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Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,032,639 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coastal chic
I'm not saying dogs aren't bonded to their people or person----they ARE!!! My dogs wait right by the door for me when I'm gone, ignoring my son and husband completely. Ollie has to carry around one of my slippers if I'm not in the house.
What I AM saying, is they are very "in the moment" and extremely adaptable. After a few days, they learn to "love the one they're with".
That's all!
"Love the one they're with" is the only way I can console myself when I leave on vacation, otherwise he'd miss me as much as I miss him.
PS. I wasn't negating what you were saying -- no, not at all -- I just sometimes find that Artie's a little, um, dependant. Or, uh, maybe that's me...
I'm not saying dogs aren't bonded to their people or person----they ARE!!! My dogs wait right by the door for me when I'm gone, ignoring my son and husband completely. Ollie has to carry around one of my slippers if I'm not in the house.
What I AM saying, is they are very "in the moment" and extremely adaptable. After a few days, they learn to "love the one they're with".
That's all!
We went away for 10 days almost 3 years ago, taking along the 2 GSDs and leaving home my very old mutt and the beagle because 4 dogs felt like a bit much for a road trip, and they were best friends, and my mutt had always hated spending the night away from home. She loved car trips, but not overnight.
My mom stayed at my house and when we came back, I found both dogs in the bedroom crying in a low monotone to themselves, in spite of her presence. They were so engrossed in their crying that they didn't even hear me come in.
I felt so bad. I thought I had done them a favour. They love my mom and she said they'd basically done that the whole time.
I think that my male GSD would adapt (I don't think he would like it but he'd go with the flow) but I don't think that my female GSD ever would. We're likethis.
"Love the one they're with" is the only way I can console myself when I leave on vacation, otherwise he'd miss me as much as I miss him.
PS. I wasn't negating what you were saying -- no, not at all -- I just sometimes find that Artie's a little, um, dependant. Or, uh, maybe that's me...
No worries----I didn't think you were. That's what's hard about forums, it's hard to read what is behind the words. I'm sorry too if my post came off that way too.
My mom stayed at my house and when we came back, I found both dogs in the bedroom crying in a low monotone to themselves, in spite of her presence. They love my mom and she said they'd basically done that the whole time.
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,032,639 times
Reputation: 28903
Quote:
Originally Posted by coastal chic
No worries----I didn't think you were. That's what's hard about forums, it's hard to read what is behind the words. I'm sorry too if my post came off that way too.
Yours didn't at all.
And, just for future reference, if there are two ways to take any of my posts, take it the nice way -- that's always how it's meant.
I don't get to this day why they would act that way. My beagle - a BEAGLE is the most food-driven animal there is. I would always have bet the farm that she of all my dogs would be the most likely to adapt to any new home and she was crying away. Not the loud kind of howling - just a quiet I-have-given-up-they-are-never-coming-back kind of crying.
dogs are creatures of habit .... they THRIVE on routine.... and when that routine is upset or changed, some take it in stride, others have a harder time with it....just like us.....
does your wife or the dog sitter notice any anxious behaviors from him when you are away "longer" than you should be??
Oh yes - and my dog is one of those who really, really needs his routines. We try as hard as heck to stick to them as much as possible. Before I spent those 4 long days away, he seemed to be able incorporate my regular absences as part of the "routine." But ever since, any absence seems to be a threat of abandonment. I would guess that those 4 days was a violent disruption of the "routine."
When I am away on one of my regular 4-5 hour absences, he senses very well when I am supposed to be back. He starts getting more anxious, then restless, and if I am late, extremely restless. However, if I am gone until late at night, he just settles back into routine. In his case, that means going to sleep in the living room very early (around 7) and later going up to his bed when my wife does. He always is able to eat and sleep on routine, no matter what!
Our dog sitter has not noticed any particular anxiousness while we are away. From her reports, we gather that he manages well as he is kept to the same routine as if we are home. He does seem to be somewhat less active and perhaps not as happy overall. I would guess those are his signals that he misses us and maybe is reacting by being a little sad. However, I do not want to overstate as they are not marked changes.
netwit: it broke my heart a little reading your story about going away, especially because of your beagle. My guy is completely crazed when it comes to food. I can't even use food to train him due to the over-excitement. Of course he is just normal for the breed. When we got him, he had no problem eating but didn't seem to need closeness or attachment. We wondered for a long time whether he would ever form much of a bond. And then, and then . . . kind of took me by surprise.
coastal chic: yes, I get your point. It is always good to remind ourselves that dogs do live in the moment and to a large degree will love the one they're with. I really enjoy your posts and hearing about the perspective from someone who works with rescues.
DandJ: Your Artie sounds like a character, a really good character. I can hear in all these posts how each of you has such a loving connection with your dog(s).
I again would like to express my thanks to all of you. Your posts and extended discussion are helping me to re-conceptualize what is happening with my dog. And that in turn is making it a little easier to go with the flow. I will keep working on doing that, as no matter what, that can only be helpful to him. And doing that doesn't rule out trying some of the things suggested.
I don't get to this day why they would act that way. My beagle - a BEAGLE is the most food-driven animal there is. I would always have bet the farm that she of all my dogs would be the most likely to adapt to any new home and she was crying away. Not the loud kind of howling - just a quiet I-have-given-up-they-are-never-coming-back kind of crying.
My "rescue" beagle has issues and likes to sleep in the corner of my bed by herself, but the little girl I had up until last year was all full on BEAGLE. She could open the refiterator. She was too small to reach the counter but had been known to climb a chair then to the table by the counter to get to food. But she always did the "happy dance of rolling and howling and complete utter joy when I left her for even a trip to the store. Pammy is improving but she has some fear issues and my large overgrown puppy (legs two foot long at 8-9 mos) has helped her a lot with play.
But she does not like it when I leave and crawls under the covers to sleep. She'll wait until she knows its okay to come out. She howls and yodels and calls when I leave and if the curtain or blind is in the way rips it off so she can see out when I leave.
She's about seven so I don't think most of its going to go but she gets love and food and company and has lately started to snuggle at night so who knows.
I love beagles and their personalities, but I have noticed with both mind and roomates dogs that they may not be grudges but they show you. Cleo was exceedingly stubborn and when you said not and took something away she'd go and sit in the other room and ignore you. I don't know what this meant in "dog" but it sure looked like "I'm gonna go pout now".
Sure miss my girl.
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. I thought I had done them a favour. They love my mom and she said they'd basically done that the whole time.
