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I think you are WAYYYY to self conscious about yourself (This is a theme with you) and need to learn to be comfortable with yourself and to hell with every one else.
My GF "Is an hourglass"... and dresses in what I guess I'll call 'Business flattering"
I like it, I like her, she likes that, looks professional, and to hell with everyone else.
I'm actually surprised at the level of attention I get (and I'm assuming other women get) while dressed in my ultra conservative business clothes. I always feel matronly when I put my suit on but it seems men like it
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Originally Posted by DR2012
I don't care what other people think.
I think you are making this way too hard, or like the previous poster said, you are just fishing for attention.
Look, just dress appropriately, and in what you like, and ignore the rest! I don't even notice the looks half the time until my husband points them out. I go about my business and don't think about it or engage in it.
If you are wearing properly fitting clothing and not letting it all hang out, then what is the problem?
You cannot control the actions of others, so what does it matter? You can't. So forget about it. Whatever you wear, it doesn't matter. You need to wear, what you need to wear. If your boobs are hanging out or your butt cheeks are and your clothes are too tight, people may be looking but not for the reasons you think.
Wear the clothing that is appropriate for what you are doing. Make sure things fit properly. If you are at work, cover up what needs to be, make sure the clothing is not skin tight. I see so many women that wear clothes too tight. Stuff hanging out... they think they are hot. Just because you aren't big, and you are a small size, doesn't mean that wearing small clothes with your goods sitcking out makes you look hot or good. And I'm not implying that you are... but that could be the reason for looks too. I just see it a lot.
Just wear what you like, wear appropriate clothes for the setting, make sure they fit and look nice, and go about your life. Who cares about what others are looking at? If you are still bothered, you may need to work on your own issues, it's not about changing your looks to make others change their behavior.
I'm not fishing for attention and thanks for your post. I legitimately want to know what other women with similar bodies do. I WANT to wear what I want to wear. I don't want to worry about my chest looking too big or my butt looking too big in a dress that fits me properly. My concern is that I will look suggestive when I am not meaning to. As a young woman, I like to wear dresses above the knee and flirty tops when I'm not at work or school but sometimes I notice other young women giving me dirty looks or men looking at me for too long.
I hang out with mostly girls so I assume they would tell me I looked inappropriate or just stop hanging out with me if I was dressed truly skanky.
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Originally Posted by marie5v
Actually, hourglass doesn't mean busty, it's just a ratio of shoulders and hips to waist. I have an hourglass figure, but am only a B cup.
Having said that, it's not really clear what you mean by hiding your body or clothes fitting properly. We probably all have different opinions about what is fitting properly versus what is too tight or too small. If you are curvy, even if you are not busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy for work or school when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. You have to find the right kind of clothing, so that it looks flattering, but not too sexy. It's not about hiding your body, it's just that things that are too revealing aren't professional and are just not appropriate for work or school. With an hourglass figure, it's just not that easy to find the right things.
A curvy figure makes it really hard to find clothes that both fit and are not inappropriate. You do not need to wear loose clothes, for sure. If you had a picture (like, with no face in it), I could say whether I think your clothes are appropriate for school or not, and maybe even suggest a brand or type of clothing. However, it's impossible to say without knowing exactly what you are wearing now.
Yep, even when I was a 32c and a size 2 I was an hourglass. I think you explained the conumndrum well in your response.
Also no reason you can't wear yoga pants, get a good quality pair that will flatter your shape, and wear it with a nice thick but fitted longer-length tee that will cover your bum.
Jackets that fit correctly may help you with this. I wouldn't go to tight clothes, or frumpy baggy clothes. You have been blessed with a good physique, and you are only going to be this young and look this good ONCE. I would go with quality conservative styled T-shirts and make the look younger and trendier by choosing seasonal colors.
I would tell you also that when you buy your basics like t-shirts...I would go to a store that sells quality clothes with a modest conservative fit. Don't go cheap with bras, tops or sweaters. You'll look your best if you try to avoid cheaply made clothes for the top. Cheap knits lose their shape in a flash, and that won't look good on full-figured women...it looks matronly and kind of sad.
As for the glances, just dress like a lady, dress quality, and hold your head up high and ignore the rest of the ogles and drooling. Some men were not brought up to be gentlemen, and some, even though they were brought up that way, choose NOT to be.
Thanks for your response. What stores/brands do your recommend for tops that fit your description. I prefer to actually go to a store than order online.
The second dress in the list is cute, and with an appropriately supportive bra, I think would be an appropriately acceptable casual play dress for a young adult woman.
The third dress says "I'm cheap, I'm easy, please have sex with me or at the very least, please stare at me and let me know how sexy you think I am."
The first dress, if worn by someone with any cupsize bigger than a C, says to me, "Not only do I have boobs, but they're RIGHT HERE for you to see!"
