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But where exactly is the privacy issue? I would assume the information would go into a medical file, which like everything else under HIPPA can't be accessed by outside parties. If you're speaking of the woman's privacy from her husband, I would think his right to know if the child is biologically his trumps that. The only woman who would 'need' privacy in this case would be the ones who know the child isn't their spouses, yes?
Then let him man up and ASK FOR IT. Every man has the RIGHT already to ask for a paternity test. You are acting as if this is the only way someone can get a dna test. It really, really isn't.
And the privacy issue is about the genome that goes in your medical file. Insurance companies will then be able to use that dna to look for genetic issues and use it as yet another way to disqualify people for insurance, genetic disorders have already been used as "pre-existing" conditions. Just for having a baby.
And the privacy issue is not a gender specific one. Men are even more likely than women to have genetic issues.
Again, by making this MANDATORY the privacy of everyone is sacrificed for the gain of NO ONE. Because everyone has the right to ask for a paternity test ALREADY.
But see to me it has nothing to do with trust. For the same reason asking for an STD test before marriage isn't about trust. It's about being logical and realizing that the majority of people DO cheat, and NOT asking for a test can have possibly fatal consequences (or with the paternity test, life altering consequences).
1. Only two states currently mandate STD testing as part of the marriage license process.
2. The blood test that is mandated is designed to catch SYPHILIS a ONCE fatal disease, but isn't any longer. There is no mandatory test for HIV, or other STDs
3. It is not an apt comparison in the first place. Why? Because if you want to protect yourself from the majority of STDs (like HIV), you have to ASK for the test. So there really is no comparison.
Quote:
You can talk about trust and love forever, but I'd rather look at the numbers. I don't base my day to day decisions on the hope that I'll win the lottery, so why would I risk my health (or risk raising someone else's child) on the hope that I'll end up in the minority with a spouse who doesn't cheat? It wouldn't matter how much I loved my spouse, I'm still not risking such important things on something as ambiguous as love. I guess my issue is I just don't think love is that special- it's pretty ordinary, really, and it isn't a magical thing that means no one ever does something they regret. And trust is just kind of silly when the numbers aren't there to support it.
All of this, btw, is part of why I have absolutely no interest in relationships...so really I have no dog in this fight.
You do not have a leg to stand on here. STDs are much more likely to cause direct harm and are much more likely to occur due to infidelity than PREGNANCY and the responsibility is still on the partner to ask for the test.
Finally, you have no proof that the number of children conceived through infidelity is anywhere near the occurrence of cheating itself or even comparable to that of STD transmission.
1. Only two states currently mandate STD testing as part of the marriage license process.
2. The blood test that is mandated is designed to catch SYPHILIS a ONCE fatal disease, but isn't any longer. There is no mandatory test for HIV, or other STDs
3. It is not an apt comparison in the first place. Why? Because if you want to protect yourself from the majority of STDs (like HIV), you have to ASK for the test. So there really is no comparison.
You do not have a leg to stand on here. STDs are much more likely to cause direct harm and are much more likely to occur due to infidelity than PREGNANCY and the responsibility is still on the partner to ask for the test.
Finally, you have no proof that the number of children conceived through infidelity is anywhere near the occurrence of cheating itself or even comparable to that of STD transmission.
I wasn't saying STD tests are currently mandatory. Someone in the thread basically said she would leave her spouse (before they were actually married) if he asked for an STD test, as he should just trust her. I'm comparing that attitude, which I find very disturbing and just strange, really. to the same attitude being expressed here over pregnancy tests
Someone in the thread basically said she would leave her spouse (before they were actually married) if he asked for an STD test, as he should just trust her. I'm comparing that attitude, which I find very disturbing and just strange, really. to the same attitude being expressed here over pregnancy tests
I agree with this. I told my girlfriend that we should get tested because, even though she has been my only partner, I never have been tested. Clean bill of health, ya know?
She blew up on me and suspected me of cheating, and then suspecting me of suspecting her of cheating. Quite ridiculous. I wonder how she (or other women) would respond if guys said "ya been sleepin' around? you dirty slag!" every time they took a pregnancy test.
But see to me it has nothing to do with trust. For the same reason asking for an STD test before marriage isn't about trust. It's about being logical and realizing that the majority of people DO cheat, and NOT asking for a test can have possibly fatal consequences (or with the paternity test, life altering consequences).
