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A while back, you mentioned "boundaries", and I got the impression you'd spelled out those boundaries to your aunt, and she'd gone right through them.
Boundaries work better, in my experience, if you yourself are very clear about what they are, and are able to manage your communication with difficult people (aka your aunt) so that you don't even come near those boundaries.
It's not necessary to spell your boundaries out to her - she would very likely take this as being very offensive and adversarial. So instead, be very aware of your boundaries, but keep it light, keep yourself at a safe distance, and if she starts in again and things start to escalate, remember something very important you absolutely have to do right then which will remove you from her presence. Plan likely scenarios ahead of time when you know you will be with your aunt. Be as pleasant and nonconfrontational as possible, courteous and polite, and tell her the good stuff that going on in your life. The innocuous, superficial good stuff, that is. Do this not for just her, but for you.
Also, read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" for some very good suggestions about communicating with people who have issues similar to those you've described in your aunt. She may well love you very much, but have so much going on in her own life, both now and in the past, that she is unable to operate any other way with you. So - be compassionate, but keep those boundaries in place, and keep yourself safe.
She takes care of my Grandmother now. But for decades she lived alone. I think you are correct about the situation.
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Originally Posted by CupCake Avenue
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like your aunt is very jealous of you for some reason. That is the only explanation I can give. Or maybe she focuses on the negative aspects going on in your life to deflect the bad things that are occuring in her own. She sounds like a very jealous and manipulative person. Is she married, or live alone?
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