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Someone recently asked this (in the context of being exasperated with ex-NY-staters saying NY state is better than the South, etc.). I think it's a legit question. I hope others will chime in (knowing this group, they will!). Explaining why we left can clarify why we want/don't want to go back, and/or what NY state's gonna have to do to keep more people from leaving.
I left NY state (Buffalo, to be exact) for four main reasons.
1) The best grad school that offered me fellowships was the University of Virginia. I'd gotten into Columbia, and Cornell, but they weren't willing to help me out much. (I wasn't eager to live in NYC, anyway--and I didn't even know where Ithaca was!)
2) Having been brought up in western NY, I was eager to see and live in another part of the country just out of curiosity. I loved Buffalo, but at that time, I hadn't traveled much. I'd seen a bit of Virginia, liked it, and was I just eager to see & know more about it. I'd also heard that North Carolina's Outer Banks were pretty close and a great beach area. I was also curious to learn about the South *as* the South--what it was really like, why it was the way it was, and what I as a social worker (as I'd been in Buffalo) could do to help the people there help themselves. I'd heard Virginia had great fishing, too. I also (real stupidly!) assumed that the great food I'd grown up with in Buffalo was available everywhere.
3) Since my kids hadn't been born yet, I didn't have to think about school quality or the kinds of things kids should (and shouldn't) have in their childhoods from the community and environment around them. I was living for me, and for my career's future.
4) Putting it all in perspective some 22 years later, this last reason is the biggest factor: I didn't know just how great New York state was--what it had to offer both in terms of the variety of its places to live and explore, and the unspoiled *quality* of so many of these human and natural places. The food, the fishing, the architecture, the public schools, yes even the weather--they are all better in many areas of NY state than all the other places I've been and lived since. Had I truly known how great the state was, I doubt I would have wanted to leave it for more than just a few years. As it is, New York state's incredible merits have been the standard by which I've judged the other worthwhile places I've visited or lived. I'm glad for my travels and for living outside of New York state, of course. And sure, home is where you make it. But there's more of what *makes* a place feel like home for me and my family in New York state than I've seen elsewhere. Given what I've seen of the worsening physical and emotional isolation, imbalance, disconnection from nature, and loss of supportive traditions in our country and culture, I can't help but think that New York state offers much of what others need to feel at home, too. You can't stroll across the village green in Hammondsport, or see the maples ringing the town circle in Angelica against the churches and post office, or see the evening sun turn Gilbertsville's ancient cemetary gold and copper, or walk around Cooperstown in the non-tourist season, or chat with someone who's having a beer on his back porch as you ease down the Erie Canal past monuments of the hard work and loyalty people have put into this country, and not think, "This is the way it oughta be."
And no, I don't work for the New York state tourism board, and I'm not a realtor trying to sell you a bridge in NY state! I just want my kids to be able to bike over to meet their friends on the village green and then go swimming just outside of town, and have neighbors keep an eye on them just as I help out by keeping an eye on their kids, too, as I was able to experience. The handsome old tavern next to the gorgeous old church across the street from the town gazebo that the townfolk chipped in to get repainted in time for those incredibly green, cool-at-night summers--the fresh snow in the spires of the spruces--the old lady sweeping a Victorian porch gingerbreaded like a frosted open palm of welcome hoping the huge ancient maple that her grandkids are building a tree-house in outlives her--the bikes plopped down unlocked in front of the ancient grocery store with the limited selection and wavering floor where your greatgrandmother shopped and the kid-palm-printed ice cream sandwich freezer window where your own kids, taking it all for granted all over again, go tip-toe to reach waaay in--the cool breath of pure Canada making the wine an impossibly deeper red come mid-September--this is the stuff of civilization and the soul.
Yes, beautifully written. The imagery is iconic, but is it for real? This is the NY I remember from my youth, but I have chalked it up to childish fantasy - of idealizing my experiences all out of proportion. I wish it were true, but I know better. My hometown now suffers from economic depression and blight - it is a shadow of its former grand self. I think that could be said for a lot of towns in upstate NY's "rust belt" or along the Erie Canal.
I've asked myself the same question, and I've done a good deal of hunting around to find out hard economic facts and trends, etc. I sure don't want to move my family to someplace depressing or corrosive. And certainly a lot of the upstate areas, especially the larger cities, have declined badly. I wouldn't want to settle my family in most of Buffalo now, and about 20% of the smaller cities and towns I've checked out have become pretty grim.
But I'm amazed at how many places, across such a wide, varied stretch of the state, remain excellent for raising a family in or retiring to. And even though some of these places are struggling to hold off economic decline, they still offer a cultural depth, warmth, and balance that I haven't seen widely matched elsewhere. The kids plopping down their bikes on their way back from swimming just outside the village, the neighbors knowing and watching out for neighbors, the concerts on the village green, the way people keep saying "I'm going inside in a minute" but keep lingering and savoring the long summer twilights chatting away with neighbors, the *loyalty* to the towns and their incredibly unspoiled traditions--I've seen it all first-hand, in town after town, over the last few years as we've zig-zagged around the state looking for a place to re-settle up there. The decency and civic-mindedness, the ability to slow down and savor a sane pace of life. Everywhere we went: "You should see our new school." "We've got great schools." "Did you see how nicely they rehabbed the old post office?" "My son moved to North Carolina two years ago. He's coming back with his two kids now, though, fixing up the old Victorian next door."
