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Not sure If I should post this here or in parenting but I think its an interesting topic. My friends and I were having an interesting talk the other night involving the importance of parents. Obviously both parents are important but now as we are older we discussed which one had a bigger impact on our lives.
My conclusion was that Mothers are more important in early development, however after the age of 8 I believe my father was the more important parent.
We also discussed broken homes and how it seems children raised by single Moms (with little to no biological father involvement) seemed way more prone to problems later in life than those raised by their Fathers. The way the courts favor Mothers most would think the opposite is true.
Anyone else care to share some insight/personal stories?
As a single mom with almost no involvement by his father, I know that a child can't miss what they've never had. A solid parent is a solid parent regardless of gender, at any stage of a child's life. It would be ideal to have mom and dad in the picture, IF they were good parents and that is becoming a rarity these days. And a good single parent is better than two crappy parents any day.
Society is becoming more and more deficient when it comes to family values and morals, so I don't put any stock in the 'two parents make a whole" theory. I see way too many kids with both parents involved that are felonies waiting to happen.
As a female raised by the most part without a father, I will respectfully disagree. Both parent are important because a child needs both points of view to learn how to have a relationship. Your parents are suppose to be the model for relationships. Unfortunately. most parents don't hold up that responsibility.
It would have been invaluable to me to have a father to teach me about men and dating. Learning the trial by error method is not fun and very painful.
As a single mom with almost no involvement by his father, I know that a child can't miss what they've never had. A solid parent is a solid parent regardless of gender, at any stage of a child's life. It would be ideal to have mom and dad in the picture, IF they were good parents and that is becoming a rarity these days. And a good single parent is better than two crappy parents any day.
Society is becoming more and more deficient when it comes to family values and morals, so I don't put any stock in the 'two parents make a whole" theory. I see way too many kids with both parents involved that are felonies waiting to happen.
I am sure your a great parent but there is no way for you to replace or be a father. How old is your child? I agree with you on society as a whole lacking on family issues.
As a female raised by the most part without a father, I will respectfully disagree. Both parent are important because a child needs both points of view to learn how to have a relationship. Your parents are suppose to be the model for relationships. Unfortunately. most parents don't hold up that responsibility.
It would have been invaluable to me to have a father to teach me about men and dating. Learning the trial by error method is not fun and very painful.
Did you have trouble dating or meeting decent men? I noticed many women lacking a father often always meet "the wrong guys" or are just flat out nuts...lol. I am not implying you are, just curious how lack of a stable father effected you as an adult.
I would say that alot depends on the child himself. The decks are stacked aginst those that have one parent but there are alot of exceptions. For instances I know two brothers who basiclly didn't know their father . They are the two most knowledgable people I know about things you would thnik fathers would teach.I've seen brothers that were like two years apart when four were typical know nothings really but one really just had drive and really nothing like the others for some reason. Individuals really can be different in their motivation and conrol of their lifes.IMO parents can give a good start but nothing can guaranteee success like the individaul traits some just seem to have.I always noted in schoo; trhat like people tend to agther and associate and that if the group is motivsaed people the others that joiwil also be. They tend to achieve at pretty much the same level.
I would have to say that for the everyday life stuff...the girls call me...if they need their lovies...they call their dad. My son is the opposite...he needs to talk to me for the lovies and daddy for the 'stuff'
I am sure your a great parent but there is no way for you to replace or be a father. How old is your child? I agree with you on society as a whole lacking on family issues.
He's grown and gone now. I'm certainly not a man, but I had to do the work. He didn't miss not having a father because that was all he knew. But I was very aware of how raising a boy could go if I didn't balance being the mom with being the fishing/camping/football buddy. He had my brother and my dad as positive role models, but he had me day to day. So I had to mold myself to the situation.
He was a great student, very conscientious, never followed the pack, worked hard in school and was never a discipline issue. He's in Iraq now, very much a man. Had I not left his father, he would not be who and where he is now. He could have done all that with a dad (not his dad), but he accomplished all that without one.
I don't disagree that it would be better to have a man around to help raise a child, especially a boy. I don't recommend being a single parent unless you have planned and prepared for it. But it takes good parenting, single or otherwise to raise a good person. And sadly, a lot of women these days are not equipped to provide that nurturing when they're young, as you suggested, though that is how it should be.
He's grown and gone now. I'm certainly not a man, but I had to do the work. He didn't miss not having a father because that was all he knew. But I was very aware of how raising a boy could go if I didn't balance being the mom with being the fishing/camping/football buddy. He had my brother and my dad as positive role models, but he had me day to day. So I had to mold myself to the situation.
He was a great student, very conscientious, never followed the pack, worked hard in school and was never a discipline issue. He's in Iraq now, very much a man. Had I not left his father, he would not be who and where he is now. He could have done all that with a dad (not his dad), but he accomplished all that without one.
I don't disagree that it would be better to have a man around to help raise a child, especially a boy. I don't recommend being a single parent unless you have planned and prepared for it. But it takes good parenting, single or otherwise to raise a good person. And sadly, a lot of women these days are not equipped to provide that nurturing when they're young, as you suggested, though that is how it should be.
I rambled, sorry.
Thank you for sharing! I wish your son the best in Iraq and that he returns home soon.
I would have to say that for the everyday life stuff...the girls call me...if they need their lovies...they call their dad. My son is the opposite...he needs to talk to me for the lovies and daddy for the 'stuff'
I think most women rely on Dad for that self esteem boost. There is a def an important bond there. Thats why I noted most women I know who have little to no relationship with their biological fathers have a ton of problems. I noticed this during dating and just casual talks.
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