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Why get so upset by it? Just don't answer the phone. Same with getting text messaging. I always get random text messages, IMs. I answer them in the morning. and guess what? The world didn't end . . .
When this happens, I ignore the phone calls, as it doesn't matter if I am asleep or not. Pretty soon, these inconsiderate family members get the "message", even after I explicitly say, DO NOT call me during such hours. I turn off my phone on occasion if it gets ridiculous, but rarely it does. Because I could get work calls in the night (although rare) - I cannot turn my phone off most of the time.
I also tell them that I do not take calls when I am asleep (Repeatedly anyway). If they start "war-dialing" like calling over and over in a short period of time, I take even more time to call them back if I even do. One of my family members is elderly and has a very short-term memory, so what I do is start ignoring the calls on a regular basis if this threshold is met too many times (meaning they call me late in the evening / middle of the night).
In recent years, I have had only had a problem with family members doing this, not my friends. During the work week, I never call *anyone* after 8:30 pm or so unless there is some unusual reason (emergency)
I learned something by reading this thread. I always thought that the "magic cut off time" was 9:00 PM (unless I know that the person prefers an earlier time). Now I found out that more people than I realized use 8:30 or even 8:00 PM as their "too late to call" time. Thanks.
I learned something by reading this thread. I always thought that the "magic cut off time" was 9:00 PM (unless I know that the person prefers an earlier time). Now I found out that more people than I realized use 8:30 or even 8:00 PM as their "too late to call" time. Thanks.
I guess that 8 pm cut off time came about when the kids were little. Ya wanna really p*ss me off? You do? Okay, well, you just call me after I've finally gotten my little ones down to sleep......and risk waking them up, so I have to go throught that damn bedtime fight again! Ummmm yeah....grew pretty passionate about that. LOL
To me, 8 pm is a fair and rational cut off time for someone to be calling me. Again, I'm most likely not going to answer my phone.
Here's what used to happen......
A) "Hey! Where were ya last night? I called.Don't you ever pick up your phone!?"
B) "Uh yeah....about that. I don't answer my phone after 8 pm...just kind of a rule I have, soooo if you want to talk to me on the phone, your best bet is either try me between __ and __ or __ and __!"
A) "Seriously? You won't pick up the phone...even for ME!?"
B) "Look, it's nothing against YOU. It's not like I'm trying to avoid YOU personally. It's just that once that magic hour rolls around, I'm DONE....emotionally, physically done. No one exists except my family after 8 pm."
A) "But that's the best TIME for me. It's when I get things done and finally have time to talk."
B) "Well hey, I've got an idea! If you feel like you need to share something with me and it's after 8 pm, just shoot me an email. I check my email and FB messages every morning, around 4 am and will write you back!"
Seriously, if people in my life can't respect that, I-do-not-want-them-in-my-life. I'm not going to change my house rules, simply because an "outsider" thinks it's inconvenient for them. The way I figure it, I wasn't born to be a "convenience" to others. If they are rude, inconsiderate, selfish and self-centered people, who have zero respect or consideration for me and/or mine, I don't WANT them in my life.
I run into this problem often (because I have poor boundaries and am too nice), and yes, the number one remedy to this is not to answer. Many people responded with this answer, and it's true. It's the only option. If you tell friends/family you go to bed early, their eyes grow wide like you just landed from another planet, and they insist on calling anyway.
I had a friend who liked to call me at 1am 2am 3am because "he wanted to talk to someone". I never picked up as I turn off my phone before sleep. Even after I told him I'm sleeping during those hours he kept calling. For some reason he thought it was OK. I find such behavior really weird and perhaps an indication of deeper issues and he's no longer a friend.
I use the Do Not Disturb setting on my phone. No calls or sounds between 10pm and 7am. Works like a charm and I don't have to remember to put my phone on silent (or off).
I am always concerned if I miss certain calls it would end up being a family member who is ill, namely my mother.
My favorite call was some Jackass telemarketer and I finally told him, "Look, I'm ill and do not need to talk now." Hi answer to that was "Then why did you pick up the phone." I said, "Look, ********, I really don't need **** with you - please hang up and do not call again. How dare you."
This has to be one of my favorite telemarketer call pranks I've ever heard and I have no idea how this guy does it without cracking himself up.
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