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He hasn`t told him yet, however..one of my husbands friends said that he will put a word in for him where he works. We told him about it and this was is exact words.." Painting? Nooo..can`t say that I have any experience in painting."
The guy said that there are younger guys than him that come in to train for the job. He just isn`t interested in finding a job!
I don`t know whats going to happen, but hopefully he will get off of his lazy ass and look for work!
He hasn`t told him yet, however..one of my husbands friends said that he will put a word in for him where he works. We told him about it and this was is exact words.." Painting? Nooo..can`t say that I have any experience in painting."
The guy said that there are younger guys than him that come in to train for the job. He just isn`t interested in finding a job!
I don`t know whats going to happen, but hopefully he will get off of his lazy ass and look for work!
Actually, I don't think I was clear with my question. I was just wondering if your husband was onboard with you.
I have read through this entire thread (plus new posts) again and thought about OP's problem with the nephew some more. If I have gotten the facts right:
1) Nephew is laid off from job but will be rehired.
2) Nephew has pt job now and/or gets unemployment. (not sure which - OP was not clear about this)
3) Nephew lost his place to live when his own parents split up.
4) Nephew can't afford to get new apartment.
OP is fed up because:
5) Nephew doesn't help with chores, never mind do his own - like his laundry.
6) Nephew quit paying his rent of $80.00/wk when he got laid off.
7) Nephew blew good job opportunity because he flunked drug test.
8) Nephew gets pot from his Dad/smokes with Dad
The situation gets more complicated because:
9) OP's hubby doesn't seem to feel a need to do anything about HIS nephew.
10) OP is worried about the negative example the Nephew is giving her own son.
And last but not least:
11) Nephew's own dad DID offer to "catch up" Nephew's back rent when informed of situation.
So, in the Nephew's favor is the fact that he actually WILL have a full time job to go back to, and maybe that's why he hasn't been looking very hard for something else, Plus, at least he's got a part time job, so he's not a COMPLETE goof-off. He lost his place to live through no fault of his own and can't afford the costs of moving into an apartment for himself. OP COULD have taken the young man's Dad up on his offer to pay the rent that his son owed OP, but for whatever reason she didn't.
Also, OP might not feel so resentful if she had demanded from the start that the nephew do chores around the house, and OP should have not been doing stuff like packing his lunch or washing his clothes if she didn't want to. He could easily have been doing these things all along but OP did them for him, so that's HER part in all this.
However, the major problem and what makes the situation impossible is the pot thing. OP is not clear if the nephew smokes in her home or not. I certainly hope he doesn't. The fact that the nephew continued to smoke pot even when he knew he was getting a chance at a well paid job remains the deal breaker in all this for me. That shows that the nephew values pot smoking more than he values finding a job that would apparently have allowed him to stand on his own two feet.
Given all of the above and given the OP's distress over having the nephew continue to live in her home, I agree with those who suggested that OP help the nephew find his own place. It sounds like the Dad could kick in some funds toward this, as well. OP will be happier, I suspect the NEPHEW will be happier, the entire family will be happier with this conflict resolved. Unless rents in Tennessee are astronomically out of reach, this seems the common sense solution to me.
Good summary on the situation. This thread is already entirely too long. In my culture, family does help one another within reason, but it seems that this is no longer an option.
Op, go ahead and tell him to leave, don't throw his clothes out as you could be sued for that or take his stuff, but tell him he has to go now. You will be happy, he will be happy, and everyone else will be happy that they no longer have to see this ridiculous thread anymore.
Yeah, it's been long and somewhat confusing. Now the OP posts about some possible job for the nephew as a painter and hopes he gets off his "lazy ass." Seems to be going around in circles here. Maybe she just needs to vent. At any rate, I have nothing more to offer in this thread either.
Actually, I don't think I was clear with my question. I was just wondering if your husband was onboard with you.
Yes, he is..but he is not as hard on him as he should be..know what I mean?
Thanks for all the advice! I do appreciate it, and will step up to the plate.
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