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Old 08-13-2013, 09:12 AM
 
Location: West Harlem
6,885 posts, read 9,942,668 times
Reputation: 3062

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 30to66at55 View Post

Is this a cultural thing?
In the way that this is discouraged but dealt with responsibly in some cultures, seen as "the way we do things" in others.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:12 AM
 
8,743 posts, read 18,393,987 times
Reputation: 4168
Well I believe the grumpy replies are due to wanting housing versus needing it. Homeless services should be for people who are HOMELESS, not for people who 'argue alot with family', or "don't like all the clutter' and simply want their own apt that they cannot afford simply because it makes their lives easier...I deserve it right?

It would make it alot easier for me to not deal with my boss, he is ignorant, rude, inconsiderate, and makes my life miserable..so how about someone pay me to stay home, it would make my life easier...I deserve it right? I also don't like taking public transportation..it is dirty, the people are rude, loud, and ghetto..I don't want to be exposed to that so I want private transportation at tax payers expense because it would make my life easier...I deserve it right?

I am all for bettering your self...but not for wanting to exploit very limited resources simply because you want them, not because you are homeless.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:15 AM
 
Location: West Harlem
6,885 posts, read 9,942,668 times
Reputation: 3062
Quote:
Originally Posted by SobroGuy View Post
Well I believe the grumpy replies are due to wanting housing versus needing it. Homeless services should be for people who are HOMELESS, not for people who 'argue alot with family', or "don't like all the clutter' and simply want their own apt that they cannot afford simply because it makes their lives easier...I deserve it right?

It would make it alot easier for me to not deal with my boss, he is ignorant, rude, inconsiderate, and makes my life miserable..so how about someone pay me to stay home, it would make my life easier...I deserve it right? I also don't like taking public transportation..it is dirty, the people are rude, loud, and ghetto..I don't want to be exposed to that so I want private transportation at tax payers expense because it would make my life easier...I deserve it right?

I am all for bettering your self...but not for wanting to exploit very limited resources simply because you want them, not because you are homeless.
I made this point also, earlier on somewhere. The example I used was - I want to move to Paris and the government should pay. I am entitled to this because I want my child to be fluent in French.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Bronx
16,200 posts, read 23,077,407 times
Reputation: 8346
Quote:
Originally Posted by 30to66at55 View Post
This question is not directed to the OP.

Why do young women decide to get pregnant when they can not support their child and do not have the baby's daddy's full financial backing? With all the available birth control it seems like its more of an irresponsible choice than an accident.

Is this a cultural thing?
LOL, oh my god. No its not a cultural thing. How can somebody say that. I can say its more of a generational thing regardless of race and income strata. 1950s is a billion miles away buddy. THe Midwest is mostly white and look how many single women are having out of wed lock babies and still remain single after that.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:18 AM
 
25,556 posts, read 24,018,441 times
Reputation: 10120
The OP did say there isn't enough space in her family's place for herself and for her child. And if she really does argue that much with her family, it can't be that good environment to raise a kid with either. So there's nothing wrong with her talking to professionals who deal with these sorts of matters who are better able and trained to assess this situation.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:19 AM
 
21 posts, read 30,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harlem resident View Post
I made this point also, earlier on somewhere. The example I used was - I want to move to Paris and the government should pay. I am entitled to this because I want my child to be fluent in French.
And "I don't want to deal with the gross NYC shelters, I'll check out Westchester and get an "apartment of my choosing" with a voucher"

I have an elderly Aunt living on a fixed income who is disabled and in dire need of one of those vouchers. She has been on the list for 3 years, and lived in Westchester her entire life. Should someone like OP just be able to swoop in and get a voucher just because she decided to get pregnant?
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:21 AM
 
3,445 posts, read 6,074,429 times
Reputation: 6133
So why do I see so many unmarried black women with many young children? Why?
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
2,894 posts, read 5,912,526 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
Ok. So the OP is actively trying to better herself by going to college and maintaining a good GPA. She's even doing some work, albeit not good paying. Why the grumpy replies?

It's one thing if she isn't trying to do something to improve her life. Things happen. I'm pro-choice, but what are some of you suggesting here? If she can't afford the child, then she should be forced to give it up or abort it? Preaching about contraception and not having unprotected sex is too little, too late. And the comment about "Is it a cultural thing?" is stupid because unplanned pregnancy knows no culture.

I can understand the cynicism, but at least this person -- despite her upbringing -- is trying to break the cycle. I'd rather help someone trying to break out of the circle of despair than someone wanting to continue in it.
I agree with you that the OP is at least going to college. That's a good thing but she admittedly said that she's a junior. So she's got at least two semesters (if not more) left to finish her degree. With a baby on the way and no family or financial support, the endeavor is going be multiple times harder to accomplish.
You mention adoption or abortion. Both, which seem to be monumentally tough decisions to make. I can't give moral guidance but as it stands right now, that unborn child has already all odds stacked against him or her.

Is moving to the dad's place an option? .

I wish she finishes college, I really do, as it will help in the long-run but she seems to be a tough spot right now.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:24 AM
 
25,556 posts, read 24,018,441 times
Reputation: 10120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Newlincolnpark View Post

I have an elderly Aunt living on a fixed income who is disabled and in dire need of one of those vouchers. She has been on the list for 3 years, and lived in Westchester her entire life. Should someone like OP just be able to swoop in and get a voucher just because she decided to get pregnant?
Ah, but aren't we all told as children that life is not fair?

Anyone could come to NYC from wherever, and if HIV positive, get an apartment that way as well. SoBroGuy is right, you'd be surprised at how many people haved moved to NYC and gotten welfare apartments, even in Manhattan itself.

And Emperor Bloomberg ultimately did little to change this. Any cuts he made were because of federal and state cutbacks.

I think NYCHA prioritizes battered women (the OP wasn't claiming that) so I believe in NYC or even in whatever they have in Westchester, if she said domestic violence was an issue with her boyfriend or her family, they'd prioritize her apartment.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:26 AM
 
25,556 posts, read 24,018,441 times
Reputation: 10120
Quote:
Originally Posted by likeminas View Post

Is moving to the dad's place an option? Hopefully it is.

I wish she finishes college, I really do, as it will help in the long-run but she seems to be a tough spot right now.
She said the dad lives with his family. How many 20 year old boys have families that would just take their son's pregnant girlfriend's in? Come on, please tell me you can't be that naive!
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