mom moving to LA area with daughter-live/schools?

[Gurbie]

Originally Posted by The Illusive Man

Don't listen to people that say you can't raise children in LA.

Did anyone in this thread say anything remotely like that

[The Illusive Man]

Originally Posted by Gurbie

Did anyone in this thread say anything remotely like that

Maybe not exactly, but I see where this is going and it always ends up with someone saying some sort of variation of LA being anti-family. I'm just trying to balance that out. Some people might have negative experiences with raising a family here, whether it be the schools or something else, but others have had great experiences here. Myself included, as well as various other LA natives that I know.

She can most certainly raise her daughter here. She doesn't have to take silly drastic measures like leaving her daughter back home while she's out here. I mean, what the hell?

[Gurbie]

Originally Posted by The Illusive Man

Maybe not exactly, but I see where this is going and it always ends up with someone saying some sort of variation of LA being anti-family. I'm just trying to balance that out. Some people might have negative experiences with raising a family here, whether it be the schools or something else, but others have had great experiences here. Myself included, as well as various other LA natives that I know.

She can most certainly raise her daughter here. She doesn't have to take silly drastic measures like leaving her daughter back home while she's out here. I mean, what the hell?

This isn't about whether LA is "anti-family".

You got that the OP has no job, no car, and no place to stay, right? (she didn't mention how much cash she has either).

I mean, it's not like she has a good-paying job, got transferred to LA, and is looking for advice on where to live. That would be stressful enough.

But instead, she's starting from zero, hoping to break into a highly competitive industry.

All I'm suggesting is, even with her mom helping, these aren't the optimal circumstances under which to bring a six year old into LA (or really, anywhere else).

[The Illusive Man]

I see what you're saying, but leaving a child behind is a tough decision. I just could never do that if I was in her shoes. Who knows how long it would take? Plus she'll have family with her to help for a time. There's only two choices in my eyes, either she takes her child with wherever she goes her or she stays put and raises her there.

When LA and families are brought up, people always come with plenty of negativity. I wasn't saying what I said to anyone in particular.

[Gurbie]

Originally Posted by The Illusive Man

I see what you're saying, but leaving a child behind is a tough decision. I just could never do that if I was in her shoes. Who knows how long it would take? Plus she'll have family with her to help for a time. There's only two choices in my eyes, either she takes her child with wherever she goes her or she stays put and raises her there.

When LA and families are brought up, people always come with plenty of negativity. I wasn't saying what I said to anyone in particular.

Gotcha

I'm an LA booster too, but I try to be realistic. This is a hard city. There are plans for coming out here that people obviously have thought out, and then there those that don't seem to reflect a lot of thinking.

I think I gave the OP more advice than she was asking for, but it was my honest opinion.

I still wish her luck.

[The Illusive Man]

Originally Posted by Gurbie

Gotcha

I'm an LA booster too, but I try to be realistic. This is a hard city. There are plans for coming out here that people obviously have thought out, and then there those that don't seem to reflect a lot of thinking.

I think I gave the OP more advice than she was asking for, but it was my honest opinion.

I still wish her luck.

I agree, I need to remember that I have and had a larger family support system here than she likely will, so it will be tougher for her. I wish her all the best.

[sohollywould]

Originally Posted by The Illusive Man

I agree, I need to remember that I have and had a larger family support system here than she likely will, so it will be tougher for her. I wish her all the best.

I've had a lot of things going on since I posted this. I do have a potential job to take to move (who would/could move without one???); I was simply looking for good recs on areas to live, good schools, really just any advice--not anyone telling me NOT to move there or to not bring my daughter.

Thanks Illusive for your encouraging words. I also have some friends that have moved to the area recently as well.

Thanks for the advice on the good side!

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by The Illusive Man

I see what you're saying, but leaving a child behind is a tough decision. I just could never do that if I was in her shoes. Who knows how long it would take? Plus she'll have family with her to help for a time. There's only two choices in my eyes, either she takes her child with wherever she goes her or she stays put and raises her there.

When LA and families are brought up, people always come with plenty of negativity. I wasn't saying what I said to anyone in particular.

Fine. But no one in this thread was saying that about LA schools. The responses were regarding the OP's particular situation and needs. Also, yoru comment that 'it's certainly better than some cookie cutter sterile suburb' is likewise unnecessary. Glad that raising your daughter in LA where you were raised is working out for you and fits *your particular notion of what is good for your particular life/family*. There's no need to disparage others simply b/c people have different lifestyle likes/wants/needs.

Also, schools have likely changed since you grew up. And it's not just test scores or funding-it's school culture, whether families value education, etc. Elementary schools can be solid across the board, or at least enjoyable, b/c, well...they're 6-10 years old, ya know? Middle/HS can be different. Regardless, some people enjoy having cul de sacs where kids run and round and leave their bikes on the lawn etc. Others enjoy taking their kids to local coffee shops and concerts in city parks. Different strokes, ya know?

And a very important factor: The kids themselves. Some kids thrive in an urban environment; others do not. Trust me, if you have a kid who is a cross country runner from an early age, lots of space is a priority and you can find that in the burbs more easily overall. If you have an artsy kid who enjoys sitting for long periods, you may well have a great time letting them hang at your band's practice, coloring or what not [I have more than one friend with kids like this and lo and behold one parent is a musician. works out for them! Other kids want to be at a park or playing ball for 6 hours straight-I know those kids, too.] Yes, kids are very different from one another. People like to say that it's the parents, but I don't think that's the major factor. They come in with their own unique style and personality, further influenced by environment. My .02 on that aspect, anyway.

That said, when posters on this forum, relocating from elsewhere, specifically ask for good schools, most people will not jump and recommend LAUSD. You have the benefit of knowing the community, the neighborhoods like the back of your hand, and possibly/probably have long term friends and/or family nearby. Quite a different scenario-when you are that comfortable in the area and it is 'home'-vs. someone who will be completely new to LA and having fewer 'X' factors or variables to deal with is better. ie, knowing going in that the schools are solid, vs. they can be great.

Something tells me you are just not getting the difference and I understand that you feel the need to clarify the LA school thing [on nearly every thread where schools are brought up]. I just think a little more nuanced perspective re: posters desires, specifics of your unique situation and lifestyle variations could be considered in your analysis. Something beyond bashing anyone who says that LAUSD aren't the best and that some are terrible.

Anyway, OP: Good luck w/your pending move and finding the best situation for you and your family!