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He’s a headcase; make no conversations with him and don’t engage in any arguments. He may be mentally ill. My mother, as she aged and started the long, sad trip down the deadend street called Alheimers Road, became angry and unreasonable. Some of the behaviors you describe in your neighbor are much like my mother’s behavior. Her neighbors were generallykind enough to tolerate her. But a few called police. It was finally the police who insisted she have 24/7 care and eventually we moved her away from her home. In the early stages of dementia, this kind of territorial thinking along with controntational behavior is not that uncommon. You just don’t know what’s going on with him. But its not normal so keep your distance. If he demands you clear your parking preference because its “his space” just tell him you believe its not his space and if he can show you some documents proving it is his space that you will happily revisit this issue. Smile and move on with your day.
I was thinking the same thing about how your neighbor is presenting himself. Funny about that sneaky dimentia...you can be a pretty peaceful person, then get dementia and tremendous anger, and then enter a peaceful time where you're very out of touch.
The thing is, he was a Naval Officer and add to that that he is searching for an anchor (no pun intended) in a horribly lost time, if this is the case. So sounds like he's hanging on to what he knew...and going to the extreme.
Sadly typical of Alzheimer's. So let it go, if you can, or agree with the old coot when he's blustering away, or just say, "I'll have to see what I can do", then change the subject. Ask him about his past with the Navy - he may have crystal clear memories of those days. Whatever you do, don't bring up the problem topics and behaviors when he seems more "normal". Don't be personally offended - it's okay to be aggravated, of course, but I suspect much of this is not intentionally designed to offend others, but to hang onto waning control.
A relative of mine who is developing similar traits just turned down five different people's (friends and relatives) offers of transportation to a family gathering he'd previously appeared to anticipate very much, and wound up not attending. But he also hurt his best friend very badly with irrational anger when the friend asked why he didn't want to go to the get-together, and said ugly things to others who'd offered rides.
Yet when I actually saw him a few days later (my offer of a ride was by phone), he didn't even ask about the gathering, was in good spirits, and seemed more himself, though his long stories about his past had factual errors. I just tried to go with the flow when I was with him, but am still frustrated that his stubbornness caused so much aggravation and upset for others. Alzheimer's is a hateful disease...
So - cut the old fellow some slack, try to put yourself into his world when you can, ask his wife what's going on, and do what you ordinarily do as far as flowers and parking are concerned. You might want to also make sure his wife is safe, if he has such an irrational temper and so much anger about petty things.
The walking in front of the house thing is really off the wall and indicates that he's much farther along that hateful Alzheimer's highway than is my relative...but perhaps walkers could just tell him it's okay, they have a special permit to walk and will be gone soon, then move on. No point in engaging in arguing with someone with this terrible disease - they often have no idea why they are angry and will make up reasons or blame you.
So sorry you and your neighbors are dealing with this.
Very sad disease, which causes about as much pain to loved ones and others as it does the patient.
We have an 83 yr old man who lives on our street and his cat roams the neighbor woods and none of say anything because that cat maybe the only thing keeping him alive and all of us know it but we also know that we are scared for that cat because he terrorizes some of the fenced in dogs and we are worried that he could fall and any one of those dogs would kill him if given the chance . we have talked with the man until we are blue in the face and he just says he cant control the cat . So yes one day the cat and the man will be gone and I can live with that . I say if he is elderly then one day the problem will be gone so hopefully you can put up with it for what time the old man has left .
I think you've tagged this correctly. A guy forcing people to cross the street and not walk in front of his house, seems unhinged to me. Being a former military man, he would know how to use weapons. He could shift into his next stage of anger and start shooting. This could be one of those cases where many people saw the signs, but no one did anything, until it was too late.
The mere fact of being former (in his case retired) military does not automatically mean he knows how to use small arms. This man is a retired Navy captain. Any weaponry he needed was of very large caliber and firmly attached to a ship. None of us know if the man even owns or ever owned a personal weapon.
Please don't lump all veterans into "gun expert with hair trigger" stereotype. It ain't true.
I believe those who've observed Alsheimers symptoms have it pegged far more accurately.
How about if you say Thank you sir. How about if we catch lunch down the street here? He might be at a time where he would like some company and validation that he is a person.
The mere fact of being former (in his case retired) military does not automatically mean he knows how to use small arms. This man is a retired Navy captain. Any weaponry he needed was of very large caliber and firmly attached to a ship. None of us know if the man even owns or ever owned a personal weapon.
Please don't lump all veterans into "gun expert with hair trigger" stereotype. It ain't true.
I believe those who've observed Alsheimers symptoms have it pegged far more accurately.
Everyone in the military has gone through some version of basic training and with the exception of medical/dental personnel and those in the clergy, would have been trained to use small arms.
Everyone in the military has gone through some version of basic training and with the exception of medical/dental personnel and those in the clergy, would have been trained to use small arms.
Maybe so, but the valid point is this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arkay66
Please don't lump all veterans into "gun expert with hair trigger" stereotype. It ain't true.
The guy also could just be a jerk.
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