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I been reading this forum for a while now. It seems that people are eager to bash the areas they have moved to. The Carolinas take a beating. I moved from Long Island to Syracuse. Many things are quite the same and many things are different. It is still a very difficult adjustment. It is hard to pin piont the differences and when you break it down, one is not necessarily better that the other. My family is eager to move back to LI as we are planning it now. Every one here agrees this place is beautiful it is just too hard to make the adjustment. It is very hard for teenage kids and can be lonely for everyone as we do not have the strong social circle and community that we were once part of. We are now outsiders a bit.
My advise to people is; take long hard consideration before moving a teenage kid, regardless of their approval.
Don't be so quick to put down your current area, the grass always does appear greener on the otherside. I have two good freinds both in the Carolinas who would give their right arm to be back in the NYC suburban area.
Don't be so quick to be critical of the new area. If it is not working out then fine, it doesn't mean that it is necessarily bad. The areas you moved may not be bad, just your decision to move was.
Finally, if you are going to move, everyone in that family must be ready to take on that challenge and realize it's difficulties. They must be prepared to proactively counter them. That means getting involved in the schools and the community. I know it sounds corny, but it gets lonely when you don't know anyone. It also means they must be prepared to weather the storm and not retreat at the first feeling of solitude, it will pass.
I am sorry upstate NY didn't work out for you. When we moved here, almost 2 years ago, my oldest son was entering 9th grade. The others were entering 5, 7th and K. The transistion was the easiest for my kindergartner. It took my eldest son a full year + to stop hating the move--and he was the one who was all for it. We hung in there and now he is happy. The others were fine. High school is tough and we thought entering at 9th would be okay. The problem with small towns is that these kids have been together all their lives and it is hard to break in.
Good luck on your move back to LI.
Joanne
I been reading this forum for a while now. It seems that people are eager to bash the areas they have moved to. The Carolinas take a beating. I moved from Long Island to Syracuse. Many things are quite the same and many things are different. It is still a very difficult adjustment. It is hard to pin piont the differences and when you break it down, one is not necessarily better that the other. My family is eager to move back to LI as we are planning it now. Every one here agrees this place is beautiful it is just too hard to make the adjustment. It is very hard for teenage kids and can be lonely for everyone as we do not have the strong social circle and community that we were once part of. We are now outsiders a bit.
My advise to people is; take long hard consideration before moving a teenage kid, regardless of their approval.
Don't be so quick to put down your current area, the grass always does appear greener on the otherside. I have two good freinds both in the Carolinas who would give their right arm to be back in the NYC suburban area.
Don't be so quick to be critical of the new area. If it is not working out then fine, it doesn't mean that it is necessarily bad. The areas you moved may not be bad, just your decision to move was.
Finally, if you are going to move, everyone in that family must be ready to take on that challenge and realize it's difficulties. They must be prepared to proactively counter them. That means getting involved in the schools and the community. I know it sounds corny, but it gets lonely when you don't know anyone. It also means they must be prepared to weather the storm and not retreat at the first feeling of solitude, it will pass.
Gee Glen, I'll be sorry to see you go. I know you were very happy to be in Baldwinsville. This same thing happened to my uncle who moved to Utica from White Plains when his kids were in high school. They made him move back. Can't help but think it would have been different if they'd moved here closer to family where they had a social network.
There's something to say about being able to go to somebody else's house and be able to put your feet up on the coffee table. It's also comforting to see people about town you might not know but are use to seeing around in a small town anyway. You can overlook a lot because of it.
Having not moved (yet--lol)...after reading these forums after Dh had a chance to do the carolinas thing last year on a NY salary...we chose to hold out for a place that jived with us better. The job was in south carolina and we met only nice people, that welcomed us..but it was going to be a corporate relo..so maybe things worked differently.
Anyway, I just have to add...reading these post about the bashing (especially about the carolinas)....I only have to wonder..did those that move due their complete due diligence? I mean its totally one thing to move after one or two scouting/vacation trips...and just think "wow, look how much house we can get there, wow look at the weather, wow this and wow that". But its totally another thing to spend months doing some solid research, visiting more than 2 times and NOT when you are taking a vacation, spending a week in the town, visiting the schools, asking the questions...even meeting with recruiters, and headhunters personally and state that you are planning on moving and want to work with someone to find a good paying job.
And some find their groove and love it, others absolutely hate it because it doesnt resemble things that they truly do miss.
You cant have it both ways, people have been moving from state to state for the past zillion years, its not unheard off..I cant stand the name transplants....what about, "we just moved" due because we found a job..or we wanted to get away from the hub-bub of the city.
Selling your home, cashing in on the equity and plunking it down on a new home, without some real plan, no job, no real research (except a couple of vacation trips) ...isnt a safe bet in my opinion. I am not saying everyone does it that way. But it seems like people get out on the NYC/boroughs/ NJ area in droves.