I think that part of what's happened here is that life in upstate was *so* great for several decades, with such an abundance of solid jobs, public and park spaces, and great public services, that its manufacturing decline--a very serious, sad one in a number of specific places--has really stood out. Sort of like the Gremlin vs. the DeSoto phenomenon. No one ever noticed all the rust on my '74 Gremlin. You didn't expect or hadn't experienced anything better. It was a Gremlin, after all. But get a spot of rust on a gorgeous '58 DeSoto, and it looks like a terrible wound. Truly, I'll take a somewhat declined gorgeous old Victorian or Colonial upstate NY village over a violently "vibrant" Sun Belt 'burb any day. The old village green is medicine for the endless parking lot; it bursts the autistic bubble of living inside air-conditioning, gets the satellite life back down to earth. Plus, what looks like decline in upstate NY would be huge turn-around in so many other parts of the country, which never had upstate's beauty, variety, and incredible manufacturing prosperity to begin with. My millionaire sister's kids "live" in a gated "community" in Florida. When it's not broiling hot, they ride 'round and 'round the cul-de-sac in front of the mansions with shrieks about crime in their iPod ears, learning to compare the "family" car against the "neighbors'" cars. Shopping and changing channels is about all they've got. It's as if the swamp that their "community" is built on has mucked up their thinking and feeling. To share and take turns is to let yourself be cheated. They'd have less money, but a lot more *life*, in the human-scale towns of upstate New York. They'd also learn that everybody has to take a turn rowing the boat. I wish I could get us all up there tomorrow!
That was a beautiful post, and it reflects every reason we reside here in NY. Ny may not be the least expensive state to reside, but the enrichment in our communities, true smal town living is at its best in NY. Having grwon up in western NY, I too thought I'd travel, educate myself and then, decide where to plant my roots. After collage in the mid south, I too came home to NY to start my career, to start my adult life. Western NY was home to my family and my families businesses. I started my career in Western NY, and in the late 90's moved northeast to the Adirondacks in search of my inner souls most desired treasure, my soul mate. Almost 8-yrs later, she still is here, but is she here for the long term or will she run back? This I may never know, but I will remain here for this is where she came from, and where she will return to if she leaves at all.
One cannot afford a more desired place to live, as most anyone can be your friend and neighbor. Neighbors do watch out for neighbors and their families and this is just 1 of so many reasons why NY is the best state to live, work in, and retire in, yet if the winter months are too much for you, you can go south only to return in the spring. I find heading south from Jan-May to be most acceptable to me, but maybe not for everyone. I miss my NY when gone, and cannot wait to return to see the beauties of the spring, as the growing season restarts, as it was just a few months ago that the leaves turned their fire-orange and then the maples shead their leaves to prepare for ole man winter. Yes the father north in NY you are the longer the winters are, so its acceptable to me to leave for 3-5 months, but to always return for summer living is at its best in NY. Ice cream at the local drugstore/soda fountain, yes NY still offers such assets, and bicycle rides throughout the Adirondack trails that are endless in supply. The summer cottage that allows for camp fires all summer long as the cool air rises off the lake each evening, only to be melted away by the sun each morning. Heading out to catch a thrilling fight with a Northern Pike as we leave our dock at 6am, to return at 10 for a true NY American breakfast of beacon, canadian beacon, sausage, real NY maple syrup upon homemade pancakes, eggs from a local farmers hens, french toast made from homemade breads, then a shower to start the day off boating, biking, jet skiing, canyoing, paddle boating, etc. Spending the afternoons sharing stories with the neighbors up from NYC for the summer, neighbors from NJ who have found peace and tranquility in the Adirondack lakes, only to return each spring once their children have finished school for the summer. Why does this life have to end, as this is so peaceful, it makes me excited as to how beautiful heaven will be as NY is the most beautiful place here on earth !
Western NY gets into your blood..... driving up the Genesee river valley and seeing all of the scattered farms with pre-civil war farmhouses, charming downtown streets (especially in Bath and Geneseo), and then making it to Rochester, the feeling of home I get, seeing all of the great establishments that have been around forever, walking the peir at Ontario Beach park on a perfect summer day, walking the Promenade on the Erie Canal in Pittsford, taking the hour and a half drive to Niagara falls..... it's all just great. Buffalo feels very simlar to Rochester when I visit there too, that same good ole' Western NY/Great Lakes kind of feel. The LATEST branch of my family tree to have settled in WNY is when my Great grandparents came over from Italy in 1890!, and on my mother's side of the family (greman, french and english, we've been there since the 1790's. People always wine about the winters, but I think the Upstate/Western NY countryside looks it's best just after a nice snowfall, when it's still on all of the tree branches. It's like they say..... you don't know what you've got 'till its gone!
I was just thinking of when a lot of northeners, NYers among them, started to leave for sunnier climates and better job opportunities. We left for California in 1969. My mother hated the winters, and convinced my father to move. Of course, being kids, my sister and I had no say in the matter, but we were devastated. We left a small-ish upstate NY town, and were plunked down in West L.A. Talk about culture shock! Anyway, after we left, it seemed that everyone we knew started moving to Florida - a few came to California, as well. Then, in the 1980's, people from our area upstate started moving to NC for jobs working in the furniture factories there, and other industries. The town I lived in went from a population of about 50-60,000 residents at the time of our move to around 28,000 now. That's what I call a mass exodus!
I grew up in Tidewater VA and I like the Adirondacks more than any other place and I've lived in Boston, NC, Miami, Penn and NYC. Of course I got a big place in my heart for NYC -- used to be I could go to a free Julliard orchestra concert for free, wonder if you can still do that.
Thanks for the nice post!
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New York Will Always Be Home
The Exodus south/west
