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I wonder if I have a friendly face, because people often describe me as nice. I'm not nice by nature. I have to work very hard to PRETEND to be nice. This came into my head recently because my sister ran into someone I knew from school, and they said to her, "Oh yes, I know your sister. Mighty Queen was always so sweet." My sister said she wanted to say, "SWEET? REALLY? I would never describe my sister as 'sweet'." She knows.
But this thread struck me because I commute by train, and so I pass by jillions of people every day, and I can't believe the expressions on some of the faces I see. On my worst days, when it's really affecting me that I haven't had my second cup of coffee or breakfast yet combined with the fact that I have a godawful 90-minute trek to work every day and I am walking through a terminal, I sometimes see someone walking around with such a bizarre look on his or her face that I will say, "What the **** kind of face is THAT?" They don't seem to hear me, or maybe they just think I'm another crazy person in New York mumbling things to herself, which works out OK. But really, if you are in a public place, LOOK at people's faces. You see some weird things in them.
I get annoyed whenever people say "Victoria Beckham needs to smile" because I've always had the same problem she and a lot of you have in this thread.
Normally my mouth looks like it's frowning or pouting. I can only smile when I find something funny (a comedy movie or joke), at something cute (cats & sometimes babies), or when stoned on pot (but haven't smoked it in a long time).
Back in high school, my HS counselor called me into her office to talk to me about looking sad. When I told her I wasn't sad about anything, she just told me to wear a smile as if it were that easy. Not that I didn't ever wear a smile to school, I was sometimes stoned at school.
A friend's new girlfriend one time pointed out she could tell right off that I was stoned because she said I never smiled except when stoned.
Before my teen years, a neighborhood friend used to sometimes bully me by making frowny pouting faces at me to mock me and kick me in the shins. She changed later on and became friendly, but I think the reason she used to pick on me was because of my tendency to have a sad expression on my face when my mood's neutral.
I've also had people smile at me then soon after frown and act offended when I didn't smile back. I don't think I'm autistic or depressed, but I don't react to smiles by smiling back like a lot of people do. Instead I tend to wonder why they're smiling at me and turn away, not out of shyness but because I have no idea how to explain why I don't automatically smile back like a normal person.
It's silly when people expect others to be able to just smile on command. In the past, I spent time in front of a mirror trying to learn to smile on command, but my fake smile looked too obviously fake, so I gave up and don't fake it.
I could easily wear a constant smile if I'd walk around with a cat, happy babies, or smoked pot, but why should I or anyone have to do things just to satisfy someone who has issues about other people's facial expressions or other appearances?
Smiles are simply most attractive on most people, to most people. If you don't care, then sure, go ahead and sit there with a b*tchy face. But then don't come around complaining that guys don't approach you. You know full well what the problem is.
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