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I've been noticing a sub-group of these premature celebrators: those who use the news of their "pending successes" to get future attention from people.
You might have met them too. They say "I'm so excited, I have this great job interview on Friday..." or "I just found the perfect house, I'm putting in an offer tomorrow.." or whatever, about their upcoming positive event. Then, whether it actually pans-out or not, the important thing is that you ask them about it later. How did that interview go? Did you get that house?
If you don't ask, then you're a terrible, insensitive person, even though they've been baiting you and everyone else with these bits of news for years. If you don't ask, then you get "Thanks for asking about my interview" or "I can't believe you didn't even ask about that offer I made on that house." Then you have to deal with their drama.
So, the people we've been talking about in most of this thread have the problem of counting their chickens before they're hatched, but these other people not only celebrate stuff that hasn't happened yet, and expect you to help celebrate, they also expect you to focus future attention on them.
It's like assigning you homework you didn't want.
I'm young (24), but I think a lot of this has to do with social media and how we are now convinced we are all extremely special and exciting. I'm not saying that we aren't all extremely special, but we are convinced everyone is obsessed with our lives.
What terrifies me is seeing not only people posting every single accomplishment online (Please don't get me started on ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARIES, a babies first crap in the toilet, over the top engagement news, your first time eating a reuben, buying your first set of plates...), but people freak out over every accomplishment someone else makes. I simply cannot fathom being obsessed with every damn thing my best friend posts online.
I post on facebook occasionally, but I never post the intricate details. My boyfriend and I are coming up on 3 years together and I can count on one hand how many times I have posted about him, maybe even less, LOL. We have a very healthy relationship. I can't imagine telling everyone everything.
Everyone is convinced everyone needs to know everything. Frankly, it's boring. Nothing is special or sacred anymore. Being loud about every accomplishment just screams "look at me", which is not special or amazing. It's childish and sad. These people usually have a hole in their life, and I think that sucks.
Or maybe they have a large family scattered in different time zones and it's easier to update everyone via Facebook. My family is like that (scattered from England to Ohio to Texas to California to Guam). We're a close family in spite of our distances from each other. We enjoy seeing pictures of each other's food (heh!), or what someone scored at the local thrift shop, homemade jam, or the native spear found in a village, or the clouds rolling in, or dogs laying in the sun, or videos of the cat falling into a trashcan or kids playing a song on the piano.
If others don't like it, they can unfriend us. We're not doing all that for attention - we're communicating the joys of our daily lives with people we care about.
By the way, when my best friend and I talk on the phone, often we talk about REALLY STUPID STUFF - like why would Julia Roberts EVER marry Lyle Lovett, or how one of our mutual friends opened up a tax preparation office and couldn't find anyone to "work the street" dressed as the statue of Liberty, so she had to do it herself...yes, it's just little stuff, but it's pleasant conversation to us.
Don't like the chatter? Tell people you don't like it, and I bet they don't bother you with it again.
I've been noticing a sub-group of these premature celebrators: those who use the news of their "pending successes" to get future attention from people.
You might have met them too. They say "I'm so excited, I have this great job interview on Friday..." or "I just found the perfect house, I'm putting in an offer tomorrow.." or whatever, about their upcoming positive event. Then, whether it actually pans-out or not, the important thing is that you ask them about it later. How did that interview go? Did you get that house?
If you don't ask, then you're a terrible, insensitive person, even though they've been baiting you and everyone else with these bits of news for years. If you don't ask, then you get "Thanks for asking about my interview" or "I can't believe you didn't even ask about that offer I made on that house." Then you have to deal with their drama.
So, the people we've been talking about in most of this thread have the problem of counting their chickens before they're hatched, but these other people not only celebrate stuff that hasn't happened yet, and expect you to help celebrate, they also expect you to focus future attention on them.
It's like assigning you homework you didn't want.
This is it. Exactly.
It's not so much the tangible aspect of 'counting your chickens,' but the semi-narcissistic behavior of soliciting frequent congrats for things that haven't actually happened.
I get that good things often take time to come to fruition, but there's a big difference between talking in generalities about what's going on versus fishing for compliments every step of the way. I sometimes end up feeling (for a few minutes ) like I'm not supportive enough.
What terrifies me is seeing not only people posting every single accomplishment online (Please don't get me started on ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARIES, a babies first crap in the toilet, over the top engagement news, your first time eating a reuben, buying your first set of plates...), but people freak out over every accomplishment someone else makes. I simply cannot fathom being obsessed with every damn thing my best friend posts online.
When you start having kids, you'll understand why that first crap in the toilet is MAJOR!!! Literally life changing! ;-) That first Mr. Hankie bobbing around in the ceramic swimming pool is the harbinger of more free time and more money saved.
I read something about how if you go around bragging about something you plan to do, you probably won't end up doing it because you will have subconsciously convinced yourself you'd already done it...made tons of sense to me given how many people can't stop talking up their non-chievements these days.
Most people are self absorbed, narcissistic, and crave constant attention. I just accept it as a sort of societal white noise.
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) like I'm not supportive enough.
