I got upset with my husband.. am I right to feel this way? (father, person)

[Missganda]

My husband and I invited my inlaws for a weekeng get away. Its my mother inlaw’s birthday and we wanted to do something special for her. Initially, the plan was a viethdat party but sge doesnt want a party and only wanted a birthday trip. We arranged everything including renting a van and booking the hotel suite. My husband’s sister and her family is also going. Weeks later his parents cancelled. The reason is because they said that their grandkid ( from my husbands sister) cant tolerate long drive. My husband just said “ok”. Im upset because we did all the planning and they just cancelled just its nothing. The trip is not till a month from now.

My husband and I also have a son and I feel that they only care about their other grandson what about their grandson thats also gonna go. Its like its not important for them that their other grandson is also going.

What are your guys thoughts? Do I have the right to b upset? Thanks.

I forgot to add thatblast year they went on the same trip with the daughters family. We werent able to go. Maybe thats when they found out the baby cant tolerate long drive.

[Sassybluesy]

I get being really disappointed. But to me, it sounds like they're trying to take great pains to be fair to EVERYONE, and so they cancelled the trip, because one member wouldn't be able to tolerate it.


I'm sure they love YOUR son as much as the sister's son...but it's the sister's son who won't enjoy it. Sounds like (to me) that if EVERYONE can't go...than no one should go.

[ellie]

Just roll with it. There are many things in life that you can’t control. It’s not your husband’s fault. He can’t force other people to do what they’re unable to do.

I doubt there’s favoritism involved. Maybe the other child has a highly reactive personality and would make everyone else miserable. Be thankful your child is more agreeable.

Take a deep breath and apologize to your husband for over reacting. Your relationship takes precedence over everyone else’s little dramas.

[old_cold]

Yes, you have the right to be upset.
Unfortunately, there are more inter-family dynamics going on here than your post reveals so there can't be any easy answers.
But don't blame your husband for any of it

[RamenAddict]

It’s the grandmother’s birthday and it sounds like the most important thing for her right now is that everyone can participate. When she found out that one person can participate (and it may be more than one, depending on the age of the grandson), she thought it would be better to cancel than have one sibling come and the other sibling be excluded. Certainly it’s disappointing, but I think your husband did the right thing by not getting all that upset.

[rrah]

So you wanted your husband to do or feel what exactly?

I understand you're upset, but the situation is not his fault.

Have you considered that he doesn't want to "feed" your disappointment/anger by expressing his own disappointment when he said "okay."

[ClaraC]

Since they already did the same trip last year, maybe they're not interested in doing it again?

I don't know what all the family dynamics are, but is this grandson special needs?

I understand your hurt. I really does hurt when grandparents clearly choose one set of grandkids over the other - it sounds to me like the MIL is closer to her daughter than she is to her son, or anyway, accommodates the daughter more.

How about your parents? Do they have a close relationship with that set of grandparents?

Are there other plans now, to celebrate the birthday? Maybe something that's not a long drive away?

[Stagemomma]

If the baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Maybe plan something that will work for everyone concerned.

And I also do not see why this is the OPs husband's fault.

[Missganda]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Since they already did the same trip last year, maybe they're not interested in doing it again?

I don't know what all the family dynamics are, but is this grandson special needs?

I understand your hurt. I really does hurt when grandparents clearly choose one set of grandkids over the other - it sounds to me like the MIL is closer to her daughter than she is to her son, or anyway, accommodates the daughter more.

How about your parents? Do they have a close relationship with that set of grandparents?

Are there other plans now, to celebrate the birthday? Maybe something that's not a long drive away?

My mother and father in law do the same trip every year except last year when they went with the daughter and her family. The grandson is a normal baby. He is 1 1/2 years old. My son is two. The daughter and her husband and son live with them. My mom ges along with them but not that close.

As of now, no plans. I dont want to get incolved in planning anything as of this moment. My sister inlaw was the one that asked me to plan dor this birthday. Initially, it was supposed to be a party. But my sister inlaw said no more party but rather just a family trip. Im upset because I already made arrangements for that then I had to cancel. This time, its the same thing. I made arrangements for hotel and transportation and Inhave to cancel both of them.

My husband said he would talk to his family. Thays the reason why I got mad at him because he acted like its ok. I just feel that their being inconsiderate of the work weve done to celebrate this birthday.

[hunterseat]

Originally Posted by old_cold

Yes, you have the right to be upset.
Unfortunately, there are more inter-family dynamics going on here than your post reveals so there can't be any easy answers.
But don't blame your husband for any of it

yeah like sister manipulating the situation. I'd go anyway, have a blast, do fun things with your family and post plenty of pictures!