And no offense to the Natives of NY (not a native NYer but from the west coast)..what is with the complaint of "I cant get a decent pizza, the food is awful". I mean come on, are you serious? After making a life decision, you bash the new place you and then complain about pizza and food? Did anyone honestly think that you could relocate the stores, pizza, and other nuances that you love about NY to the new place? And did you not realize that its a hotter climate before you moved..so why complain about the heat either?
And then you wonder why the new state that you move to cannot stand it or the constant "In new york we have this, IN NY we do it this way---....if you want NY in Carolina..then you are better staying in ny right?
Its like complaining about Maryland crab cakes or Maine lobster after moving to say the midwest. It doesnt make sense.
Each state and parts of a state have their nuances, cultures and customs..and if you want to move there, personally I think you have to leave the chip and attitude (no matter what state you hail from originally) and embrace what he new state has to offer. If someone did indeed do their due diligence, then in theory there shouldnt be a problem.
Dont get me wrong..I think there are certain times (christmas time in the city) and seeing a that first dusting of snow are magical..and yes..I yield to the fact that I have never tasted such pizza here, the people are vivacious and have lots of spunk. But if you are looking to move, there are much for factors that you need to look at..it shouldnt be such a quick decision. JMHO dont mean to offend.
Mom2, You are very on target about your comments on lack of proper research. It is absolutely the case with some of the people I know. They see a big beautiful home, palm trees and a nice price tag and they jump too quickly. It's a hard lesson too learn. For us It was a bit different, but we did not properly estimate the difficulty aclimating teenage kids.
Sgoldie, I think you're on target as well. We have the small town feel here and it's great. Everyone know everyone, except us. I was prepared to overcome that but it has proven to be to difficult on evryone. I'll never put down this area. I suffer some frustrations but that will happen anywhere. Central New York is a beautiful place and I am fortunate to be able to keep a small summer camp up here. Glen
It's all what you make of it. I am guilty of making it great and NOT making it great. But, I realize that basically, it was me to blame for the good and the bad. I have moved to new places that I embraced the culture and have mve to new places that I resisted because I missed my friends and lie in the old place. Looking back, I regret those places that I didn't mke th best of it. It's really all up to you!
Mom2, You are very on target about your comments on lack of proper research. It is absolutely the case with some of the people I know. They see a big beautiful home, palm trees and a nice price tag and they jump too quickly. It's a hard lesson too learn. For us It was a bit different, but we did not properly estimate the difficulty aclimating teenage kids.
Sgoldie, I think you're on target as well. We have the small town feel here and it's great. Everyone know everyone, except us. I was prepared to overcome that but it has proven to be to difficult on evryone. I'll never put down this area. I suffer some frustrations but that will happen anywhere. Central New York is a beautiful place and I am fortunate to be able to keep a small summer camp up here. Glen
Glen-- Totally agree with you when you have older kids..its awful moving when the cliques have already been formed..unless you have kids that are smart and beautiful (all parents think there kids are of course)..but lets be honest, we have been thru high school before..and if the new kids in town has the appeal to jump into the "popular crowd"--then its an easier acclamation..but for the rest of the majority..its not so easy. All we can do is parents is help make that transition easier.
And its great to see a totally mature attitude on realizing that there are give an takes....Its so easy to blame the world for why you are unhappy..but sometimes as the previous poster LBSING said "its what you make of it"..
You can cry till you are blue in the face, you can be angry that you made a wrong choice and blame the world for it and not take responsibility, or you can make the best of it and formulate a plan on what you can do to make it better.
There are times when I can Stand NY and miss So Cal desperately..BUT..this is where my kids were born, and I have made great friends and there are truly some great things that I love about the state..the rush of energy every time I go into the city...its not just the city..but a total feeling. Kwim? Okay, lets get the pizza out of the way..yes..its very nice to have even up here in the hudson valley a pizza place practically everywhere in case you want a slice.
But if and when we move, I know that we will have to adjust and learn the new things, and if I miss the old that is fine..but I cant blame or bash others for what I chose to move away from kwim?
We recently moved to the Capital area from Colorado so we can be closer to my wife's family in the Adirondacks (and where she grew up). It's been an adjustment for me because l have lived in Nebraska and Colorado my whole life. I'm giving it the best shot I can but it's coupled with the difficulty of finding work with my unique background. However, my wife found work quickly. Stil, it's a hit to the ego makes things more difficult to adjust.
I miss the mountains and the wide open spaces of Colorado. I moved here to be close to areas like the Adirondacks but I'm getting sick of being closed in with all of these trees...who woulda thunk? However, I still think it's beautiful up here. If I can just find more hills and meadows...
Anyway, I'm trying to see as much as I can. The pizza is fantastic, the humidity is bareable, and most people are extremely nice...even with their tough accents.
It'll get better, I just need to adjust and make some dough.
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However, I still think it's beautiful up here. If I can just find more hills and meadows...
