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I have other schools in mind in places like Texas, a couple schools there are near family so I have to consider it. But further east is an option I've wanted to float because I've always wanted to do it.
Then go for it! The deepest regrets you will have in your life will be over the things you DIDN'T do, rather than the ones you did.
Your Dad's comments about n**ville really gave me pause. My Mother was a horrible racist and bigot. Her attitude over the years only became worse rather than better. It was very toxic being in her presence, and I used to be ashamed to go anywhere with her because she'd do something like point with her finger at an African American somewhere and loudly exclaim "Look at the big lips on that N* !" Everyone would turn around and stare at her and I wanted to sink under the floor and die.
I'm sure your Dad means well underneath it all, but why subject yourself to such an unpleasant attitude just so he won't have to be alone or something?
Last edited by Colorado Rambler; 07-13-2013 at 11:06 PM..
Reason: Whoops! Wrong gender.
A couple Confederate flags I have (I'm quite a student of the Civil War), I'm just trying to see the logic in his thought since the state in question has it as it's state flag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Amazingly enough COLLEGE is actually for getting an actual education NOT learn how to party until you puke on everyone's shoes.
Apparantly your sister is more knowledgeable about finances and how to handle money. Perhaps you should get some tips from her on how she did it.
My sister almost never has money to spend, this job at the same store as me that she has, is literally her first job EVER and she moved into a house that my dad owns, so he can make it affordable for her.
A couple Confederate flags I have (I'm quite a student of the Civil War), I'm just trying to see the logic in his thought since the state in question has it as it's state flag.
My sister almost never has money to spend, this job at the same store as me that she has, is literally her first job EVER and she moved into a house that my dad owns, so he can make it affordable for her.
That does put an entirely new light on the situation. Anyway, just because your Dad has been diagnosed with Diabetes does not mean YOU have to take care of him. HE actually has to do that himself.
Go where you want to go and do not let your Dad "guilt" you into staying in his home and doing what he wants you to do. He sounds very toxic to me and I would work as quickly as possible to get away from him and pursue the goals you have chosen for your life.
Keep in mind though, once you move out of his home you really should not ever consider going back to live with him. Things will be much worse then than they are now.
That does put an entirely new light on the situation. Anyway, just because your Dad has been diagnosed with Diabetes does not mean YOU have to take care of him. HE actually has to do that himself.
Go where you want to go and do not let your Dad "guilt" you into staying in his home and doing what he wants you to do. He sounds very toxic to me and I would work as quickly as possible to get away from him and pursue the goals you have chosen for your life.
Keep in mind though, once you move out of his home you really should not ever consider going back to live with him. Things will be much worse then than they are now.
Agreed, my mom was horrible and abusive, just like your father. She said some racist stuff too, but it died later on. I guess she would be considered a bigot. OP, I have a degree in history as well, what is it that you are wanting to do with your degree and what jobs are you looking for. Set yourself up for success, and not failure. As CSD put it, once you leave, do NOT go back! I tried to go back several times and my mom would not have it. To her I was out. It was only a decade later that I realized that I had been disowned, they just never told me to my face. So do what you think is right, personally I don't know how I feel about an MA in History. What is it that you want to do? As for the confederate flag, well I know you might like it for the historical aspect, but you have to understand that a lot of people see it as a sign of racism just like jews see the swastika as a sign of oppression. Anyways, do what is best for you and make sure that like a chess game, there are no wasted moves, make sure you have a plan A, B, AND C. Good luck!
That does put an entirely new light on the situation. Anyway, just because your Dad has been diagnosed with Diabetes does not mean YOU have to take care of him. HE actually has to do that himself.
Go where you want to go and do not let your Dad "guilt" you into staying in his home and doing what he wants you to do. He sounds very toxic to me and I would work as quickly as possible to get away from him and pursue the goals you have chosen for your life.
Keep in mind though, once you move out of his home you really should not ever consider going back to live with him. Things will be much worse then than they are now.
Like I stated earlier, he is much more cooled off than he was a couple years ago, especially since grandma passed away.
