I hope I don't make anyone angry, and I shouldn't....but....
I am a first grade teacher and a parent of two. So everything I say is going to be from a teacher's perspective, but also from the perspective of a parent who has been there with her own handful of a son.
First, I do have to comment on the retention letter. The only people who EVER received the retention letter in my school (I have handed out a few) are the children who are being warned there is a possibility of failing the grade because they aren't up to academic standards. Not for behavior. Ever. So for you to say your son received this letter, but then to say he is reading better than his peers, doesn't make sense to me. I have had children on retention letters catch up to the other peers so they weren't retained, but they didn't go past them...as they were already in danger to begin with. Could you explain that a little further....
Then, if I had just one penny....just one penny....for every parent who told me that their child was bored and that was the reason for the behavior, or a part of it.........man, I would be soooo rich that I wouldn't have to teach
I'm not saying that it couldn't be...I know there are children out there that it could be part of the behavior.......but I am sure you get my point: there are children that are just....a little naughty........more than a little.......no matter what is tried....and not out of boredom.....
I have a child in 3rd grade now. He has been a handful since he was 11 months. Banging his head when he couldn't get what he wanted. A stranger would say "hi" and he'd cry. Mentions of autism went checked and he wasn't. Didn't speak until he was over 2...or should I say, did speak but no one could understand him because he couldn't hear until he had operations....
was a handful in daycare. Aggressive. Dr. tried to say part was due to frustration of not being understood. Was NOT like this at home. Stubborn- but not aggressive.
So I already knew school would be hard. I am a very strict parent. I do not give in, unless it's not worth it because I do realize you have to pick your battles.
Yep, Kinder was hard. A lot of aggression. He was always in the office.....and he goes to the school where I worked at, and I actually was glad because the staff knew how hard at worked with him and wasn't one of those parents that made excuses (yes, there are some). The ones who mentioned boredom was not me, but the assistant principal (he was reading at the end of first grade level by the end of Kinder, and excelled in all else). Whatever, bored or not, a child still needs to know how to behave.
Roll into 1st. The aggression definitely knocked down a notch (he is not aggressive at home, his brother who is 5 years older and him get along great and there has never been a physical fight). However, there was the constant calling out, not in his seat, trouble completing his work despite well being able to...........he was tested for gifted and failed it by 4 points (yes, I did have to find out
).
So I took him to a counselor at a behavioral center. Told her the only times there are problems with his behavior is not at home, but only in school, or on any kind of sport team we would try to put him in. Even the teachers who are my friends on the first grade team who have seen him outside of school say that he is like a different child away from school.
After a few sessions even the counselor said that she couldn't help him. He was fine with her...she didn't see the typical ADHD behavior that does even exhibit one-on-one. She made mention of something about too much external stimuli, and that may be taking a toll on him when it's in an environment that has that kind of stimuli-like school, or sports, and so on. She suggested we tried an ADHD medication, despite not labeling him as such because he had to be like that at home too, but because the ADHD medication might help him to focus a bit more in those kinds of environments.
I cried...so didn't want him on medication...hated the thought...but man, my husband and I tried everything else. Everything. Positive and consquences. I even had grandparents and all trying to help. SO we put him on the LOWEST dosage you can go on...5mg, of Adderall.
And he did have mood swings at first, which I hated and made me cry, but I was warned so I stuck it out.
After a brief while, his teacher mentioned how she noticed a difference. Still a little naughty- maybe that's his personality, but able to focus and sit more and do his work. The rest of the first grade year was SOOOO much better.
Move into 2nd. He wasn't recommended for the challenge class for 2nd grade, as his 1st grade teacher- my friend- told me that with him not completing all his work, and his behavior he wouldn't be a good candidate, although academically he could handle it. I agreed.
So then he was in second, with some maturity and more time on the medication. His 2nd grade flew by- perfectly. Well, not perfect- but no office trips. No behavior plans. Sure he got in trouble for talking and out of his seat, but it was managed. The only time he got into trouble for aggression was at recess, between boys over a football or something. I handled that. In class...he worked. He rose. Here's a little bragging here, but I do believe that it was due to the medicine helping him to focus: he got the highest writing score on a district test, out of the whole 2nd grade-and there were 8 classes; on a district reading test the only children who got a higher score in the whole 2nd grade were children who were already labeled "gifted" (yes, yes, I do check, the benefit of being a teacher
), and that was only about 6 or 7 others; and on the end of the year math test he was one of the few- maybe about 5 others, that received a 100...out of the whole second grade.
The reason why I am saying this is not to suggest medication. I know some are 100 percent against it. So was I.
But to tell you that I understand, because I have been there. To tell you to be careful suggesting boredom to teachers because we have heard it from every parent. I have heard it this year from...let me count...4. To let you know that academics is so much more difficult in first grade than Kinder, and parents don't realize it and think it is just as easy as Kinder, and where their child might have been the top of their Kinder class, please don't expect it to be the same in 1st. To let you know that it COULD be boredom, but it could also be boredom mixed with a child with a naughty personality and no matter what you try...he might still be like that......or to let you know that perhaps he was like my son, couldn't handle an overload of too much stimuli, without being labeled ADHD, and just needed the bare minimum of some form of medication to help him deal with it.
Sorry for the long post, and I hope I didn't make anyone angry by saying teachers have heard the boredom before, or by suggesting some form of medication....
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Ok, here goes....
I promise I write better in the classroom 
