Grade Retention (counselor, county, kindergarten, private school)

[one_bz_mom]

I live in St. John's County in Florida. I have four children. A son in K, a daughter in 4th, a daughter in 5th, and a son who just graduated from Nease HS.

My question is about my daughers. They are identical twins. Twin B did not pass the 3rd grade FCAT and was retained. She repeated 3rd grade and Twin A went onto 4th grade. When that school year was over I did not feel that Twin A was ready for 5th grade and I talked to the school administrator about holding her back. I was told that because of her standardized test scores he would not be able to bring this issue to the school board and have her retained. He then told me that he would have a better chance of holding her back next year (after she completed a year in 5th grade) because she would then be moving onto middle school. I agreed. Well, she is done with 5th grade and she did not have a good year. She does not have a learning disability. She is immature, socially not ready for 6th grade, she does not know her math facts, her spelling and handwritting are terrible, etc.) I want her retained this year. She is NOT ready for 6th grade. I again spoke with the school administrator and was told that they could not hold her back. I am fighting this decision. Does anyone know what my rights are as a parent? I can't find any information on-line. I have a team meeting tomorrow morning with the administrators, school councelor and her teachers. I want to go into this meeting with all the information I can get. Thank you for you help.

ps. I went through this with my oldest son. I did not feel that he was ready to be moved onto the next grade and was told by teachers that "he will get it next year". Well he just graduated and some of the stuff he still did not get. I don't want to do this again. This was in NH.

[Retiredcoach]

Originally Posted by one_bz_mom

I live in St. John's County in Florida. I have four children. A son in K, a daughter in 4th, a daughter in 5th, and a son who just graduated from Nease HS.

My question is about my daughers. They are identical twins. Twin B did not pass the 3rd grade FCAT and was retained. She repeated 3rd grade and Twin A went onto 4th grade. When that school year was over I did not feel that Twin A was ready for 5th grade and I talked to the school administrator about holding her back. I was told that because of her standardized test scores he would not be able to bring this issue to the school board and have her retained. He then told me that he would have a better chance of holding her back next year (after she completed a year in 5th grade) because she would then be moving onto middle school. I agreed. Well, she is done with 5th grade and she did not have a good year. She does not have a learning disability. She is immature, socially not ready for 6th grade, she does not know her math facts, her spelling and handwritting are terrible, etc.) I want her retained this year. She is NOT ready for 6th grade. I again spoke with the school administrator and was told that they could not hold her back. I am fighting this decision. Does anyone know what my rights are as a parent? I can't find any information on-line. I have a team meeting tomorrow morning with the administrators, school councelor and her teachers. I want to go into this meeting with all the information I can get. Thank you for you help.

ps. I went through this with my oldest son. I did not feel that he was ready to be moved onto the next grade and was told by teachers that "he will get it next year". Well he just graduated and some of the stuff he still did not get. I don't want to do this again. This was in NH.

If parents only realized the long term adverse effects of retaining a child.... they would challenge the schools with every ounce of their fiber.

This takes me back (too many years ago) to when I was on the 8th grade wrestling team in my school. I was wrestling against another 8th grader by the name of Kenny, who seemed to make it habit of throwing me around the mat like I was a wet dishrag. It wasn't the losing that I dreaded most, though, it was that his whiskers cut through my skin, & that he would always give me the finger as he drove past me after practice!!!

I have been an educator now for over 30 years, and I have never forgotten those wrestling years. I have seen very few students retained (it is truly an educationally unsound practice), and those who have, never really seemed to use that "extra year" to recover.... just to further bury themselves in perceptions of failure. Those self-perceptions often turned to personal searches of acceptance, and this was often inappropriate.

If I were in your position in PA, I could advise you better as to the steps to take. The best approach would be to have an attorney present, who specializes in educational law. Using the FCAT as a means to retain or promote a child would be easy fodder for a attorney to disprove the validity and reliability of the results of such a truly bogus test(s). Secondly, I would have a letter requesting that your child(ren) be tested (a full psychological) within 30 days by a certified school psychologist, to determine whether an undiagnosed disability is present ... then, and only then, would I make my decision regarding retention. IDEA of 2007 protects the rights of our children, and school districts must comply, or face sanctions from our federal department of education and/or the office of civil rights. Honestly, from how you are describing the educational traits of your children, it sounds as if a learning disability could be present, and there could be educational supports afforded them through an IEP. Good Luck!

[one_bz_mom]

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it.

