Stay in Bethpage or move to CSH schools (Huntington, Commack: new home, neighborhood)

[liforever]

I've been reading the forum for awhile and would like an impartial point of view.

So we've been settled in this home for a few years in Bethpage Schools. The schools and community are terrific. The elementary school aged kids are involved in school and sports. But honestly we could use more house and property. We can extend and get more house but never make our money back and you can never get more property.

So we make alot more money than when we bought and CSH are a good option for us but afraid to pull the trigger of the unknown as we're really not unhappy here. Thinking keeping up with the Joneses in CSH could be no fun since I'm pretty down to earth. I would hate for my kids not to be down to earth.

Kind of seems like a no brainer to move if you can afford it but I'm not sure it's all it's cracked up to be.

Opinions?

[GMS99]

CSH school system is supposed to be one of the best. I think you have to approach high school and middle school differently. Some communities have good middle and elementary schools but lousier higher schools. The social vibe in CSH is fairly laid back, so no need to keep up with the Jones. However, the social scene in CSH high school could be different for the kids.

[twingles]

I think others will disagree with me....well there's always a disagreement here on this board, LOL....but CSH is almost entirely very wealthy. it draws kids not just from CSH but from Lloyd Harbor and Laurel Hollow.

Not sure about "keeping up with the joneses" - simple fact these people probably don't even know what that means 'cause they are so rich. It should also be said that most of the kids I've known from there have been very nice and down to earth (I grew up in Huntington and went to church/CCD/worked with lots of CSH kids over the years - never had a problem with any of them).

I agree with pp about HS being a totally different ballgame than elementary and middle school.

I think it's a great place to live. But really, whether you feel like you aren't "keeping up" is almost always from your perspective, when you come down to it, most other people don't care so much what you have or don't have.

[liforever]

Thanks. You both make good points. I haven't thought about that "keeping up" is from my perspective and that perhaps there may be less "keeping up" since everyone could "have" anyway. If that makes sense.

[InfoSeeker52]

What about splitting the difference and buying a bigger/nicer home on a larger lot within your current school district? It'd probably still cost less than relocating to CSH, and, frankly, if you're making "move to CSH" money, you're also in an income bracket where you could always opt to send your kids to private school if you find the middle or high schools in your current district to be a letdown.

[Elke Mariotti]

As a former Cold Spring Harbor resident I agree, the "keeping up with the Joneses" pressure is/was almost non-existent, at least from the "haves". I was more of a "have-not" and agree with "twingles", I was much more aware of the difference than the "haves" .

If you have the option and are considering a move to CSH, I would suggest a move no later than entering Junior High, that's where a lot of the bonds among the children/groups started to form - after all, it is a small district.

My younger daughter still has many friends from Junior High and High School--all of them very much down to earth. My eldest started in High School and it was a bit more difficult for her to "break into" the groups which had started to form in Junior High (of course that's also a matter of individual personality).

[breetai3]

I think if you are happy in Bethpage you should stay. I'm a former Bethpage resident who moved to Commack for the better schools, but we were Plainedge district and Bethpage HS is better. If I lived a few blocks north and was in the Bethpage district I probably would have stayed. =)

[csteen85]

I don't have any advice for you OP, but I just wanted to say how nice it is to hear that you like Bethpage so much that you're having a hard time deciding between staying and leaving for CSH.

We're new homeowners in Bethpage, near Central Blvd Elem. and have found the community to be excellent and we are looking forward to having kids in the school system as well. Good luck, whatever you choose

[monkeygorilla]

Is CSH the only district you're considering? What about Syosset or HHH? I think either of those would be great choices and both are in close proximity to where you currently are (esp Woodbury for Syosset schools or the Round Swamp Rd area for HHH schools). I would personally pick either of those over CSH but I prefer a larger, more diverse district.

As others have said, if you have enough money, you won't feel like you have to 'keep up with the Jonses' in CSH. But if you are barely getting by or even just comfortable, you most certainly will feel some of that, especially in a district like CSH where there aren't middle class families to balance things out.

I'm surprised though that there aren't any larger properties available in Plainview- or are you looking for something different than what Plainview has to offer?

[7CatMom]

Maybe I'll present an opposing view here. I'll agree that CSH has excellent schools, competitive.

While those who live there may generally not have an issue with others who live there, kids can be tough on those who are "different". Sure, most of their families have "money", but the kind of clothes one wears, the car one drives, ones desire to imbibe in the requisite party drinking/drugs - all can create a hard atmosphere for some kids. It's not as easy to be an individual who doesn't believe in or care about those same things.

One personal experience my family had, being from Huntington, was how the CSH kids treated my kids who had the opportunity once to be included in some summer activities at a local CSH club. Suffice it to say, my kids didn't want to return there - and the offending CSH kids were ones they knew from Sunday School, it didn't matter.

A co-worker of mine who lived in CSH her whole life (and recently moved out to Huntington) was never included in the adult activities of her neighborhood. She didn't believe in dressing to the nines, going to parties, joining the clubs etc. It didn't bother her as she was comfortable in her family's lifestyle, but she had plenty to say about many of her "neighbors".

There have been issues in the past with high school kids robbing their own friend's homes when the families are away! One example I have knowledge of personally, was a family that went away on a skiing vacation, only to come home and find their house trashed - there had been a party apparently with belongings broken or stolen - none of the family's children were left home, so it wasn't their fault. Guess you can't let anyone know you are going away.

Now obviously not all people in CSH are like this, we do know several who are very nice people with very nice kids who are down to earth. But when you buy a house you have no idea who lives nearby, it's a crap shoot as they say. Knowing what I do after living around here for almost 60 years, I wouldn't buy there. I'm not like them and I wouldn't like it. I'd prefer a more middle/upper middle class neighborhood in a less competitive district where my children could still excel, be themselves and get into great colleges - without the huge tax bill also!!!!