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There's so many worse things that people do to blow me off that if I worried about a relative stranger forgetting me, I'd have gone crazy by now.
Friends blow off my holiday wishes texts. Other friends blow off my attempts to hang out with them. Facebook friends announce they'll be in my town and when I try and be cordial and ask them to hang, they blow me off.
In the past, I have actually welcomed not being remembered because I think I have a 'unique' physical appearance. Not being remembered means that they thought of me as just another guy.
That's part of why I think people remember me more than I remember them. I am an abnormally tall woman, otherwise I am as plain and ordinary-looking as you can get. When I first entered the work world, I used to be surprised when people who were merely acquaintances recognized me--I figure I have a face that would blend in any crowd. Then I realized, "Doofus, you are sticking up above everyone else. THAT'S how they know you" I think I put myself into denial when I hit this height at 14, not wanting to accept that I was different, and it took a some time into adulthood to acknowledge that people are always going to view me as a freak to some degree. And people are going to remember me for that reason.
As for friends blowing you off, sometimes you just have to make a decision to dump them. I have a "friend" who currently lives/works in another country, but she comes back here to visit her mom and brother who live in my area. The past three or four trips back (she travels home two or three times a year), I got an email from her saying, "Oh sorry, meant to get together, but family took up all my time, blah blah blah..." which is pretty fair and understandable...the first couple of times. The last time she wrote this was back in August, when she assured me we'd get together for dinner in December when she got back home. Haven't heard a peep. How much do you want to bet I'll get the tired old "next time" message in the next week or two? I've decided to no longer respond to any of her messages. I'm not important enough to be in her life, so she's not important enough to be in mine. Meanwhile, she writes in between, pushing her writer son's obscure on-line publications and asking everyone to click on them to get him points or recognition or whatever. Done with that.
OP, self centered much? Do you also feel the world must revolve around you? First off, people do have memory problems when it comes to people they casually meet, especially 6 months later. In those 6 months you may have changed your hair color and style as well as different makeup causing you to look different for those who only casually met you six months prior. The person you met may have also met hundreds of people since your meeting and your meeting was replaced in her memory by more important memories. Next time this situation happens, instead of focusing on "you", try being a little more understanding and considerate of the forgetful person. Politely remind them of your name and meeting. They're embarassed about forgetting. Don't add your attitude to their embarrassment.
Besides, read the OP--she said she was one of a group of regulars at a dive bar. In other words, she's wondering why a group of drunks don't remember her, or why the bartender doesn't remember a person who was part of a particular group of drunks.
Besides, read the OP--she said she was one of a group of regulars at a dive bar. In other words, she's wondering why a group of drunks don't remember her, or why the bartender doesn't remember a person who was part of a particular group of drunks.
I'm a guy not a girl, ( never drunk ) just a couple of drinks and yes this place does not have many people coming through, I was one of about 10-15 regulars and frequented the place several times a week for about 4 years straight and during that time we had several conversations with each other.
So I'm not being self centered I just find it completely fascinating that some people have that bad of memory. Maybe my mind works differently but I remember practically every person I've ever encountered, I could meet someone for 10 minutes and recollect that meeting several years later if not right away than within a few minutes.
But for another spin on this topic, has anyone suspected that the person who claims not to remember you, is actually faking it? There's been times were I swore someone was pretending not to remember me because the last encounter we had was in some way unpleasant or confrontational. I'm thinking this is a way of them to start all over from scratch and pretend like nothing happened.
Also sometimes people may pretend not to know who you are to disassociate themselves from you due to some sort of political issue or popularity thing, just to send a message to other people in the area " hey I don't know this guy" if the feel that doing so will favor them in some way.
I'm not saying either of these apply to my scenario with the girl bartender, but I think some people occasionally do this from time to time, so it may not always be a memory thing after all.
I don't expect people to automatically remember who I am either, especially if we crossed paths at a large meeting, gathering, etc. Heck, I forget myself.
There is a woman here who has a daughter my oldest age, they have even been in the same class together 2x throughout elementary school ( they are both 10yrs old..). I have met her on SeEVERAL ocassions and have been at a few social events as well and yet, every time, when someone introduces us, she says " Nice to meet you". The last time I did say something like " we met at (so &so's) party and she says "ohhhh right, I remember".
It is irritating to me because once or twice I could see, but we have mutual friends & are at all the school activities.
I truly believe it is because I am not from this area and she was born/raised/ went to college/never left,etc...
& she has no time for a transplant.
So, I will just say "hi" the next time we run into eachother, but I have no time for her either, honestly.
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LOL!
