Solution to Solving Middle School Bullying (counselors, pay, exam, teachers)
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Someone responded with "wow" to a more simplified version of this idea, so I wanted to flesh it out a little more and help explain for everyone not reading that thread.
For those that missed it, I had said that middle schools and high schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily gossip involved with their students in an effort to combat relational bullying. (mostly amongst girls, but boys are loosely involved too)
You could have a notebook with different colored pencils. And just keep track of everything that goes on with the students. You might even have a different notebook for each student, depending on how much of a pressure cooker the school is, so you can fully imagine how a student might approach a given situation. Maybe write things in red pencil if it is classified information, blue if it is common knowledge to students, but not adults, and green if it is common knowledge to everyone.
Because then pack situations like we read about in the newspaper won't happen.
Especially in middle school, girls aren't really secretive at all. The information is out there if an adult is willing to learn about it. But most of the time, the teacher just wants a 10-minute quick fix or has too much of an ego to "lower" themselves onto talking to the kids at their own level.
The only time a teacher talks to the kids is when they are demanding a story from them. Oh, I'm sure the student will be 100% honest when they know they will get in huge trouble if they tell the truth and they know the adult has no clue about what the real story is!
You need to basically have an adult do some paperwork or whatever during the day while the students are in class, but like sit and talk with them like friends during homeroom, lunch, free periods, and during sports after school and just have a full idea of all the cliques, rivals, enemies, attitudes, etc. I'd even like this adult to be addressed by their first name to encourage the kids to open up to this adult. Don't worry. You can always establish respect through your ability to directly discipline the students.
If you do that, if a situation arises, all the adult has to do is go sit with Person X and ask, "So I've heard Action Y is going on. What's the story?" and you will get anything you want to know without a filter.
For an extremely basic example, if Sarah and Jessica both like Chris, but Sarah and Jessica hate each other and Sarah tells Jessica that Chris told Sarah that he hates Jessica, it's almost 100% guaranteed that Sarah is lying. But if the relations between Sarah, Jessica, and Chris are unknown to the teacher involved in discipline, there is no way that the teacher can actually punish Sarah for lying, because when Sarah is questioned, she will pretend that her and Jessica are good friends. And if the teacher has no prior knowledge about these 3 people, the teacher has no right to punish them, because all the teacher has is speculation. But if the adult already has prior knowledge about it, then he/she can likely get Sarah to admit to lying anyway and, even if not, can clearly see why Sarah would lie in order to snag Chris over Jessica.
Yes, it would get a lot more complicated. That's why you should hire an adult to specialize in that one role.
Will secretive stuff still happen? Sure. But it will be way way way more limited in scope because it will be much more difficult for the bullies to get by without being detected and because so much more will be known about everyone in advance.
Someone responded with "wow" to a more simplified version of this idea, so I wanted to flesh it out a little more and help explain for everyone not reading that thread.
For those that missed it, I had said that middle schools and high schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily gossip involved with their students in an effort to combat relational bullying. (mostly amongst girls, but boys are loosely involved too)
You could have a notebook with different colored pencils. And just keep track of everything that goes on with the students. You might even have a different notebook for each student, depending on how much of a pressure cooker the school is, so you can fully imagine how a student might approach a given situation. Maybe write things in red pencil if it is classified information, blue if it is common knowledge to students, but not adults, and green if it is common knowledge to everyone.
Because then pack situations like we read about in the newspaper won't happen.
Especially in middle school, girls aren't really secretive at all. The information is out there if an adult is willing to learn about it. But most of the time, the teacher just wants a 10-minute quick fix or has too much of an ego to "lower" themselves onto talking to the kids at their own level.
The only time a teacher talks to the kids is when they are demanding a story from them. Oh, I'm sure the student will be 100% honest when they know they will get in huge trouble if they tell the truth and they know the adult has no clue about what the real story is!
You need to basically have an adult do some paperwork or whatever during the day while the students are in class, but like sit and talk with them like friends during homeroom, lunch, free periods, and during sports after school and just have a full idea of all the cliques, rivals, enemies, attitudes, etc. I'd even like this adult to be addressed by their first name to encourage the kids to open up to this adult. Don't worry. You can always establish respect through your ability to directly discipline the students.
If you do that, if a situation arises, all the adult has to do is go sit with Person X and ask, "So I've heard Action Y is going on. What's the story?" and you will get anything you want to know without a filter.
