El Paso vs. Albuquerque (best, places, Los Angeles, life)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My wife is from Mexico. We have been married 34 years, of which most of that time was spent in El Paso. We have two grown children. One child lives in El Paso, other in San Antonio.
It works for me.
Larry
Last edited by AustinTraveler; 09-17-2007 at 11:08 AM..
Reason: advertising
Hmm.. well around my neck of the woods (right off downtown, near UTEP) I see a ton of college kids all over the place. I think it's safe to assume that not all of them are dating or married. As far as hispanic women dating white men, I don't think its that unusual. But I guess it depends..
I've been running various comparisons between cities, and I have to say, El Paso is looking better and better on paper (or on, uh, the PC monitors I've been looking at).
I think you owe it to yourself to visit the cities that you are considering for extended periods (not just a day or two) to look beyond what looks good on paper and see what they are really like. El Paso can be made to look good on paper but your individual experience may vary dramatically. I am from back east (NY to be specific) and I have lived in major cities on both coasts (San Diego and Boston) as well as several major cities in Texas and overseas. I have lived in El Paso off and on for about 30 years. El Paso is completely unique and not like anywhere else. People from back east tend to have culture shock fairly badly when they get here.
One thing which may or may not drive you crazy is hearing Spanish everywhere. I have a relative in the hospital and I just came from there and I didn't hear any English in the halls. The staff mostly spoke English (well, the doctors and nurses, the techs seemed not to) but hearing Spanish all around you can make you feel very, very alone. I know that I have had the feeling that some people here will speak Spanish to set up a wall between you, like they do not want to interact with you at all.
Personally, I love the outdoors and I was looking to mover north from El Paso to northern NM or CO and I gave up and modified my plans because the job situations were simply not nearly as good as the other major cities in Texas. New Mexico has roughly 2 million people while the DFW area has 11 million and growing, so obviously more jobs, more entertainment, major league sports, etc... Obviously problems like traffic and crime but one has to balance that and make their own decisions based on what is important to them.
Some of the things that really annoy me here are: the damn grocery stores do not have consistant stock from week to week, I don't know why with every other problem here that bugs me so much, but it is an adventure to see if the food you bought last week will be in stock this week; there is a "ruling" class here of whites and some hispanics. I personally can not stand the "rich" white people here. For one thing, they are not that rich (I've been dealing with lawyers in Amlaw 100 firms- the top 100 firms in the US- and businessmen from Fortune 500 companies, many of whom are millionaires and billionaires many times over). They have been less arrogant that some of the whites here who make $75K and think they are rich. There is most defintely a segment of the population here that doesn't think that any rule applies to them. I also feel a hostility and anger here among everyone. It is very noticable every time I am somewhere else for a few days and come back. There seem to be many miserable people here. They are angry and aggressive drivers, I have people in stores nearly knocking over my elderly father all the time, they are just in general rude everywhere here (and the anglos are the worst). You can look at people jogging in the morning in any other city and they look fit and happy, here everyone looks like they hate being out doing anything and people here do not regularly return my good mornings when I walk my dog- I get either totally blank looks or an angry stare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
That's a pretty widely talked about problem in El Paso and not just with non-hispanics. A number of hispanic friends have told me that is the same situation for them. It's always ironic how many people relocate from El Paso, then meet someone else from El Paso to date and then marry, but they didn't find dating at all convenient here.
It likely is what the above poster suggested -- a small pool of professional types here who are single and the fact that so many younger people raised here leave town. If dating and singles life is important -- it really would be better to look elsewhere.
I guess I have known that and talked about it myself but I was still startled that I met a half dozen women from El Paso within 2 weeks, none of whom were connected to each other and yet every one of them said the same thing. I know that I dated a lot here before but I never found anyone to get into a long term relationship with and I had another white male friend from out of town say that I would meet people very quickly anywhere else and that is what happened. When I moved I was going on dates within a week and I ended up with a girlfriend that I dated for a year and a half after one month.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ApartmentNomad
That doesn't sound too good. Taking my situation specifically, to what extent would you say Hispanic women in the area are open to dating (white, in this case) non-Hispanic males? (I'm not exclusively interested in dating Hispanic women, incidentally. I just assume that's mostly who I will be meeting.) I realize there will always be indiviual differences, but what is the overall culture like?
I think some people want to make it a racial thing and it can be, but there is a lack of educated professionals of any race here. I never dated a white woman until 5 years ago when I moved to another Texas city. Five to ten years ago, I went out with hispanic woman all the time (including a number of Mexican nationals). At that time, I had many of them tell me that it was a status symbol to date a white guy. Personally, about 7 years ago, I started hearing hispanic women tell me that they would only date "their own kind".
In the two years before I moved I hardly dated because of that and I just would not meet the kind of women that I was interested in. When I went to law school I was dating someone for the entire 3 years, 3 serious relationships and a bunch of dates. So I have not dated anyone in the past 5 years who did not have at least a BS or BA- most of them had masters of various sorts and most ended up with JD/MBA's. Most of them had also lived all over the US and overseas. Try finding women in El Paso with advanced degrees who are single- it is very, very difficult.
