Anyone moved somewhere they don't want to be? (buying, cities, son)
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I have been places where I did not know anyone, and I am not a very social person. But, I looked at each place as a means to an end, and focused on a goal, whether the goal is work on your career, get more schooling, get your body in shape, or just keep the house clean, work on a goal, it will help you feel more in control of your life. One thing a day.
Really true. Look at what you can get out of the place, something, anything. Then, you're there for a reason. Better than feeling there's no reason to be there. I lived in Central Florida, small rural cow town, for 4 years. Hate didn't even come close to what I felt for the place, but I had a good job, traveling about and making decent money so that was that.
I have never hated anywhere I moved, but I wasn't excited about being in the Berkshires (we lived there for 9 months.) I tolerated it, but that's about it.
We moved from there to Las Cruces, NM. Both DH and I are New Englanders. I would have preferred Santa Fe, but LC was where his job was. I liked it ok -- I thought some things were so beautiful. He did not do ok there -- just hated everything about the place. It was more conservative than we are used to. The main problem for him is, he does not adapt well to change at all, whereas I am easy like that.
I moved to Miami...hated the culture and city life. Every day was a trial. I just counted the days until I could leave....but I did enjoy many things while I was there...I considered it a vacation, temporary.
I moved to Miami...hated the culture and city life. Every day was a trial. I just counted the days until I could leave....but I did enjoy many things while I was there...I considered it a vacation, temporary.
Yep, me back to Michigan. I just cannot do the nasty, cold, wet, gray, depressing weather, and it hasn't even snowed yet! Heck, I was cold in August.
Back to San Antonio for me.
Good for you! Hubby and I moved to IL from FL, and this will be our 6th winter here.
I hate it! Totally dread the winter, snow, ice, frigid temperatures. I, too, have been cold for months already, don't even want to think about the next 5 months.
Hopefully we'll be back in FL by this time next year.
You were wise to realize so quickly that you didn't like where you were and to get out
This would be me. And it's not even because this is a "hatable" place. Actually, it's very pretty and there is a ton about it to love. But it isn't home. After four years it still isn't home.
I'm sick with missing true greenery, rain and seasons. Literally sick...I keep thinking I'm over it, then falling back again. Last night I sat on my kitchen floor and sobbed for an hour. I can't even explain how devastating it feels not to be "home".
Not everybody is like me, so I'm not saying this is the right way to feel or anything.
Anyway, we moved here because my family was getting very scattered, but DH's family was still all in one place, and my MIL and FIL had a house for us to rent. At that time my baby was very sick all the time and we were very worried. I felt on the verge of losing my job because my boss wasn't thrilled with how much time I had to take off for my son's illnesses, and my DH did lose his job (due to downsizing). So we moved presumably to be in the comfort of family (DH's family) and a warm climate where my son would stop being sick.
Southern California is adorable, at least the part I'm in. There are roses for 3/4 of the year, everyone's lawn is landscaped (I'm in the suburbs in the SGV), people are sooooooooooo nice. They're 1000X nicer than on the east coast. I could never move back to the specific place in the northeast I grew up in BUT I miss the vibe of the land itself; the way nature was laid out. I have always been very, very tied to nature and seasons. I felt like a fish out of water here nearly from the beginning, once the honeymoon period wore off.
I try and try and try to convince myself how lucky I am, and I am. We even own here, which is getting to be a rarity in SoCal from what I understand. But I am not home here and I don't think I'll ever be home here.
That doesn't mean I don't enjoy certain things here. I definitely do.
My DH is thrilled to be here, of course. He is completely blind and deaf to my feelings on this issue since he DOES feel at home. I mean we're within driving distance of his old high school. His job is here so I am here and I am dying. Every single day I die a little more.
I don't think I'll ever get back home. I think I'll die here.
WOW. If I were in that situation and I knew my husband felt that way, even though I loved a place, I'd be doing what I could to make them see it a different way... but if they just couldn't? I wouldn't want to see him unhappy, and I'd be looking to make a move somewhere we both could enjoy.
Is that even on your husband's mind? It should be. Unless, of course, you've been keeping quiet about this and he knows nothing of it. LOL
I had to laugh about the poster from "Squarebanks, Hellaska" and her loathing of the area. Many years ago, very much in love, I accompanied my new fiance on the state ferry from Seattle to Haines for him to complete his master's at U of A in Squarebanks--IN JANUARY. After we drove from Haines to Tok over the pass in 60 below weather and our car broke down twice on the trip, resulting in frostbite while we waited briefly outside both times, I arrived in Squarebanks cold to the BONE, dazed, and confused. The next three months were sheer HELL, plugging my car in to keep the engine block from freezing, wearing three layers of heavy clothing every day, crying inconsolably from the endless dark hours of "daylight," hating the supercilious attitude of locals towards "outsiders," having nightmares every night featuring monsters chasing me, and arguing over trivial things with my beloved. He just couldn't understand why I wasn't TOUGHER like True Alaskan Women!
You guessed it: our relationship didn't survive the spring thaw. As I boarded the plane to return to Washington State, where the endless warm gray drizzle during the winter rarely turned into ICE PELLETS, I shook his hand, wished him luck, and said, "Tom, even the birds up here are smart enough to migrate for the winter!"
Turns out he married a local woman and raised sled dogs for a living, more power to him. I found the right guy IN WASHINGTON--and we both love the rain and the moderate climate.
Different strokes for different folks...
I love this post. A happy ending for all.
I love western Washington, too. Got to visit there a few times when I lived in Montana. I would have no trouble living there.
Been over here in Clovis NM for four months now.
I sort of knew what I was getting into when I came out to here from Victorville and I'm just keeping various goals in front of my head to keep my spirits up until I'm good to move on again.
Pros- Distances to get from Pt-A to Pt-B are easy with a bicycle, no traffic jams.
Cons- Reminds me of Bakersfield, almost everyone owns a loud vehicle, windy just like the place I left.
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His job is here so I am here and I am dying. Every single day I die a little more. 