You can talk about trust and love forever, but I'd rather look at the numbers. I don't base my day to day decisions on the hope that I'll win the lottery, so why would I risk my health (or risk raising someone else's child) on the hope that I'll end up in the minority with a spouse who doesn't cheat? It wouldn't matter how much I loved my spouse, I'm still not risking such important things on something as ambiguous as love. I guess my issue is I just don't think love is that special- it's pretty ordinary, really, and it isn't a magical thing that means no one ever does something they regret. And trust is just kind of silly when the numbers aren't there to support it.
All of this, btw, is part of why I have absolutely no interest in relationships...so really I have no dog in this fight.
STD tests are different because you can have an STD and not know it. And if you do, it doesn't mean you cheated during this relationship. Unless you're claiming to be a virgin, there's no assumption you cheated in an STD test but if you're smart, you'll ask for it before you sleep with the person. An STD is something you could have had it for a long time and not know it. Pregnancy doesn't work that way.
And this has everything to do with trust. If my dh had asked for paternity tests, he would have been declaring that he thought I cheated on him. How could I take that any other way??? Let's turn this around. What if your girlfriend/wife asked you to take a lie detector test to prove you had not cheated on her?? Would you think she doesn't trust YOU? You may not care about trust but others do. I won't stay with a man I can't trust or one who doesn't trust me. A relationship without trust isn't worth having.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 11-09-2011 at 03:25 AM..
Then let him man up and ASK FOR IT. Every man has the RIGHT already to ask for a paternity test. You are acting as if this is the only way someone can get a dna test. It really, really isn't.
And the privacy issue is about the genome that goes in your medical file. Insurance companies will then be able to use that dna to look for genetic issues and use it as yet another way to disqualify people for insurance, genetic disorders have already been used as "pre-existing" conditions. Just for having a baby.
And the privacy issue is not a gender specific one. Men are even more likely than women to have genetic issues.
Again, by making this MANDATORY the privacy of everyone is sacrificed for the gain of NO ONE. Because everyone has the right to ask for a paternity test ALREADY.
As usual....I need to spread some rep around. I think I owe you about 100 rep points...
There is, absolutely, no need or benefit to making something mandatory that everyone has the choice to do now. If you want a DNA test, then get one but I shouldn't have to have one if I don't want one just because someone else does want one, unless he's the father of my child but that is between him and I.
I think it would be wasteful for married couples but I can see a case for it being mandatory for unmarried couples.
What would be gained? You really only need a paternity test in cases where the paternity is in question. There is nothing to be gained by forcing everyone, married or not to subject to a test that is only needs some of the time. We'll save money by keeping things the way they are. It's a major violation of privacy to force testing on everyone.
Not surprising that women don't want it to be mandatory
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy
Paternity testing is available for anyone who chooses to use it. I see no reason for making it mandatory for all.
Because it protects men. Are they not deserving of protection? Why should they have to look like unfaithful men by requesting it. You know just as well as me that many would guilt men into not asking for it b/c they KNOW he's not the father. And b/c they love their mate or believe them, they don't ask and never really know. Why is it that we are so overprotective of women who are supposed to be equal, yet to men we just have the "well you should have asked for help or said something" attitude?
What would be gained? You really only need a paternity test in cases where the paternity is in question. There is nothing to be gained by forcing everyone, married or not to subject to a test that is only needs some of the time. We'll save money by keeping things the way they are. It's a major violation of privacy to force testing on everyone.
You need a paternity test EVEN when the paternity is not in question. What if a man has no reason to believe the child isn't his, yet it isn't. This is not a rare event. It happens ALL THE TIME. We even have television shows with hundreds of episodes devoted to these kind of events. They don't have to force any man. I'm sure most men, taken to separate rooms from their mate and asked whether they would want to take a PT test would gladly agree. We waste more of men's money by keeping things the way they are. Video cameras on the streets are a violation of privacy yet we allow it b/c it keeps people safe and helps to catch criminals. This is no different. It's easier to disagree if you're female but if you look from our point of view (which women rarely ever care to do) then you might start to understand.
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And if you do, it doesn't mean you cheated during this relationship. Unless you're claiming to be a virgin, there's no assumption you cheated in an STD test but if you're smart, you'll ask for it before you sleep with the person. An STD is something you could have had it for a long time and not know it. Pregnancy doesn't work that way. 
Not surprising that women don't want it to be mandatory