I have been back in town for 2 years and I haven't met a single woman who I was interested in dating. And this certainly isn't me because I have been traveling to Austin, DFW, and Lubbock and I have gotten phone numbers in each place literally within minutes of being there, of women who I am interested in. As soon as I leave town I have women flirt with me (of all races) while here, I very rarely have hispanic women who will even make eye contact with me and most certainly do not even make any suggestion that they are remotely interested. I have to admit that I have a fair number of married white women who flirt a lot but I'm not interested in that mess.
I should say though that if you have any job that women perceive to be a large money making, you will have secretaries flirt with you like crazy, but it is obvious what they are after.
Quote:
Originally Posted by holmes
Hmm.. well around my neck of the woods (right off downtown, near UTEP) I see a ton of college kids all over the place. I think it's safe to assume that not all of them are dating or married. As far as hispanic women dating white men, I don't think its that unusual. But I guess it depends..
I know that I am not interested in dating college students, I'm in my mid 30's and I am used to a higher level of conversation, experience, and a much broader world view.
I know that I am not interested in dating college students, I'm in my mid 30's and I am used to a higher level of conversation, experience, and a much broader world view.
Let me clarify that I'm 31yrs old and would also not be interested in some young co-ed in her freshman year either. However, the point I was getting at is that whole area adjacent to the university (in and around Cincinatti street) has a lot of night life and I'm sure a 20-something, possibly 30-something may find something that interests them there, romantically speaking. It draws singles from all over the city, not just college students..
I personally can not stand the "rich" white people here. For one thing, they are not that rich (I've been dealing with lawyers in Amlaw 100 firms- the top 100 firms in the US- and businessmen from Fortune 500 companies, many of whom are millionaires and billionaires many times over). They have been less arrogant that some of the whites here who make $75K and think they are rich. There is most defintely a segment of the population here that doesn't think that any rule applies to them. I also feel a hostility and anger here among everyone. It is very noticable every time I am somewhere else for a few days and come back. There seem to be many miserable people here. They are angry and aggressive drivers, I have people in stores nearly knocking over my elderly father all the time, they are just in general rude everywhere here (and the anglos are the worst).
I totally agree with this. Growing up in EP I though that all anglos were this way untill I started travelling around the country. The ruling class anglos (and some wanabe anglos-hispanics) in EP have a superiority complex that I think is just due to the fact that for years that "rich" and "powerful" minority pretty much ran the show down there. They were big fish in a little pond.
Let me clarify that I'm 31yrs old and would also not be interested in some young co-ed in her freshman year either. However, the point I was getting at is that whole area adjacent to the university (in and around Cincinatti street) has a lot of night life and I'm sure a 20-something, possibly 30-something may find something that interests them there, romantically speaking. It draws singles from all over the city, not just college students..
I agree, what I am saying is that much of the social scene here for singles of all ages tend to be the bar/club scene versus other cities where there is a much wider variety and I tend to see more people chatting each other up at the park, the grocery store, the bookstore, etc... Also, other cities tend to have much higher numbers of people with degrees (like the jokes about the waiters in Austin having PhD's) and much more diversity of people (and I mean backgrounds, education, experiences, not racial/ethnic diversity). Unfortunately, El Paso seems to have an overabundance of underachievers of both genders and all ethnicities, who seem to just work the same crappy jobs to get money to hit the bars Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, well heck, the whole week. I'm sure anyone who is not a complete social idiot can pick up people here to sleep with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lipbalm
I totally agree with this. Growing up in EP I though that all anglos were this way untill I started travelling around the country. The ruling class anglos (and some wanabe anglos-hispanics) in EP have a superiority complex that I think is just due to the fact that for years that "rich" and "powerful" minority pretty much ran the show down there. They were big fish in a little pond.
I'm glad that you have seen that, I tend to lump people together as El Pasoans versus anglo/hispanic because the same negative traits seem to manifest with many of the people who were born here. I know that I have met people from all over Texas, of all racial and ethnic groups, who are completely and totally different from El Pasoans. I have many hispanic/latino whatever you want to call them, friends from other parts of Texas who hate El Paso and the way that some people act here. I have seen a bunch of them be lured here from Dallas or San Antonio or wherever and leave within a year because of all of weird stuff that goes on here.
Although, some of the stuff here can be entertaining. I laugh when some of these people go on about their cars and stuff and I throw in a question about what kind of plane do they have- the look is priceless (one of my ex's from law school had a father with a jet who used to fly her in and out of town on weekends and holidays- and he actually piloted it too). And it tends to be funny when you have lawyers who go on about their father the partner in the law firm or business man and he gets indicted the next week for embezzlement.
That doesn't sound too good. Taking my situation specifically, to what extent would you say Hispanic women in the area are open to dating (white, in this case) non-Hispanic males? (I'm not exclusively interested in dating Hispanic women, incidentally. I just assume that's mostly who I will be meeting.) I realize there will always be indiviual differences, but what is the overall culture like?
