Any SoCal transplants or returners? (Boston: fit in, real estate, 2015)

[stuckbetween]

I left MA for SoCal in my mid-20s and now after 15 years I’m considering moving my family back there, which to me still feels like “home”. We visit a couple times a year but that’s not the same as being there or being near my extended family. I might clarify that I didn’t leave because I wanted to get out of MA, there were some other factors.

I’m looking for what others experiences have been coming to MA from SoCal. Unfortunately so far the internet thinks that returning would be a terrible life-ruining mistake - based on other’s opinions or stories I have read about, even here. I still remain hopeful and refuse to be convinced or heed these warnings. So, being stubborn, I’m looking for even more data.

Does anyone have experiences to share? Be honest!

[chicagoliz]

I don't have personal experience, but I can say there are several people in our neighborhood who moved from SoCal or were from here, moved there, and moved back. They all liked SoCal but are happy here, too. So there are certainly people whose lives have not been ruined.

Good luck!

[id77]

Originally Posted by stuckbetween

I left MA for SoCal in my mid-20s and now after 15 years I’m considering moving my family back there, which to me still feels like “home”. We visit a couple times a year but that’s not the same as being there or being near my extended family. I might clarify that I didn’t leave because I wanted to get out of MA, there were some other factors.

I’m looking for what others experiences have been coming to MA from SoCal. Unfortunately so far the internet thinks that returning would be a terrible life-ruining mistake - based on other’s opinions or stories I have read about, even here. I still remain hopeful and refuse to be convinced or heed these warnings. So, being stubborn, I’m looking for even more data.

Does anyone have experiences to share? Be honest!

I miss nicer weather most of the year, decent beaches, those classic darker green button-letter signs, and good Mexican food. I don't miss even more pretentious people (or at least pretentious in different ways), the car-everywhere culture and the traffic that comes with it, and having all of the national events (sports, debates, etc) starting 3 hours earlier in the day.

Whether you should return would depend on what's important to you. If you're all about the nice weather and beaches, you're not going to be happy coming back. If you like seeing forests that don't burst into flames every other year, you may be very happy coming back.

[stuckbetween]

LOL I guess the SoCal signage is decent but the lack of exit numbers can be crazy-making until you have imprinted a map of the entire region in your mind, which does come eventually.

[hken]

I have extensive experience (born in Mass, moved west in 2001, married a SoCal girl, moved back in 2015…wife hated it, moved back to SoCal in 2018...wife now has kinda a change of heart...maybe move back?!). BTW we have 3 kids (12, 10, 5) so I have done it all.

My wife was MISERABLE....from the rabid pats fans, to the townies who think lake winnipesaukee is a destination vacation and finally the weather. Physically, it took a toll we weren't expecting...there were days she just didn't want to get out of bed because of the cold or the air pressure. So after 3 years of getting ripped by her, we moved back to SoCal.

The funny thing is, my wife now kinda misses Mass primarily because of the school (plus she loved Market Basket!). We went to a Metrowest public school and it was just far superior in terms of academic and extra-curricula quality. My kids have fonder memories of Mass…playing in the snow, Nashoba after-school, rainy days playing video games etc. It’s interesting because they have spent more years living in California, but the memories in Mass are stronger.

Also SoCal has changed a lot …fires and heat just seem so much worse these days. Although I met my wife in LA, there is no way I would raise them there (we used to live near Malibu but now near Del Mar)

I have been lucky moving because each move benefitted my career and finances. Moving is not cheap and if you have to find a job plus acclimate a spouse to living in Mass, it can be overwhelming. I don’t like “living” in Mass but it’s home and I know my kids would have many good years raised there. Comes down to your spouse’s tolerance for change – good luck

[BosYuppie]

You know what they say. You can’t go home again.

Boston in your late 30’s/early 40’s is a much different experience from Boston in your 20’s.

Boston in 2019, let alone 2020+ is also way, way different from Boston 2005.

Just some food for thought. I would be moving to a cheaper, warmer place if I were looking to make a major move.

[stuckbetween]

Originally Posted by hken

I have extensive experience (born in Mass, moved west in 2001, married a SoCal girl, moved back in 2015…wife hated it, moved back to SoCal in 2018...wife now has kinda a change of heart...maybe move back?!). BTW we have 3 kids (12, 10, 5) so I have done it all.

My wife was MISERABLE....from the rabid pats fans, to the townies who think lake winnipesaukee is a destination vacation and finally the weather. Physically, it took a toll we weren't expecting...there were days she just didn't want to get out of bed because of the cold or the air pressure. So after 3 years of getting ripped by her, we moved back to SoCal.

The funny thing is, my wife now kinda misses Mass primarily because of the school (plus she loved Market Basket!). We went to a Metrowest public school and it was just far superior in terms of academic and extra-curricula quality. My kids have fonder memories of Mass…playing in the snow, Nashoba after-school, rainy days playing video games etc. It’s interesting because they have spent more years living in California, but the memories in Mass are stronger.

Also SoCal has changed a lot …fires and heat just seem so much worse these days. Although I met my wife in LA, there is no way I would raise them there (we used to live near Malibu but now near Del Mar)

I have been lucky moving because each move benefitted my career and finances. Moving is not cheap and if you have to find a job plus acclimate a spouse to living in Mass, it can be overwhelming. I don’t like “living” in Mass but it’s home and I know my kids would have many good years raised there. Comes down to your spouse’s tolerance for change – good luck

Really interesting perspective! Right now we live in LA and know we need to get out. Just navigating getting kids into an OK kinder has been a saga, and we also don’t fit in our living space. We’re considering Metrowest, or our alternate option is down north of San Diego like Del Mar or Carlsbad. Which I know everyone says is basically paradise BUT, I just can’t get over those really crisp clear MA memories. Time just blends together here for sure. Luckily or not, my spouse had lived many years in MA and we met there - no in born Cali roots. He’s mostly concerned about bugs in the summer, which I know are no joke.

We also have one family connection out here which is really positive for us and the kids, but meanwhile away from the rest of everybody in MA. Can’t have it all family-wise unfortunately.

I have probably been kind of like your spouse in that I never really acclimated to be in CA. All those sunny days are just so hard on the soul, KWIM? This is where my stance is difficult to defend, for most people.

[stuckbetween]

Actually hken, I’m really interested to learn more about your school experiences both in Del Mar and metrowest (where)? Since those are exactly the options.

Real estate sucks in both places right now, but metrowest actually has a couple things on the market. The extra indoor and yard space you can buy in MA is appealing, though also necessary since you don’t have year round options to just get out to the nearby park or the beach.

How bad is it getting kids layered up for the cold? How bad is it getting kids covered for the bugs? We have 3 also.

Spouse is permanent remote and my job is temporary remote - but whether we go South or East, I’ll have to handle the job situation when the time comes. I’m thinking the level of risk with my skill set would be about equal in both places. I really would prefer a permanent remote job but that’s another story.

[stuckbetween]

Also, how have the back and forth moves been on your kids? This decision seems so huge because we’re thinking if it a permanent as we’d like to grow some roots (hard to want to in the middle of LA with kids) but I forget there’s always a bailout option if things go sideways.

[hken]

I will send you a direct msg about all your questions but short answer is kids are fine, it's been quite a ride for the whole family!