Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It sounds like she's both excited to be a grandmother and very nervous.
I would tell her something like "Mom, I appreciate the advice, but the doctor has this handled. I'm nervous because of what happened before, but I'm really hoping and trusting it to turn out differently this time. Please stop reminding me of what could go wrong and how I should act or prepare...it just makes me feel more stressed and I think you'll agree that I really don't need that right now. Just enjoy the thought of being a grandmother, you'll be a great one!"
Or something like that.
I wouldn't say anything like "I don't need that right now" - that can really hurt feelings... but the rest of the above sounds pretty ok to me.
She's your MOM. Chill out, tune her out, yes her to death and let her have her say.
Then do what you want.
Be grateful that you HAVE a Mom there to care about you.
She's excited for you and scared for you. Tell her exactly what you said here in your first post. Acknowledge that she's excited and worried and assure her that as soon as you have info to share, you will call her.
She's excited for you and scared for you. Tell her exactly what you said here in your first post. Acknowledge that she's excited and worried and assure her that as soon as you have info to share, you will call her.
And good luck with the pregnancy!
mother's mean well, but sometimes they can hurt more than help. when we went through similar issues, my mom would call my wife and she would always put on a miserable voice and make my wife feel even worse than she already was. so there i am trying to nicely suggest my mom handle things a bit differently. i ended up with my mom crying and clearly treating it like it was her tragedy, so now i have to comfort her while my wife and i are the ones dealing with it. im not suggesting it wasn't hard on her also, but she was the only one whose conversations with my wife made her feel worse. so whenever my mom called, now i have to console my wife all over again.
Threestep I haven't purchased anything, I have no intention of buying anything for the first few months at least, and definitely am waiting for the showers, but who tells someone don't buy anything for the first SEVEN months?
Conservative and Orthodox Jews. I assume you're not an adherent. I'm not either but I don't buy baby things before the last trimester, including during my own pregnancy. I don't see the sense of it, unless there's some huge fire sale on big ticket items like baby furniture.
I do understand that someone might start work on a handcrafted item earlier.
Conservative and Orthodox Jews. I assume you're not an adherent. I'm not either but I don't buy baby things before the last trimester, including during my own pregnancy. I don't see the sense of it, unless there's some huge fire sale on big ticket items like baby furniture.
I do understand that someone might start work on a handcrafted item earlier.
The Irish and Italians either, at least in my experience. It's a superstition thing, buying too early can bring bad luck raining down upon the family. I am not superstitious, but I went along with that, well aware that should anything go wrong, it would be difficult to deal with packing up all those adorable little clothes, not to mention disassembling a crib.
I'm a planner, I'd go crazy not purchasing anything until month 7. No we aren't Jewish either haha.
I know my mom means well, hence why I'm trying to not get mad, I love my mom, but she's very dramatic and when I'm already sick all day from morning sickness, exhausted, worried myself about miscarrying again, etc, it can be very taxing.
Specially when she keeps telling me "be careful" and I'm like okay mom I am... And seriously, am I the only one weirded about by my mom sending me a text saying "when was the date of your last period?" o.0 At some point she needs to ask herself if she really needs that information
I'm sorry. It's amazing how so many mothers think that events in their daughters' lives are all about them. Try not to let it bother you as she does likely mean well and it's not good for the baby to be stressed or anything. If she talks about stuff you don't want to talk about, try to cut the conversation short and/or tell her I don't want to talk about this right now/I have stuff I need to go do.
Threestep I haven't purchased anything, I have no intention of buying anything for the first few months at least, and definitely am waiting for the showers, but who tells someone don't buy anything for the first SEVEN months?..
In some families they don't buy anything until the baby is born....and it's a cultural tradition in some areas.
I bought a car seat, a bassinet and a going home outfit before my daughter was born. The rest were gifts or purchased after her birth.
I agree that your Mother needs to chill...but stop being hung on on that one little thing.
Conservative and Orthodox Jews. I assume you're not an adherent. I'm not either but I don't buy baby things before the last trimester, including during my own pregnancy. I don't see the sense of it, unless there's some huge fire sale on big ticket items like baby furniture.
I do understand that someone might start work on a handcrafted item earlier.
I should have just read ahead! I think it's wierd to buy everything before birth rather then waiting....but every family does things differently.
I also don't get the trend of telling people when they are just a few weeks along.....my mother thought I was jumping the gun by telling her and others when I was 4 months along (and not really showing yet)!! LOL! Times have changed on that one.
mother's mean well, but sometimes they can hurt more than help. when we went through similar issues, my mom would call my wife and she would always put on a miserable voice and make my wife feel even worse than she already was. so there i am trying to nicely suggest my mom handle things a bit differently. i ended up with my mom crying and clearly treating it like it was her tragedy, so now i have to comfort her while my wife and i are the ones dealing with it. im not suggesting it wasn't hard on her also, but she was the only one whose conversations with my wife made her feel worse. so whenever my mom called, now i have to console my wife all over again.
That sounds awful.
I'm just suggesting that the OP tell her mom straight up that she needs to tone down the advice and concern. If that doesn't work, she can think about not answering the phone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I assume you're not an adherent. I'm not either but I don't buy baby things before the last trimester, including during my own pregnancy. I don't see the sense of it, unless there's some huge fire sale on big ticket items like baby furniture. 
