a bunch of rectums. I've made up my mind that I will not attend my MIL's funeral. I'm just done with that whole dysfunctional, toxic mess.
I would say with a good deal of confidence that nobody in my life has ever hated me. And that most people who have gotten to know me at least a little but, none of them dislike me.
And I can say with 100% certainty that nobody has ever hated me because they were jealous of me. Jealous of what? lol.
But I will also say that not a lot of people 'like' me.
I'm also pretty sure that I'm seen overall as pretty boring.
Entertaining/cool people are typically on the aggressive side, and as a generality don't generate neutral opinions.
A guy I used to work with, when he started, he was literally everybody's best friend at the company, and by the time he left, half of the company hated him.
Hate isn't always triggered by some action. People can decide to hate regardless if the hated person did anything to them or not. As many of the posts here demonstrated, the reason for the hatred was a mystery, not connected to any specific thing. The hater can be viciously jealous, disagree with some philosophical, political, or religious belief, ethnicity, nationality, an unfortunate association with a bad memory, etc. Why do you think complete strangers with an ocean between decide to hate people they've never even met? Herman Melville wrote a novel about an envious hatred of a more charismatic, popular, and naive shipmate. Didn't you read the classic Billy Budd, Sailor in school?
This is so true. I have even had a good deed backfire and result in someone "hating" me.
When I was in a position to hire two former colleagues, I contacted them and they were thrilled with the new job promotion and pay increase. Within a couple months, one asked for a new office, wanted me to approve an out of town business trip (to a resort) and later asked for a bonus. The other wanted me to hire her daughter as an intern, which I did, but then wasn't happy with what I paid her daughter.
Both of these individuals kept their distance from me after I denied their requests and our relationship was never the same.
Hatred means someone is actively thinking about you on a frequent basis and caring about what you're doing/thinking/planning. Do you all really believe people actually care enough about that to stay in a mode of 'hatred?' I think what people are terming 'hatred' by random others is really probably more a level of dislike.
The truth is most people don't spend all that much time thinking of others they dislike -- most people care and think about themselves, their children, family, pets.
We are so much less important than we think we are.
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This post reminds me of a story