Dress #1 and #3 are totally inappropriate for anyone with an hourglass figure, IF that person is trying to NOT get stared at. Both are totally appropriate for someone with an hourglass figure who REALLY wants to show it off and get noticed. For slender, smaller-hipped and smaller-breasted women, #1 is a nice evening cruisewear kind of dress. #3 is still very specifically, and very intentionally sexy, designed to show off and be noticed in a sexual way.
The second dress in the list is cute, and with an appropriately supportive bra, I think would be an appropriately acceptable casual play dress for a young adult woman.
The third dress says "I'm cheap, I'm easy, please have sex with me or at the very least, please stare at me and let me know how sexy you think I am."
The first dress, if worn by someone with any cupsize bigger than a C, says to me, "Not only do I have boobs, but they're RIGHT HERE for you to see!"
Dress #1 and #3 are totally inappropriate for anyone with an hourglass figure, IF that person is trying to NOT get stared at. Both are totally appropriate for someone with an hourglass figure who REALLY wants to show it off and get noticed. For slender, smaller-hipped and smaller-breasted women, #1 is a nice evening cruisewear kind of dress. #3 is still very specifically, and very intentionally sexy, designed to show off and be noticed in a sexual way.
Yes, I didn't look at the third dress, but that slit is definitely overdoing it; a similar dress without a slit and topped with a jacket would be okay, but would still show every curve.
I think there is a middle ground here. Buying clothes that *fit* does not mean you have to have things tight.
Have you ever watched the show What Not to Wear? they have had plenty of women on that show with large breasts, and they have lots of suggestions for dressing to flatter that particular body type.
I just don't believe that the options are as absolute as you present them here - loose and "dowdy" or tight and attention getting.
As summer dawns upon us, I have been wearing less clothes (to state the obvious ).
I'll wear a cotton t-shirt with shorts or a maxi dress with wedges.
My body has changed a bit, I have gained about 10 pounds and I'm in my mid 20s and my body has just changed since I was 20. I wear a size 4. Sometimes I buy size 6 if I want a loose look because I don't want to look sexy/curvy all the time.
I am self conscious at my commuter college because of my body. I always feel like I have to hide my chest in loose shirts or my butt with long shirts. I end up just feeling dowdy and frumpy . Also, when I wear looser or longer clothes it adds like 5 pounds on me.
If I wear clothes that fit me properly, I get too much attention and looks from the men in the classroom and I feel like the other women judge me.
I have been getting a lot of looks from strangers lately. It seems like almost every male I pass is checking me out. I try to dress conservatively but I hate feeling like I have to hide my body. I don't like how women are conditioned since we are little girls that we have to hide our bodies or be ashamed of them if we aren't small chested and rail thin with small hips.
I noticed my only curvy friend always wears baggy tops. She isn't fat she just has huge boobs.
I'm a 32DDD 38-28-39 and I want to wear cute clothes that every other 24 year old woman wears but I don't know if the attention is because I look slutty in anything that is fitted because of my shape or its just because I look good?
Hourglass ladies: Should we cover up more or just accept the looks and glances? What do you do?
I would quit worrying with what others think about how you look and focus more on my studies, my life, and my comfort. No matter what you wear you are never going to please everyone everywhere and the women who you think give you dirty looks would do that if you were covered from head to toe, it is how they are and you cannot change it. Stop focusing on things that are not really important in your life and focus on those things that are.
You have boobs, you have a butt, you go to college and you should never be ashamed of being a woman or your body.
I do not know anyone who was "conditioned" to hide their bodies or be ashamed of them. I was never taught that, I choose what to wear and I choose comfortable and practical for my lifestyle and I don't give a hoot owl's puke what anyone else thinks about how I dress or present myself inside or outside of my home.
Keep in mind I am 52 years old except I haven't cared about anyone else's opinion since I was about 6 years old, and I'm cranky at times, outspoken, independent, somewhat abrasive (I've been told) and I think recently someone tossed in that I am crass, right here on this very forum. Oh well, just another opinion I could care less about.
I'm not enormously busty up top but there have always been certain styles that I simply can not wear. Tube tops, tank tops might have looked appropriate on my less endowed friends but on me...No.
I'm in my later 40's now and dress shopping in particular is a royal pain. If the dress isn't inappropriate up top, the hem is w-a-y too high. Half the time when you see a woman wearing a dress, she has some sort of sweater or wrap on to cover up (boobs, flabby arms, belly, butt, whatever)..even in the summer. And I won't even get into all of the undergarment contraptions that women wear these days.
How hard can it possibly be to make attractive, flattering, conservative clothes for women? I know there is a demand for it.
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I would go with quality conservative styled T-shirts and make the look younger and trendier by choosing seasonal colors.
. Also, when I wear looser or longer clothes it adds like 5 pounds on me.