How to deal with family member that likes to gloat about others?

[Koale]

Originally Posted by nj21

Why should I lighten up?

And I never said I don't say these things, but I don't want to engage in an hour long conversation about it.

Did you not see the part where I said that I am happy for them?

I'm sorry. But I'd rather be blunt about it.

And the question says what would you do..not tell me what I should do...

maybe she'll find someone else to share her joy with, huh? If you don't like listening to her
stop associating with her. Or... how about if you try to encourage other discussions. Sounds like you
sit there with your mouth shut and choose to suffer...
Koale

[fallingwater]

I also understand where you are coming from. My MIL is like this. She is super impressed with money and how people spend it. It drives my husband nuts. I blow it off but I guess I dont have the emotional connection that he does. So when she goes on and on, I'm like whatever but I can see my husband gritting his teeth. There are a few family members that are wealthy and my MIL almost squeals every time she gets invited to one of their parties. She is vain and superficial. *shrug*

[ezforum]

I realize that I need to distance myself from a friend who spends the entire day lately talking about how wonderful her life is. I am happy for her and have told her repeatedly but she does not let up from the conversation, even though I try to interject other topics. I am now realizing that it's always been just about her. I wasn't as bothered by it when she came to me for advice and support, at least I felt I had a value in her life at that point. Now, I feel like an outsider even though she says I have been the most influential person in her life and she doesn't know how she would have made it without me. Now appears to be the time to simply validate her wonderful money, her exquisite taste in quality, her fabulous boyfriend and all the wonderful trips they take and glorious dates they go on, her beautiful home and how to make it more beautiful, how physically fit she is, how physically fit he is.... I am happy for anyone to have happiness, it's my belief system. BUT, this exclusive conversation feels so shallow and repetitive. I think we have nothing of substance to talk about. Now that I spent 2 years rehabilitating her back to a full life from when her husband died and left her fully, financially supported at age 50, she has no compassion for anyone because she's so fabulously wealthy and happy. Everybody else is just jealous if they don't want to talk about her fabulousness.

It has makes me grumpy when I'm not otherwise grumpy. I certainly have challenges in life but I generally walk around looking for ways to improve my life and the life of others. My reaction is surprising me because I am all about love and support, but this is not love or support anymore.

Giving her what she views as love and support is just validating her obnoxiousness. After doing a some internet searching on the subject, I have decided that I am just going to distance myself. Eventually, she will see she is boxing herself into a corner and she'll be dependent again on just the guy in her life because she has ostracized all her non-fabulously wealthy friends.

[Georgianbelle]

Maybe she is just trying to make conversation. Some people are hard to read and difficult to talk to, so the rest of us try too hard. We try to think of something happy, like getting on The Voice or a new car. At least she is not negative and whiny. Someone telling me good new of any kind does not bother me. Someone whining about having to listen to good news does.