My neighbor is so... not a good neighbor (neighborhood, neighbors, wife)

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by behindthescreen

I guess I'm in the minority here. I think you're being petty. This lady hardly bothers you except using your driveway to turn her car around? Has some landscaper trimming trees and hops over your fence to trim?

I mean you shouldnt be happy about it but these things are minor when living next to other people. Consider yourself lucky that you don't have MY neighbors.

Minority for sure. I don't think she's being petty at all.

OP, I think you just have to be blunt. I don't blame you for being upset.

[lkmax]

I would definitely be upset about the tree and fence thing.

I do think you might be getting a little too upset about the "turning around in your driveway" thing, although that's exactly the kind of thing my husband would throw a hissy fit about. Why not try telling your neighbor that her turning around in your driveway upsets your dog, floods in light and basically disturbs your whole household? She might not really think it's a big deal.

[MsMetal]

I would just go talk to her about it. What's so hard about that? My neighbor's kids were always using our driveway to turn around, which really bugged me. I went over & told them & asked them to have their kids quit doing it. They did. Problem solved. Granted, it's not always that ez, but talking to her is the first step.

I agree that the workmen were not professional, as they should not have taken her word for it, they should have knocked on your door prior to trespassing.

But, to be fair, she has zero idea that any of these things bother you, so how could she stop doing it if she doesn't even know? Wait til you calm down a bit & go talk to her.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

(Grin). She thinks you are the bad neighbor. So self centered you don't care about her fence and so selfish you won't allow her to share your fence posts.

Unfortunately it is difficult to find any neighborhood without at least one bad neighbor somewhere on the block. Your neighbor is a mild nuisance compared to some I've suffered through.

I suggest that you post a sign on your gate that says "my neighbor can not give you pemission to be on my property, remove my trees, or mess with my fence". I think that will solve the majority of your issues.

Leave your car parked in your driveway. That will stop her turning around by using your driveway. (Seriously, she is right next door and she can't use her own driveway to turn around?)

[emm74]

Originally Posted by behindthescreen

I guess I'm in the minority here. I think you're being petty. This lady hardly bothers you except using your driveway to turn her car around? Has some landscaper trimming trees and hops over your fence to trim?

I mean you shouldnt be happy about it but these things are minor when living next to other people. Consider yourself lucky that you don't have MY neighbors.

It's the OP's tree, and completely on the OP's property. And you think it's ok for someone to come into the OP's yard and trim a tree that doesn't belong to them?

And you think it's ok for someone to use fence posts that the OP paid for and that are on the OP's property and attach something to them without permission?

These are not minor things. Yes, the driveway thing is annoying but minor. But I bet the OP would be a whole lot less bothered by that if the neighbor wasn't acting as if property rights don't exist on issues that are not so minor.

OP, good luck with the situation. Hopefully some calm discussion (which apparently might be best attempted between your respective spouses) will resolve things. But if not, I think that despite the potential negative fall out, you may need to take things further and speak to an attorney - I worry that this disrespect of your property rights could be the thin edge the wedge if it's not nipped in the bud.

[cully]

Originally Posted by odanny

This is what happens to me. I can live with vehicles lights shining on the house before they turn right or left but now cars are parking alongside the curb and their headlights are shining into my living room window. And this irritates me. I've now gone to shining a powerful flashlight into their windshield for about 10 seconds just to remind them what it is like. They almost never turn off their lights though I know they at least are forced to acknowledge what they are doing. I sometimes park my truck in front of my home to act as a shield. People really are oblivious to being courteous these days,

I visit a friend sometimes where nearby a new subdivision was started a few years ago and is still being built out. There is a house across the street from the entrance/exit of the large subdivision. The owner tried to get the entrance moved a little right or left...nope.

So he had directly in his front windows construction truck lights when they braked or had their lights on for safety; a steady growing stream of homeowner lights, prospective buyer lights, lights from families going in and out all day and into the evening because it's a very family oriented area with lots of extra curricular activities.

So he decided to put toilets in his front yard.

And clotheslines with all kinds of clothes flapping in the breeze including giant undies.

He had a very large sign against the subdivision ... can't remember exactly what it said.

There were complaints and suits but the stuff stayed there for a couple of years.

Eventually, the guy cleaned up the yard to sell the house. It looks normal now when I go back. The new people bought the house knowing what's across the street so there are no surprises there.

[slamont61]

Completely understand the tree trimming issue, been there with my neighbor. It can create long lasting tensions. They also had no business trying to use your fence to stabilize theirs.


My neighbor on the other side is the exact opposite. We talk regularly about anything and everything that has to do with our common boundary.


Some people are considerate, some not so much.


The driveway thing, I'm not quite sure how to remedy. Without directly explaining the issue, they'd have no clue. They sound pretty clueless already.

[BostonMike7]

I park my car at the end of the driveway. Prevents anyone from using it as a turn-around.

[Steve McDonald]

The woman next door seems to be disconnected from the realities of living with neighbors. She may be suffering from early-onset dementia or addicted to something like marijuana. If you don't get tough and bring charges against her for violating your property, it will just get worse. If you don't stand up for your property rights, you lose them. Get some video of her using your driveway to turn around. You should have done that, when you found the tree-cutters she hired, in your backyard. But I don't understand why she uses your driveway to turn around. Doesn't she have a driveway of her own? Using the front of someone's driveway to turn around is not illegal, in itself, but if she does it every day and could use her own instead, this could be considered a nuisance and a court might order her not to do it. A simpler action would be to get a portable sign on a stand that says, "No Turn Around". Make sure you know where the street right-of-way extends and put the sign just inside of that. I guarantee that she will find other ways to infringe on your property, if you don't put a stop to it.

[SolaireSolstice]

Reading these responses and just a day or two calmed me down greatly. I still haven't talked my husband into going over there to talk to them himself. So it will be me, and it'll probably be next weekend. I'm thinking I'll just go over there when my husband takes his iPad into the bathroom and shuts the door. That'll give me ample time He's just waiting for the for sale sign to go up and hopes the whole problem disappears.

A Few FYI: workmen were not cutting my tree. If they were I would have gone total psycho. They came in through our completely fenced and closed gate backyard to cut branches that had grown in between the fence. I had our one tree limb that had been touching her fence trimmed back over a year ago, when the initial conversation happened. The second intrusion happened when they had to come on my side to wire her posts to my fence. I guarantee you that particular workman will never take someone else's word that he has permission again. I was very shrill.

My fence is chainlink and I hate it, but it's straight and its posts are sunk in concrete. Her fence is wood privacy with metal posts NOT sunk in concrete. In our shifting soil, the whole fence essentially fell over almost 45 degrees. I believe that the initial conversation was intended to be a segway into her asking us to share the cost of the fence repair or replacement, with the implication it was that one tree limb touching it that caused it to go sideways. Only to discover that POS is fully her responsibility.

The driveway thing is so petty I just threw it in there to not only have this incident to indicate that this neighbor is incredibly self absorbed. It would never occur to me to use a neighbor's driveway, daily, to turn around. I don't even like doing it once; it feels intrusive.

She works, drives, and apparently can't remember who lives next door to her more than a couple of months at a time. Dementia seems less likely than socially clueless. Another thought was that the previous owners rented the house out, and it had tenants in it for almost 15 years. Since she can't remember who we are, she may think we are renters and wouldn't complain. A whole NOTHER reason to make it very clear that we do care, and they do not have permission to use our property as they see fit.