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What gets me is that where and what I used to be, everyone insisted that I was HAPPY - because I was so good at what I did. I was miserable - I did what I had to, to make a living. And I was good at it - the scary kind of good, where everything happens exactly the way you tell it to or want it to, where everyone follows your lead, where everyone does what you say, and agrees with you - or even when they start out disagreeing, come around to your way of thinking. I was a "mover and a shaker" - and I hated it. No one would leave me alone, and to make things work I had to be certain places and do certain things that kept me away from what I really really love.
So - I chucked it all. I worked and slaved and put away, and then - I quit. Just quit and walked away. The retributions and recriminations and "How could you DO this to us?" were nasty and vituperative. I. Didn't. Care. I am not a power-tripper; I am an artist and a gardener, a lover of life and growing things, an animal lover, and a very private person. I love silence and being alone. I chose to please myself rather than to endlessly try to please others.
So, to me, the "secret" to being happy is to not care what you have to do to be happy, not care what others think or say or do about all of the wouldas shouldas couldas, and to set a goal of achieving your own happiness - and DO IT.
After 20 years of misery, with my face constantly twisted in a rictus of a smile, I am now very very happy. The people who matter to me know it, and the people who don't matter to me never did... no matter what they wanted to think, or how their greedy grasping claws tried to hang on. I threw off the emotional vampires and succubi, and went my own way. I highly recommend it.
(the strains of "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road" play softly in the background)
That was VERY beautifully put Granny!
I see so many parallels of my own situation in your post it was scary actually.
I too, did the great money job and became someone I didn't even reconize at the end of the day (assuming there was an end of the day!), and I hated it, and I hated my life, and my job, and everything that went with it.
So I quit. Now all those so called "best friends", never answer the phone (or call themselves), don't return emails, don't even care. I'm not in their little world of money and power and greed anymore, and they can't be bothered by little old me.
Which hurts a bit, but as time goes on, not as much as I thought it would have.
Yeah, money's tighter than ever before, but I have more important things now. I have time to spend with my family, time to paint and draw and sculpt and sew. Time to putt around the garden, time to play with the dogs, time to ensure my child gets the best education I can give her. Time for the more important things, ya know? Hell, I even clean my own house now, and save $100/week on a housekeeper, and LOVE IT!
So, while I can say I wish things were a bit more financially easier, I can also say I am happier than I have been in a VERY long time. Sure there are sad days, but who doesn't have those?
My happiest time was when the kids were young. Everyone was young, even my parents. This is not my favorite time of life. I don't mind getting older but my family is dying off and I am having a tough time with that. I realize we all die and I actually don't fear death for myself, I am just really sad that the people I love are leaving. I am very sensitive even as I age and I am not coping well.
Yeah, I kinda relate to this. I am basically a happy person I think, in general, and I still have a lot of blessings in my life, but am I happy with my life? Since our son died 7 years ago, I would have to say, no, I am not, overall.
Seeking happiness outside ourselves is like waiting for sunshine in a cave facing north. Happiness come from within. If you have inner peace, you will be happy. Yes, I am happy.
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