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Old 03-19-2008, 06:04 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451

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Happiness is seeing Bill Clinton's face on a milk carton

Hard pressed on my right, My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent, I am attacking - Foch, 1914

Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today

 
Old 03-20-2008, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451
He who hesitates is lunch !

He who hesitates is probably right.

He who laughs last probably made a backup
 
Old 03-20-2008, 01:01 PM
 
Location: UP of Michigan
1,767 posts, read 2,400,634 times
Reputation: 5720
Small Town............A place where everybody knows whose check is good.

Taxes..........The thing generally raised on land.
 
Old 03-20-2008, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451
HEY ! is that thing supposed to smoke like that ??

Hey! Who's snorting the Dilithium Crystals???

Home School is the last hope for American freedom
 
Old 03-20-2008, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Central NH
1,004 posts, read 2,346,880 times
Reputation: 1067
Happiness is oweing the IRS $50,000 when you die
Hard-learned lessons are remembered longest
He who hesitates goes after me
 
Old 03-20-2008, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone

How do I set my laser printer to stun ?
 
Old 03-20-2008, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Central NH
1,004 posts, read 2,346,880 times
Reputation: 1067
How come wrong numbers are never busy.

How do I turn the other cheek without getting up?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
Old 03-20-2008, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

I am a male lesbian, a guy attracted to women

I am not a religious man, I am a Christian
 
Old 03-21-2008, 06:30 AM
 
444 posts, read 929,652 times
Reputation: 654
Adversity introduces a man to himself. Anonymous

Fear gives sudden instincts of skill. Coleridge

He who has not lost his head over some things has no head to lose. Richter

The man who lives free from folly is not so wise as he thinks. Unknown
 
Old 03-21-2008, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,485 posts, read 61,466,561 times
Reputation: 30451
I am not breaking the rules, but testing elasticity

I backed up my hard drive and smashed into a bus!

I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!
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