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I moved a lot my entire life and always made friends, many of which have remained long-term friends.
After I moved to a new region a few years ago, that stopped occurring.
I'm still trying to make friends here and have not given up. I joined a variety of organizations, volunteered, took classes at more than one institution, attended Meetup.com groups and reached out to people all sorts of ways.
This city is not high-crime or esp. large. There has not been a significant change in me that would explain why I easily made and kept friends in many locations for decades, but now cannot do that.
I think people are far less open to making friends and more prone to making friends based on something they want from the other person (other than companionship) than 15-25 years ago
Talk about them . Ask questions, be interested, laugh at their jokes. Find something mutual and highlight that. Slowly reveal who you are through conversation. People like happy people! No one seeks out depressing, boring people! Think of the people you like and how they treat you and emulate that. Give compliments. Good luck!!
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,138,920 times
Reputation: 11862
You're not alone, bro. These days it is getting harder to make friends. Most people make real friends through school, university, and perhaps something else they do regularly like church, sports, a club.etc. It seems weirder today to make friends out of pure acquaintances, even though, ironically, it's easier than ever to make shallow friends or 'Facebook friends.'
I used to have trouble getting people to hang out with me too...wait, I still do, difference is I don't care as much anymore. Most of my friends I've met through the net, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I think you have to 'put yourself out there' so to speak. Being a follower/sheep is also a good option, since it seems in uni people who conformed/hung around others like a bad smell seemed to just make themselves friends by default.
It's almost annoying how some people still hang out with their high school friends. Maybe it's a touch of jealousy, but good for them I guess.
I don't know because I am a lone wolf and have been so for the last 16 years.
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