For an extremely basic example, if Sarah and Jessica both like Chris, but Sarah and Jessica hate each other and Sarah tells Jessica that Chris told Sarah that he hates Jessica, it's almost 100% guaranteed that Sarah is lying. But if the relations between Sarah, Jessica, and Chris are unknown to the teacher involved in discipline, there is no way that the teacher can actually punish Sarah for lying, because when Sarah is questioned, she will pretend that her and Jessica are good friends. And if the teacher has no prior knowledge about these 3 people, the teacher has no right to punish them, because all the teacher has is speculation. But if the adult already has prior knowledge about it, then he/she can likely get Sarah to admit to lying anyway and, even if not, can clearly see why Sarah would lie in order to snag Chris over Jessica.
Yes, it would get a lot more complicated. That's why you should hire an adult to specialize in that one role.
Will secretive stuff still happen? Sure. But it will be way way way more limited in scope because it will be much more difficult for the bullies to get by without being detected and because so much more will be known about everyone in advance.
As a mom of three and a former teacher, I can honestly say:
Unintended consequence: Excessive emphasis on further secrecy, leading to kids' total devaluation of honesty.
Someone responded with "wow" to a more simplified version of this idea, so I wanted to flesh it out a little more and help explain for everyone not reading that thread.
For those that missed it, I had said that middle schools and high schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily gossip involved with their students in an effort to combat relational bullying. (mostly amongst girls, but boys are loosely involved too)
You could have a notebook with different colored pencils. And just keep track of everything that goes on with the students. You might even have a different notebook for each student, depending on how much of a pressure cooker the school is, so you can fully imagine how a student might approach a given situation. Maybe write things in red pencil if it is classified information, blue if it is common knowledge to students, but not adults, and green if it is common knowledge to everyone.
Because then pack situations like we read about in the newspaper won't happen.
Especially in middle school, girls aren't really secretive at all. The information is out there if an adult is willing to learn about it. But most of the time, the teacher just wants a 10-minute quick fix or has too much of an ego to "lower" themselves onto talking to the kids at their own level.
The only time a teacher talks to the kids is when they are demanding a story from them. Oh, I'm sure the student will be 100% honest when they know they will get in huge trouble if they tell the truth and they know the adult has no clue about what the real story is!
You need to basically have an adult do some paperwork or whatever during the day while the students are in class, but like sit and talk with them like friends during homeroom, lunch, free periods, and during sports after school and just have a full idea of all the cliques, rivals, enemies, attitudes, etc. I'd even like this adult to be addressed by their first name to encourage the kids to open up to this adult. Don't worry. You can always establish respect through your ability to directly discipline the students.
If you do that, if a situation arises, all the adult has to do is go sit with Person X and ask, "So I've heard Action Y is going on. What's the story?" and you will get anything you want to know without a filter.
For an extremely basic example, if Sarah and Jessica both like Chris, but Sarah and Jessica hate each other and Sarah tells Jessica that Chris told Sarah that he hates Jessica, it's almost 100% guaranteed that Sarah is lying. But if the relations between Sarah, Jessica, and Chris are unknown to the teacher involved in discipline, there is no way that the teacher can actually punish Sarah for lying, because when Sarah is questioned, she will pretend that her and Jessica are good friends. And if the teacher has no prior knowledge about these 3 people, the teacher has no right to punish them, because all the teacher has is speculation. But if the adult already has prior knowledge about it, then he/she can likely get Sarah to admit to lying anyway and, even if not, can clearly see why Sarah would lie in order to snag Chris over Jessica.
Yes, it would get a lot more complicated. That's why you should hire an adult to specialize in that one role.
Will secretive stuff still happen? Sure. But it will be way way way more limited in scope because it will be much more difficult for the bullies to get by without being detected and because so much more will be known about everyone in advance.
Yeah, wow, and I don't mean that in a good way. I am curious as to to what your background is.
You would be surprised how much those students tell the adults in the school about their likes and dislikes of each other already. Most times we know the problems, where the trouble lies is in stopping the carnage with select students.
What you are proposing is not feasible from a financial or time standpoint. Nor do I think it would make a difference, it just means that you will give some of the drama mamas another stage for their antics.
someone responded with "wow" to a more simplified version of this idea, so i wanted to flesh it out a little more and help explain for everyone not reading that thread.