Right after the episode with wanting to throw me out over my major, he had me move in with my sick grandma (in return for continuing to support me for college) and to this day I still don't feel it was right that he pressured me just as much on my grades and that I wasn't "applying myself" when I wasn't getting much sleep because of grandma's dementia driven night terrors and had to deal with the common conditions of her alzheimers everyday.
I don't like it that I have cousins who married into a particular local black family, and unfortunately that family perfectly fits the N-word stereotype, they and my cousins have been in-and-out of prison and deal drugs and because I bring up Mississippi I get likened to them. Got made fun of about it on the way to dinner tonight too.
Get your dad to go to Oxford; he will be surprised. He needs to be careful wherever he goes though. Racism is frowned upon everywhere (as it should be), even in the deep South.
Get your dad to go to Oxford; he will be surprised. He needs to be careful wherever he goes though. Racism is frowned upon everywhere (as it should be), even in the deep South.
I'm just going to save up money and get out by the end of next Summer, he even told me he wouldn't go back to Mississippi.
When I first brought up going to college back east when I was 16, he didn't like the idea even then. So I'm just going to apply and if I can get accepted I'm getting out.
Location: Central Bay Area, CA as of Jan 2010...but still a proud Texan from Houston!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid
It was nursing at first in 2007, dad forced me into that "your going to college to get a job that makes good money" he said, thus my college years began at the age of 16. I was terrible at nursing, I didn't want to be in it, I failed the CNA program and it is still a blight on my records. I changed over to history, and for 3 solid years that went very well.
Then around 2010 I graduated and walked with my class, got sent my degree in the mail only to learn that the Universities I was applying to back then (NAU and UA) were not accepting it. Turns out the CC I was going to forwarded me my degree by mistake, dad all of a sudden didn't like my history degree and bugged me relentlessly for months on how useless and godawful it was.
Didn't help by the end of the year we were forcefully moved from the house by the government (lucky us, we restored a HUD, we get to move into it). And I'm spinning my wheels in my final math class that is giving me trouble, one afternoon in April 2011 he comes home fuming pissed off from his Administration job at the city he sees me sitting at the computer and calls me a useless M-F'ing POS this-and-that with a POS useless major, I tell him where to stuff his opinion, and we pretty much shout the F-word at each other until the early morning hours where it all ends with a "NO HISTORY BULL****!!! CHANGE YOUR MAJOR! NOW!!!", I was unconfident and emotionally drained from the whole thing, didn't help I was into a girl that didn't like me back and I had a sweet little encounter with her earlier in the day.
We battle again a few months later when I fail the class, and it ends with me moving in with my grandma, getting no emotional support for the whole thing and not passing the math class again. Grandma had alzheimers, night terrors and everything. In 2012, a friend of mine dies, and I don't take it well. I pass the math class, get my degree and a couple weeks later grandma dies.
Here I am now, going to the same CC, but the CC now is an ASU satellite campus and I'm less than a year away from my BA in IDS (Interdisciplinary Studies, business basically). And I want to get back into history for graduate school. And as I said above dad doesn't want me going to Mississippi or Tennessee, Texas, etc (N*ggerville, as he puts it).
Thanks for sharing the story. First thing I would do is get out from living with your dad. He is mentally abusive and self esteem damaging...believe me the damage has already been done by both of you.
Second you really won't understand what it takes to live on your own while living with your family. Once out on your own you might come to realized that yes you love studying History but it does not pay well even at the University level working as a Professor. I personally would not like nursing either (no offense against nurses but I have no desire to work as one). There are many other well paying medical professions with good schools in TX to attend. Pharmacy, Clinical Laboratory Sciences, Molecular Genetics, Dentistry, Physical Therapy, etc.. These professions will enable you to work anywhere in the world and have a stable good income.
If math and science are not your cup of tea try and make them your cup of tea. It will change you as a person and you will see the world from a different perspective. It is a disappointment that many Americans don't want to pursue degrees that involve math or science. If I can do it anyone can! I came from the most poverty stricken abusive upbringing than anyone I have ever met. It inspired me to get out of that situation and never look back. It was very difficult to work my way through college taking very challenging courses that required extra effort in studying since I did not posses study skills when I first started college. It was the most difficult thing I ever did...but I made it!!!! This was many years ago but believe me I would not have gotten far in life if I had not chosen degrees (I have 2 science degrees) that provided me a good salary and many growth options. I am not sure what salary range or growth options you will have with a History degree?