I think most of them will date any one -- it's not race per se. The problem I see is that college graduates either don't come back, or they come back after they're married because for some strange reason -- all ethnic backgrounds and races, and both sexes will say the same thing. Dating in El Paso sucks overall.
You can find plenty of non-professional women to date and white/black/hispanic won't be much of an issue. However a whole lot of the locals begin childbearing at a pretty young age. Depending on the age range, they will be mothers of infants and toddlers, or mothers of school aged children, or teens. A great many of them live with their own mothers or parents well into their 40's or beyond. That's the culture.
When you marry a girl from El Paso who has never left home, you literally marry the mother too. But -- the same thing goes for most of the men, they stay with their mothers, or parents if they have a father. It's not considered odd in the least in the El Paso culture for a 40 year old man to live with his mother. In fact it's considered defiant for them to move out of the family home. The only good thing is that the mother makes for a convenient babysitter so you don't have to worry about your date finding a sitter.
I totally agree with this. Growing up in EP I though that all anglos were this way untill I started travelling around the country. The ruling class anglos (and some wanabe anglos-hispanics) in EP have a superiority complex that I think is just due to the fact that for years that "rich" and "powerful" minority pretty much ran the show down there. They were big fish in a little pond.
I attribute that to the large number of "not really rich" growing up with maids and landscapers. Since an illegal maid is very inexpensive and it's another part of the culture here --- hispanic and anglo, you have that "aristocrat" mentality where someone waits on you hand and foot.
In other cities, the children of the upper middle class are going to grow up making their own beds, making themselves a sandwich after school, picking up after themselves, in El Paso, they will likely have a live-in maid to serve them, the maid does all the housework, and yard work is done by servants who come by once a week or so unlike in other towns where mom and dad will likely have the kids pitch in on that too.
I attribute that to the large number of "not really rich" growing up with maids and landscapers. Since an illegal maid is very inexpensive and it's another part of the culture here --- hispanic and anglo, you have that "aristocrat" mentality where someone waits on you hand and foot.
In other cities, the children of the upper middle class are going to grow up making their own beds, making themselves a sandwich after school, picking up after themselves, in El Paso, they will likely have a live-in maid to serve them, the maid does all the housework, and yard work is done by servants who come by once a week or so unlike in other towns where mom and dad will likely have the kids pitch in on that too.
LOL! Illegal maids and gardeners are everywhere, not just El Paso. You can find them all over the country these days because they will work for cheap rates. You always hear about government workers, actors, regular people, etc getting caught with illegal workers all over the place nowadays...and it happens all over the states..not just EP.
I grew up in a middle class family in EP and I surely didn't have anyone "serving" me hand and foot, nope we had to do every chore in the book, and I knew quite a few middle class families that did the same thing. Some families did have maids but that didn't make the kids spoiled...buying them all the toys they wanted, never punishing them, and saying yes to everything they asked for did though.
That aristocrat mentality among the upper/middle class families happens everywhere..not just El Paso, again I have noticed this type of behavior in almost every town I have lived in or visited..saying that it happens here more is not true, you might notice it more here, because you might live here but it happens everywhere. I worked in a small town west of Los Angeles called Moorpark..and in that town, the upper class lived in one side of that town, on another side the middle class lived there and in the other side the poor people lived there..the rich looked down at the other sides..the middle class looked down at the poor side and the poor side looked up at everyone else...thats just how it works..and it happens everywhere..not just here.
And guess what, cheap illegal gardeners and maids are common all over the place in California, it doesn't just happen here.
I think most of them will date any one -- it's not race per se. The problem I see is that college graduates either don't come back, or they come back after they're married because for some strange reason -- all ethnic backgrounds and races, and both sexes will say the same thing. Dating in El Paso sucks overall.
You can find plenty of non-professional women to date and white/black/hispanic won't be much of an issue. However a whole lot of the locals begin childbearing at a pretty young age. Depending on the age range, they will be mothers of infants and toddlers, or mothers of school aged children, or teens. A great many of them live with their own mothers or parents well into their 40's or beyond. That's the culture.
When you marry a girl from El Paso who has never left home, you literally marry the mother too. But -- the same thing goes for most of the men, they stay with their mothers, or parents if they have a father. It's not considered odd in the least in the El Paso culture for a 40 year old man to live with his mother. In fact it's considered defiant for them to move out of the family home. The only good thing is that the mother makes for a convenient babysitter so you don't have to worry about your date finding a sitter.
I agree with a lot of what you say here, except for me dating in El Paso was a blast. I guess I had quite a bit of success dating a lot of good looking girls when I was growing up here. I feel that you just have to have a good attitude, good personality, and good confidence and the opposite sex will find you. Maybe I was just lucky and decent looking enough to find a lot of "hot" girls when I was in my dating period earlier in my life here in El Paso. OTOH living in Los Angeles, that was a little harder to find dates, a lot of girls over there look at what kind of car you drive or job you have before they tell you yes or no for a date. I drove nice cars and had a decent job while living over there..but I hated when someone would do that..because that is definitely not a quality I was looking for.. in a girl.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