For those that missed it, i had said that middle schools and high schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily gossip involved with their students in an effort to combat relational bullying. (mostly amongst girls, but boys are loosely involved too)
you could have a notebook with different colored pencils. And just keep track of everything that goes on with the students. You might even have a different notebook for each student, depending on how much of a pressure cooker the school is, so you can fully imagine how a student might approach a given situation. Maybe write things in red pencil if it is classified information, blue if it is common knowledge to students, but not adults, and green if it is common knowledge to everyone.
Because then pack situations like we read about in the newspaper won't happen.
Especially in middle school, girls aren't really secretive at all. The information is out there if an adult is willing to learn about it. But most of the time, the teacher just wants a 10-minute quick fix or has too much of an ego to "lower" themselves onto talking to the kids at their own level.
The only time a teacher talks to the kids is when they are demanding a story from them. Oh, i'm sure the student will be 100% honest when they know they will get in huge trouble if they tell the truth and they know the adult has no clue about what the real story is!
You need to basically have an adult do some paperwork or whatever during the day while the students are in class, but like sit and talk with them like friends during homeroom, lunch, free periods, and during sports after school and just have a full idea of all the cliques, rivals, enemies, attitudes, etc. I'd even like this adult to be addressed by their first name to encourage the kids to open up to this adult. Don't worry. You can always establish respect through your ability to directly discipline the students.
If you do that, if a situation arises, all the adult has to do is go sit with person x and ask, "so i've heard action y is going on. What's the story?" and you will get anything you want to know without a filter.
For an extremely basic example, if sarah and jessica both like chris, but sarah and jessica hate each other and sarah tells jessica that chris told sarah that he hates jessica, it's almost 100% guaranteed that sarah is lying. But if the relations between sarah, jessica, and chris are unknown to the teacher involved in discipline, there is no way that the teacher can actually punish sarah for lying, because when sarah is questioned, she will pretend that her and jessica are good friends. And if the teacher has no prior knowledge about these 3 people, the teacher has no right to punish them, because all the teacher has is speculation. But if the adult already has prior knowledge about it, then he/she can likely get sarah to admit to lying anyway and, even if not, can clearly see why sarah would lie in order to snag chris over jessica.
Yes, it would get a lot more complicated. That's why you should hire an adult to specialize in that one role.
Will secretive stuff still happen? Sure. But it will be way way way more limited in scope because it will be much more difficult for the bullies to get by without being detected and because so much more will be known about everyone in advance.
Yeah, wow, and I don't mean that in a good way. I am curious as to to what your background is.
You would be surprised how much those students tell the adults in the school about their likes and dislikes of each other already. Most times we know the problems, where the trouble lies is in stopping the carnage with select students.
What you are proposing is not feasible from a financial or time standpoint. Nor do I think it would make a difference, it just means that you will give some of the drama mamas another stage for their antics.
But now that I think of it, couldn't you just give schools who have bus monitors, a few extra hours of work?
I mean they already manage to work from 6-8 AM and 3-5 PM each day, so they obviously are OK with finding something to do in the middle of the day.
And why, wow, I thought that was a pretty good idea.
"Carnage"? Maybe you should teach the students that not everyone can be friends with everyone else?
Someone responded with "wow" to a more simplified version of this idea, so I wanted to flesh it out a little more and help explain for everyone not reading that thread.
For those that missed it, I had said that middle schools and high schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily gossip involved with their students in an effort to combat relational bullying. (mostly amongst girls, but boys are loosely involved too)
I am sorry, but your idea makes little sense. It would be too time and money intensive and would most likely not work.
The problem is that to combat bullying at the older ages, you really need to socialize kids and teach empathy at the younger ages. Without a comprehensive program that starts in preK or K, you cannot stop middle school and high school bullying.
Ridiculous idea. You think teachers don't talk to kids? Really? Unless they are demanding a story. Do you really think it would be easy to track a school's worth of gossip? No way.
Side rant: why did the first 3 people that replied to this post feel the need to quote the entire first post? Stop doing that.
That has got to be the most ridiculous idea that I have ever heard..you want the schools to hire someone to listen to rumors and possibly prevent something before it starts? On top of all that, WHO is going to pay for it? We do have someone that does that kind of stuff, it's called Communities in Schools or CIS and schools have social works, psychiatrists, counselors and education diagnosticians..jesus man, what more do you want?
Oh wait, I have an idea and it's simple, hold the students accountable and get the parents involved since it is THEIR job to parent their child! Wow, easy huh?
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