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Sooooooo much blood...I will be finding spots of it till the day I die or move...the damn dog would sulk when I would go out..Now I sulk when I go out. I will not lie people. Over the last week or so when I stayed up holding hogans noise,and trying different drugs to stop the bleeding I would get angry at him for not stop bleeding. Then It would stop bleeding and I kept waiting to hear that licking sound that would signal bleeding started again..I felt so freaken helpless, and pissed of and scared..There are times I wished if you are going to die, please do it and don't make me decide when the time is right..I am not GOD, but we have to act like one when it comes to our pets sometimes. This is the first time in about 18 years we have not had a dog. We usually always had two, one younger and one older just for situations like this. But as I got older and had a few health issues one animal was enough..And now the only pets I have are in my mind...He had me trained as well as I had him trained. So now I still react like he was hear, but no reaction from him..Enough this is getting to much....Thanx for all your thoughts.
Hogan when I go out I will still leave the TV on for you and leave you your cookie...Your pal..Rod
I felt the very same way when Oscar was so ill. for a few days all I could think, when I knew his time was coming, was that he slipped away peacefully in his sleep. I wish he could have gone on his own terms and spared me the decision. but that one day I knew he was hurting, and losing the spark in his pretty eyes. I had to muster up the courage to do what needed to be done, just as you did.
I feel in my heart that if Hogan could speak to you he would say "Thank you Dad, you really came thru for me". He may have been ready to go- sometimes I think they hang in there just for us. when I took Oscar in and set him on the vets table, he laid down, put his head on his paws and sighed. he was just plain tired of it all. normally, he tries to scramble off the table. that's when I knew my decision was the right one.
Hogan, we wish you godspeed. you were a lucky boy to have so much love in your life.
You know Oscarmom,
Late last night or early this morning as I sat with Hogan, I also begged him to stop bleeding. I knew what today would bring. One of the things will hurt the most is when the wife and I would come home late, as we opened the door hoags big nose would barge out. He then would step out look around the neighborhood and finally let us in...On cold nights we had to rush him abit...no more..
You have my heart felt sympathies. I can imagine how much you miss Hogan and will continue to do so for some time. Try to look at it as one final act of love you could do for him. It sounds like you have alot of great memories of him which one day will bring smiles not tears. Share your story with others as I have found that really does help heal ones heart. You take care of yourself too and feel free to post here to vent or chat if it helps. Glod bless you for loving Hogan as much as you did. Jan
I know what you mean, the day after Oscar passed I actually went to fill his food and water bowls. and my husband felt so sad without his door-greeter after a day at work.
I miss so many things about him. Oscar loved his treats and would scratch at the cabinet for them 24/7. I would love to hear that sound again. he did it so much there were deep grooves in the wood. no matter how many times I clean the kitchen, I will not repair those scratches. they are a part of him.
I know you feel Hogan everywhere in your home, and will for a long time. sometimes I find that comforting, that Oscar's still around me. one nite I woke in the middle of the night because I swore I heard him bark ( and it wasn't either of my other dog's barks) it was his happy, excited bark. I hope he was letting me know he was ok.
Hogan will give you a sign- you are too connected for him not to
I do appreciate the remarks made here regarding my loss...I know people here have walked in my shoes. As I said like most here it's not the first time. It never gets easier, does it.
Oscarmom is correct I can go to every room on the first floor and find Hogan..From hair to little nicks on the wood. And there are speckles of blood here and there I haven't cleaned up yet. I will find them I am sure for many times to come. I moved Hogans food dish,water bowl, toys, old marrow bones,leash cookie jar, medicine, and dry food into the basement with my other passed pets stuff. It will be the quiet time when I am alone when it will really hurts. He hated the wind, very windy tonight in CT. My friend Dave lives up the block has two GSD..Hogan used to play with them. When I took Hogan for is walks or he was in the back yard Daves dogs if out would bark. When I hear Daves dogs barking I will always think of Hogan..I lost my biggest fan today...
Rod
I hope you guys or new guys start posting updates on how your pups are doing. That is the major reason for this thread. To get advise, and educate others...It is needed.
I don't know what the beast was that was killing my Hogan, and the vet was not sure. But in the future bloody noses will raise my alarm. The vet said if it was his dog he would put him down. He said next would come the pain. 3 weeks ago I was walking Hogan, now I am walking alone...
I believe you did the right thing at the right time. I still wonder if I waited too long with Oscar- but he only had slight nosebleeds and was chipper, eating etc. the night before we let him go he was very restless- kept going out his dog door and I would find him just sitting in the backyard. when he was in, he was pacing a lot. but he had his dinner and still scratched at the cabinet for his pupperoni.
the next morning was different. he woke with his eye swollen, refused food and looked uncomfortable. like the disease doubled almost overnite. I had him at the vet within an hour, couldn't bear to see him like that.
You loved Hogan enough to let him go, and spare him worse pain and troubles from this awful illness. he will always be grateful for that.
I agree people should keep posting about their experiences, it may help someone else, to know any medications or options out there. for example, I ordered some herbal compound the vet said may help dogs with cancer. sadly, it arrived in the mail the day after Oscar died. I gave it to a friend who's dog has a different cancer, he made it another year on it. so who knows, maybe Oscar helped
You said " the nightbefore we let him go he was very restless," I would find him just sitting in the back yard"..Hogan did the very same thing, and it was raining...I had to coax him back in. My mothers dog went into her back yard laid down and died...You didn't wait to long, just like I didn't jump the gun.
I went from months between nose bleeds to every day. The last night he started looking weak. By the morning he just wasn't himself. Things moved warp speed since I started posting. I was going to do a rhinoscope, and maybe if I did one much earlier things might have been different. Like I said, in the future nose bleeds will raise an alarm in me. But Hogan showed no other signs, and I felt sure his dive bombing caused the nick on his noise and that was the source of the bleeding. It wasn't.
my vet told me, not sure if its true, that some dogs when sensing illness or their time will try to distance themselves, even from those they love. perhaps Oscar and Hogan were doing that, already starting to separate. or maybe they are like people who just want to be alone when not feeling well.
please take care and try to sleep, I know I had a tough time with that. I still have Oscar's favorite blanket on the bed with me. things do get better, it takes a very long time tho
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