[Retiredcoach]

Originally Posted by one_bz_mom

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it.

You are quite welcome. Please PM me to let me know how things turn out.

[navajoan]

I don't know if this helps, but I am in a very similar situation. My daughter is an August baby who I started in kindergarten sooner than she was probably ready. Every year I thought I should hold her back and every year I was convinced by the school to promote her. Her 5th grade year was HORRIBLE-straight C minus' and I also KNOW that she is NOT READY for middle school. She is socially immature resulting in few close same age peer relationships ( she is more attracted to younger children in her friendships), she prefers reading books of about a 3rd grade level (all must still have pictures) and fell 20 points on the FCAT in reading this year. Despite all of this, her school has decided to promote her despite my, my daughter's counselor and my daughter's psychiatrist's support for retention. I have found the only way out for us has been to apply for the Mckay scholarship and put her in private school for a repeat of her 5th grade year. I know how you feel as the decisions has been an agonizing to make and the lack of school support makes it even more difficult. If your child has an IEP, hurry and apply for the Mckay scholarship. It can be found at the floridaschoolchoice.org website. The deadline to qualify for fall 2009 payment in Early July ( I think the 1st). You have to first file intent which you can do at that website. Good luck and remember, you are the only one other than your child the has a long term interest in their academic success. Good Luck

[coffee4me]

Have you ever considered homeschooling her?

[LogicIsYourFriend]

I get the impression that you are overly pessimistic about your children, and are expecting the school to do all the work in educating them. Why do all of your children need to be held back? It seems that your lack of confidence in them may transfer to their own self-esteem and become a self-fulfilling prophecy in their school performance, and I think that you could keep them on track with school if you spent the time reviewing all of their homework and working with them.

You seem concerned enough, and I don't want to make assumptions about you and apologize that I have, but as an educator I know that lack of parent involvement and lack of self-esteem encouragement are two huge factors in low performance in schools. But I do admit ignorance in any other factor in your situation that I could not glean from your OP..

[cebdark]

Originally Posted by LogicIsYourFriend

I get the impression that you are overly pessimistic about your children, and are expecting the school to do all the work in educating them. Why do all of your children need to be held back? It seems that your lack of confidence in them may transfer to their own self-esteem and become a self-fulfilling prophecy in their school performance, and I think that you could keep them on track with school if you spent the time reviewing all of their homework and working with them.

You seem concerned enough, and I don't want to make assumptions about you and apologize that I have, but as an educator I know that lack of parent involvement and lack of self-esteem encouragement are two huge factors in low performance in schools. But I do admit ignorance in any other factor in your situation that I could not glean from your OP..

While I understand your points, there are cases for retention IMO, and I think it's rather like what came first, the chicken or the egg? Personally, I feel it's such an individual decision, that pointing blame to any one particular area (either parents or teachers - there is such a myriad of reasons IMHO) is counterproductive.

Equally, just as some parents are pessimistic about their children enough to hold them back, there are many that can plainly see that their children have not mastered basic requirements to move up to the next grade.

When they are advanced without this core topic mastery, they either fall further into the abyss, or lose class time to be pulled out for remediation. There are many cases where parents do work with their children (or send them to Sylvan or Kumon or private tutoring) but their children (for whatever reason - fill in the blank ) still lack the maturity to see that success in certain topics lies with mastery of the foundations of others.

IMHO, not being able to keep up with other classmates can also cause self-esteem issues that can cause children to beat themselves up and call themselves "dumb."

It's a tough situation without a doubt, but I think any kid's success still lies on what works best for them.

[one_bz_mom]

Thank you all for your replies. I have a funny story to relay.....I called the middle school my daugter "will" be attending. I did this after having a meeting at the elementary school she is leaving and being told that she will not be retained and I should contact the counselor at the middle school and tell him/her my concerns. So, I called and talked to the counselor. She was not very receptive to my call and seemed confused by why I was even calling her. I taked to her about my concerns with spelling and math and she told me that math facts were very important, however, spelling was not focused on too much since we have spell check!!!! I said to myself, why are math fact so important, I have a calculator!!!

[cebdark]

Originally Posted by one_bz_mom

I taked to her about my concerns with spelling and math and she told me that math facts were very important, however, spelling was not focused on too much since we have spell check!!!! I said to myself, why are math fact so important, I have a calculator!!!

And wow...are we paying for that now. How many times have you read something that has been spelled incorrectly? I'm not talking a simple 'typo' as we all do now and then, I'm talking in a document that has the same misspellings repeatedly.