I don't see having a History degree as a bad thing I actually love history but I could not make a good living from it.
Getting out on your own and seeing how expensive it is to live just to a modest lifestyle will be the biggest lesson you could learn at this point in your life. Nothing worse in life than having no options due to making little money. Or from making one or two lifetime mistakes. At your age that would important to keep in the front of your mind. Lifetime mistakes are just what they are. They are permanent.
Financial independence was the most important thing for me to have. I did not want to have marry someone for money or play the sugar daddy game and believe me I easily could have gone that route. But once I became free and independent that world did not appeal to me. Being intelligent and having financial independence was very important to me. From my upbringing I experienced first hand what options a women with just a high school education who has kids with an abusive husband can lead her in life. Total misery and not many options. No thanks I gladly passed on that. I made it because I had drive and ambition. I never expected anyone to do anything for me...nice feeling to be that independent. Besides you never have anyone to be disappointed with anyone or anyone wasting your time. Believe me people are good at wasting your time. Get those folks out of your life when you are on a mission. If you don't it will take you twice as long to accomplish your goals.
Your life will improve drastically once you distance yourself from the abusive dysfunctional setting in your parents house.
I wish you the best of luck and tons of encouragement. I am speaking from my own experience and nothing else.
Thanks for sharing the story. First thing I would do is get out from living with your dad. He is mentally abusive and self esteem damaging...believe me the damage has already been done by both of you.
Second you really won't understand what it takes to live on your own while living with your family. Once out on your own you might come to realized that yes you love studying History but it does not pay well even at the University level working as a Professor. I personally would not like nursing either (no offense against nurses but I have no desire to work as one). There are many other well paying medical professions with good schools in TX to attend. Pharmacy, Clinical Laboratory Sciences, Molecular Genetics, Dentistry, Physical Therapy, etc.. These professions will enable you to work anywhere in the world and have a stable good income.
If math and science are not your cup of tea try and make them your cup of tea. It will change you as a person and you will see the world from a different perspective. It is a disappointment that many Americans don't want to pursue degrees that involve math or science. If I can do it anyone can! I came from the most poverty stricken abusive upbringing than anyone I have ever met. It inspired me to get out of that situation and never look back. It was very difficult to work my way through college taking very challenging courses that required extra effort in studying since I did not posses study skills when I first started college. It was the most difficult thing I ever did...but I made it!!!! This was many years ago but believe me I would not have gotten far in life if I had not chosen degrees (I have 2 science degrees) that provided me a good salary and many growth options. I am not sure what salary range or growth options you will have with a History degree?
I don't see having a History degree as a bad thing I actually love history but I could not make a good living from it.
Getting out on your own and seeing how expensive it is to live just to a modest lifestyle will be the biggest lesson you could learn at this point in your life. Nothing worse in life than having no options due to making little money. Or from making one or two lifetime mistakes. At your age that would important to keep in the front of your mind. Lifetime mistakes are just what they are. They are permanent.
Financial independence was the most important thing for me to have. I did not want to have marry someone for money or play the sugar daddy game and believe me I easily could have gone that route. But once I became free and independent that world did not appeal to me. Being intelligent and having financial independence was very important to me. From my upbringing I experienced first hand what options a women with just a high school education who has kids with an abusive husband can lead her in life. Total misery and not many options. No thanks I gladly passed on that. I made it because I had drive and ambition. I never expected anyone to do anything for me...nice feeling to be that independent. Besides you never have anyone to be disappointed with anyone or anyone wasting your time. Believe me people are good at wasting your time. Get those folks out of your life when you are on a mission. If you don't it will take you twice as long to accomplish your goals.
Your life will improve drastically once you distance yourself from the abusive dysfunctional setting in your parents house.
I wish you the best of luck and tons of encouragement. I am speaking from my own experience and nothing else.
+1 on this..the only thing science wise that would interest me is virology, but I don't think any universities offer it down here.
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This was many years ago but believe me I would not have gotten far in life if I had not chosen degrees (I have 2 science degrees) that provided me a good salary and many growth options. I am not sure what salary range or growth options you will have with a History degree? 
